Mishti Unplugged....!!!!

Mishti completes her 8.5 months today. My Li'l lady is quite aware of her separate entity now and off & on showing off her own likes & dislikes.

She just looooooooooves music. Any music, jingles or songs catches her attention. So like a manipulative mom I use this music weapon for feeding, diaper change and sometimes to sneak out the "me time". Yes I admit that I do make her watch music channels to relax or blog or read.....I do not feel bad about it as handling Mishti all day alone sometimes is too taxing. Coming back to songs her favorites are "Ek main aur ek tu", "Aunty Ji", "Ooo La la" (yes still she is hooked to this cheap number),"Make some noise" "Chikni Chameli"...............the list is long.

She is very fond of few TV commercials as well. She even giggles while watching them and if anyone is obstructing the view of TV then she literally cranes her neck and arches her body to get a glimpse of the screen. Her favorites are "Oreo....Papa ye oreo open kar ke do na" , "McDonalds.....Happy B'day Dubey Ji" and many more which right now I do not remember. Also, those few animated characters of 9XM channel...Chhote - Bade, Bheegi Billi & Betel nuts are also watched by her with lots of expressions & smile.

She specifically does not like moong dal and spinach.Any form or any recipes in which I hideously put these two items she figures it out and spits out after few bites.

She loves to eat what we are eating and is able to show such expressions during our mealtime that any normal person ( like her dad & mashu.....esp not me) mellows down and give her a share. Now a days she is even chewing bits so coarse food is not a problem for her. So anything like palak paneer, aloo methi, spring onion subzi, macroni, burger fillings has already been managed by her.

She like fruits... :-) . Apart from apple & banana I had made her taste Keenu ( big oranges). 

Still she wakes up twice or thrice during her night sleep and wants milk.

She is not crawling yet but she is able to move herself from one place to other by rolling, dragging, head-pushing. So, now her play area is a mat on floor.

She now insists on grabbing any support specially if anyone is sitting next to her and gets into a kneel down position or sometimes even tries to stand.

Still she is gumming everything be it her toys, books, phone or any xyz itemwithin her range & reach.

She loves pulling other's hair out of scalp and nobody is spared ( dad, mashu, me, stuffed dog & dolls) from her fine motor skills.

I am trying to introduce a sipper to her and gave some water in it to her.Initially she chewed the straw and then sucked the water a bit but instead of retaining or gulping the water in mouth she spits it out. Also she found the cap of the sipper more interesting to chew than the straw.

She listens to stories and generally gives full attention (with big eyes wide open) to it when I tell them animatedly. Her favorites are "Elephant & stone" ( courtesy RM), "Rabbit & Tortoise", "Lion & Mouse".

But for sleep she prefers my out of tune singing rather bedtime stories. So the "loris" are "Lal Jhunti Kaka Tua", "Lakdi ki Kathi", "Kolaveri di....yes I found this tune convenient to my rhythm challenged voice", "Arre re arre ye kya hua, Dil to pagal hai, Chanda re, tujhe dekha to.....( are you getting the drift....all my teenage time songs 'blush'!!!)"

When in mood she babbles to herself and shout lungs out ( sometimes it sounds as if we are choking her!!!)

She is very skeptical about her image so in front of camera she chooses to maintain a dignified look rather than her usual flashy smiles & giggles.

With two teeths visible she now learned to use this new found weapon. ( victims are the obviously me, her dad & mashu).


She recognizes her name...Mishti & Ishaani both. She also takes her hand out of mouth when I say NO!!!


She is scared of me when I open my hair( generally it is a pony ( or whoever's) tail). She refused to look at me and continued to give me attitude ( generally she gives it to strangers) whole evening when I deliberately came in front of her while combing and swayed my hair!!!!

We bought few nice frilly frocks & dresses for her as we would be attending couple of marriages in Allahabad. I also got one patiala salwar suit (!!!) stitched for her. Also she has been gifted a red Banarasi saree by my aunt ( would be bride's mom) which she is supposed to wear on that wedding day....she would be the "best girl" after all. GOD only knows how I am going to manage My saree, Mishti and her saree all at a time!!! . For Mishti as well this would be an unusual experience with so many people around. Hope everything goes well!!!

Is my Mashu a Makeover artist?

Innocents looks are genuinely deceptive!!

Uff...close this book and then I can chew it properly!!!

Just Like that.......Piece of MInd!!!!

To neighborhood ladies:

I need not to justify myself why I do not come down and join your gossip group everyday. If I am not interested in discussing and chatting some silly topics throughout the afternoon with you, that does not give you any right to judge my social skills. I accept that you might be very good homemaker than me and I have no problem to it. Although difference lies there as you have maids even for cooking and handling kids while I handle all my household chores and my baby alone single handedly .... ( hubby & sis is there in evening though). I love to spend time with my baby with her toys & books instead of taking her out in pretext of strolling but actually gossiping & gossiping with other ladies.

Kitchen adventures...

So out of sudden this cooking bug has bitten me just a month back. With reference to various cookery sites I march on to my new found achievement. Few recipes which I had successfully managed...errr prepared are:

Vegetable Thepla : These were real hit....I even dared to give it to one of my neighbor as a return gesture of delicacies exchange.

Palak Paneer : I never liked this dish in general...means had never tried it even in any all veg dinners. Also, I literally threw up when I had it our office canteen!!! But as SG likes it and also he gave me the courage (don't worry, if cooked well it tastes good etc....) , so I gave it a try. It also turned out to be yummy. 

Bhuna Kukda : He... He I found this name quite funny...... :-D. It turned out be real hot and spicy. But I good point is that it took less time to prepare than other chicken recipes. Just added one variation that I used ginger and garlic paste instead of only garlic paste...( was bit apprehensive about the raw smell of chicken as no onions are used in this recipe).


Methi Chicken : I love this methi....give me anything out of it...methi aloo, methi parantha.... This is again very easy recipe. Also, I felt that chicken tastes better & soft if pressure cooking is done.

Fyi...I never loved to cook ....but somewhat I feel that being at home I can utilize the time and learn new things and just like I used to achieve my monthly targets in my professional domain , now this sudden spree of cooking is giving me the similar sense of achievement!!! Let's see for how many days this bug remains in my system.

First Pearl.

So today I felt the sharp edge of Mishti's first tooth while cleaning her tongue & gums....yes the first pearl is almost out of the oyster. She had been drooling since last 3-4 months and her itching gums had forced her to put everything in sight in her mouth (except her teether).

So from now onward, I won't write anywhere "her toothless smile" in my blog. :-D

People say....you should taste everything in your life once!!!!

Please...let her die!!!

Today's Times of India sent shivers to my spine. As a human being my head hung in shame when I read about this barbaric act on a two year old girl , who is almost battered to death. Literally my blood boiled when I read the article....was that culprit mentally challenged....to what degree of perversion can a monster have?  Now, so many big shots has jumped into the scenario and are trying to grab the limelight. For next few days, media would also flash the details of this incident and in a couple of days would forget it altogether. 

But one thing I really want is that this girl should not recover or live anymore. I know I may sound very weird but yes....that girl must die. At least her pain & plight can be healed with her death....which would not be possible if she lives. With a critical head injury, she might remain mentally impaired for rest of her life which is again traumatic. And if her parents are not found then she would be send to rot into any city orphanage where she might face another series of traumatic incidents like this piece of news.

GOD....can't these monsters be stoned or lynched to death publicly. No...I can't think any more about this. Simply horrendous!!! GOD please take that li'l baby under your wings as soon as possible. 

International Girl Child Day

Just opened my Facebook and came to know that today is "International Girl Child Day". So by the time my girl child is busy chewing off ( without teeth anyways..) her stuffed toy's tail, I am blogging.this post. 

Although, personally I do not believe in these specific 'days' but still I think I should pen down my feeling. My girl, I cherish every moment of our togetherness. You are the best gift which GOD gave me. I don't know how do I  fare as a mother, believe me dear, I am trying my best. I wait for the day when you would grow up into a head-strong & independent person. 

My Girl Child....GOD is kind enough to bless me this bundle of joy.

That day, I was watching one crime based show in TV which was showing teenager girls as young as age of 13-14 are being either kidnapped or poor parents being lured to sell off them, are bought by people in villages of Haryana & Punjab and are married (??) to boys there. The skewed gender ratio of these villages now compels them to buy girls from poor families of other states like Chattisgarh, Bihar, Jharkhand, West Bengal, Assam for. In this context, a recent article of Times of India shows that the people of these villages feel proud that they have so well fed their females that they give birth only to male child...Ridiculous. How unabashedly they hide their heinous crime of female foeticide which is the only cause of this skewed gender ratio. I really felt the lump in my throat when I saw the plight of those sold off girls who are considered only as baby (male child!!!)bearing machines and also treated worse than domestic slaves.

Why this mad desire to have only baby boys in a family? Only because some morons still think that they take forward the name of family, girls get married and their 'gotra' changes but boys would continue the legacy of your "gotra". These are the same people who worship various female deities. And why only criticize less educated people ..There are highly educated lot who's views & mindset still reflect the thinking of neanderthal times. Wish ...people understand the damage done by them before it is too late.

I am Hating this....!!!

Yeah...I am hating this winters like crazy.Ufff...it is so chilly here in Gurgaon.Since last four days, even Sun is also sleeping under his blanket. My whole drawing room is looking like a Dhobi-Ghat where all sorts of semi-wet clothes are dangling on every possible piece of  furniture. You see...semi wet clothes decorating the room as the wet ones waiting in queue for last couple of days in balcony. 

Born in December, I am supposed to be a winter baby (who the hell took this logic out of his/her great mind!!!!). I do not exactly remember about my preference for any season while I was a kid, but once when one of my aunt asked  I did said "WINTERS" as doing homework under the big "Rajai"( big blanket with stuffed cotton) and hideously coloring you drawing book while everyone else assumes you are studying was great fun.

However later I felt summers are better as you get more play time than winters (Those days we were allowed to play outside till it is dark...and obviously sunset is late in summers). Although in winters after coming back from school in afternoon we got the leverage to play around while all mothers finish their knitting in some terrace or nearby park under the sun.

Then in teens, I started liking "winters' again. We used to go to school cycling and summer sun caused a lot of tanning to us (He He..beautiful skin attacked by scorching sun). Those days, as school girls we were unaware about the concept of sun-block lotions, SPF, etc. The only aid which was used were cotton gloves which covered our arms only till just above the elbow, so, the skin colour of your arms would look like somewhat that colourmeter strip they show in fairness cream advertisement....dark but not so tanned till above elbow, tanned till the sleeves of the half -sleeve school shirts and then your own skin colour above that!!!

But now, these winters are killing me. When most of your daily chores involves water (remember I am Mishti's Mom who is 7months old) it seems like some kind of painful punishment. I do not understand when these news papers say its two degree more today or the maximum was this and minimum that yesterday ...the only thing I feel is chiiiiilling cold all the time.

As if this horrible cold is not enough that we have this 'What The F' (F= Fog). The fog blanket is really horrendous in Gurgaon where till last year I do remember getting lost multiple times while coming back from office at odd hours. Transport services are at the receiving end of this fog. Trains cancelled, flights delayed, office cabs not making on time...the list is long. Imagine waiting for the office cab for three hours post your office shift timings in this weather!!!
I do remember this funny incident when year before last we were waiting for cabs and it was horrible mess in the transport area (area from where cabs departed for their destination).There was huge shortage of cabs as the cabs who went for staff pick-ups did not returned due to dense fog.After waiting for almost three hours, we literally "gheraoed' the Transport officials. Due to this they hurriedly packed us ( around 8 people from our area) in a cab whose driver was sleeping of to his glory. We started from office and reached the highway with that grumbling driver who was visibly upset because of waken up from his sleep.The fog was at zero visbility mode when suddenly we realized that he had not switched on the headlight of that "Tata Sumo". We asked him politely to do so which he ignored. Then after all of us made multiple requests, he shouted back in his dialect "Madam ji, marne ka shauk manne bhi na hai, je gaddi mein lite hoti to kabka jalaya hota....lite tooti hai" ( Madam, even I do not want to die, if this cab had head lights, I would have switched it on...it's broken). So, now we all tried hard to remind GOD of our good deeds to help us to reach home safely!!

Now even I am feeling my fingers are jammed ....Winters, winters, why don't you just go away!!!

Koi Baat Nahin…Lakshmi Aayi hai!!!!

I thought writing this post few months back(lazy me can be blamed) but R's Mom post really charged me up and compelled me to blurt out my experience. Thanks RM.

Koi Baat Nahin…Lakshmi Aayi hai!!!!(Translation: Nothing to worry…Goddess Lakshmi (Goddess of wealth) has arrived)

This is one common line which I heard from couple of people when Mishti was born. However, not to mention that their tone never had that excitement if in real Goddess of wealth had arrived with a big gunny bag of gold & diamonds!!

The consolation in most of the people’s tone was quite audible. Sorry to say but like reading between the lines sometimes you can hear beyond the lines. Few smart ones quickly said “It doesn’t matter it is a boy or a girl, just a hale & hearty baby”. and they are smart ones to alter their original comments because of my ‘firebrand’(!!) nature but forget to wipe the consolation in their tone.

One of my elderly relative said 'Ohhhh (I am stressing on this big Ohhh)….daughters bring good luck to family'. Excuse me…if I had given birth to a son then why would have his ‘luck quotient’ had been lesser???

When I was in my 2^nd trimester, there were two or three more female colleagues who were expecting. So we used to have our group discussion forum on maternity issues anytime, anywhere…J. Few other female colleagues (generally moms) would also join us. One day, a mom to a 2 year old brought a fun test (a questionnaire kind of list which asks whether you like to eat sweet or salty food, which side of your tummy the baby has more movements…) to decide the gender of the unborn baby. All of us took the test for fun. After an hour I found one of the preggo ladies crying in the washroom. When I asked she told me that how mean of that other lady who deliberately twisted the test and told her it’s a girl!!! I got so irked that I sarcastically said that she can very well exchange her result with mine( I got the result that it’s a boy) and barged out of the restroom. Imagine an educated lady, working in a MNC crying because someone told her she would a mother to a girl….horrible!!!!

She had told me later that how her SIL (a MBA, mother of a male child) says that at least the first child should be a boy so that her importance in her household is maintained. I felt she was also quite convinced with this logic!!!

Another really weird viewpoint I heard when one of my close relative told me that if my genes overshadows my hubby’s genes then it would be a girl  ( we are two sisters only, no brothers  and my hubby has a young brother, no sisters)and vice versa. What a twisted genetic theorem…..I really felt like taking out my notepad & pen and explaining her complete XX & XY chromosome theory!!!!

Some futuristic people advised me to start saving money for my girl. When I asked snapped them if it had been a boy then a saving was not needed, they few got the drift and changed the topic to “money is nowadays such a necessity for better upbringing of a child”.

I really fail to understand why there is crazy attitude to have a son. Might be I won’t ever experience it as my parents never injected this fact that I have done some crime being a girl. We are two sisters and my parents never yearned for a son. When I was pregnant I read the news of a newborn girl killed by her mother in some village, I literally begged to Almighty that “please if a baby boy is in my womb exchange it to someone’s girl who are crazy for a son” (You see…pregnancy hormones were elevated at their best that time…J!!!!)

Jokes apart, I really feel sorry for these people. Some traits are injected so deeply that even high education cannot wash it. Another very common term I had heard that “Ye meri beti nahi beta hai (She is not a daughter but a son to me). This again turns me off. Why can’t we accept our girls as simple human daughters without labeling them as Goddess, good/bad luck charm or a son? Why any daughter has to prove their mettle by camouflaging as a son?

But I had saved the best for the last: My girl is fairer as compared to me and my hubby. So one of the elderly relative told me that “Good she is fair….you won’t face any difficulty while searching a match for her” Damn…Give me a break!!!

Touching Feet - indeed a touchy issue for me!

Here is my take on an age old custom – touching one’s feet for seeking blessings. Being born in a Bengali Hindu family this is something taught to us as basic values (it is an important part of ‘Sanskar’). This custom has different versions to it depending upon its geographical locations…like in Bengal & Assam you have to bend down touch both the feet with your right hand and then touch your forehead. In Northern belt, you can touch the knees and then touch your forehead.

My understanding says this custom is an interpretation of regardless respect for an individual which means that even the dirt of his/her feet is so valuable and pious that you can smear your forehead with it( In Bengali it is known as ‘payer dhulo mathaye newa’ or in Hindi it is ‘Pairon ki Dhool mathey se lagana’). I am not sure about the origin of this practice and I am not going to Google for it. My motive is not to write an essay on touching feet custom but just to highlight the senseless logic behind it. I know many people would digress but this is my opinion and anybody can disagree to it.

This custom is actually a part of every Bengali custom. Few of them are:

• Dashami of Durga Puja (tenth & last day of Navratri) would conclude with this ritual which is an integral part of Bijoya Dashami celebrations when you have to touch all the elders’ feet.
• Marriage ceremony concludes with this ritual when you have to touch all the elders’ feet including your newlywed husband as a mark of respect.
• Bhai-Phonta (A festival when sisters pray and celebrate it for long life of their brothers) also includes touching feet of the elder one by the younger one.
• First day of Bengali New Year starts with touching all the elders’ feet to seek blessings.

This ritual might had made sense in earlier times but in today’s’ scenario it is completely baseless. What kind of special blessing can you receive if you touch anyone’s feet or shoes /sandals /slippers (nowadays most of the people are wearing footwear all the time unlike ancient sadhus!!!). As a kid I really hated this unhygienic part….imagine an uncle of yours is leaving for another city and you went to say him good-bye to the railway station…just before the train moves on you have complete this action to gather the best blessings …obviously he is wearing his shoes that time.

I fail to understand that if I do not touch my elder’s feet, does that makes me less respectful towards them? Those who want to bless me won’t shower it if I just bow down or do a plain ‘Namaste’ (folding hands, joining your palms to greet anybody).  

One more aspect to it which I came to know that when a Bengali Brahmin boy has his thread ceremony (‘Poitey’) after that he is not required to touch anyone’s feet except any elderly person who is Brahmin only. This happened years ago when one of our acquaintance boy who was younger to me stopped touching my grandparents feet even for Bijoya Dashami after his “Poitey” (FYI: We are Kayasthas- not Brahmins). What a hypocritical interpretation, as this Poitey certifies a young lad as Brahmin therefore everyone else is now belittled in front of his newly acquired Brahminism.

I still remember when just a couple of days after my marriage it was SG’s cousin’s marriage and I had to touch everyone’s feet (elders’ feet obviously…special instruction was given to me not to exempt anyone as this might cause a rift showing my less respect for that person). Believe me…I didn’t even looked at few faces as I was too busy in showing the ‘respect’. In this process I even touched feet of one of the distant relative of SG who was of same age as mine….she felt really bad as if I was trying to hide my age and prove myself younger to her ( you see many people are quite touchy about this age issue!!!).

So as per me, only few plus points of this custom are:

You can prove yourself young to other person.

Good exercise for deflating your tummy.

You can check out other person’s footwear very closely……eeeeekkk!!!

Jokes apart, I wonder how any particular custom like this can measure the magnitude of respect for any individual? I can very well touch someone’s feet with zero respect for him/her in my heart. Might be I am thinking as one-eyed deer, so if you think differently, I would like to hear your thoughts as well.

Ye to Ibtida hai......

Actual date of this post is 6th Jan, 2012.

So Mishti had her first fall today. I went to answer the nature's call and she was lying on the couch appropriately shielded by 3-4 cushions. Suddenly heard a loud cry and rushed to see that she was on floor alongwith a cushin and entagled in a shawl. Immidiately picked her up nad tried to find any visible wounds....no, nothing was there....by this time Mishti has started her usual giggle sessions. So, learning for the day, now put Mishti on a play mat whenever going out of her sight.

I know these falls & accidents are a part of her growing up but still felt guilty (can't the nature's call be answered while she was sleeping....wish human body could have been proggrammed!!!).

While sleeping as well Mishti tends to move like the hands of the clock and many times I wake up with her constant kicks on my face.

She has also achieved her milestone of sitting without support. Thus, now she enjoys all the "filmi" songs on MTV & 9XM sitting upright and moving her body to the tune.

Her "Dida" (my mom) got Payal for her.

                                

Mishti with her first hair accessories

                     

Check out her new shoes for New year party

P.S. The title of this post means this is just the beginning.....



Recapture of 2011...

(Warning: Long post ahead. Also, this is late as I thought of posting it before 1st Jan, 2012.)

So when everyone is either busy in welcoming the New Year or bidding adieu to 2011, I thought of re capturing this year in monthly format.

2011 is one of the important years of my life…..my Mishti is born this year!!  So physically, psychologically & socially it has been an evolving year which brought so many changes in all spheres of my life.

2011

January started with really annoying petty issues about which might be someday I would be able to blog. As I was expecting Mishti that time so on 17^th we went to Kali-Bari (Goddess Kali temple) for my “Panchamrit “ritual. I was fed by the priest the Prasad made up of five pious (high caloric..!!) items like Ghee etc.

February was pretty cool month. Only once I had to rush to doctor other than my regular check up when I was in office and it started spotting. I called SG and informed my boss about my emergency. We rushed to the doctor for a scan and everything came out to be normal…what a relief! (We even had burger while on our way back….:-))

March was although quite non-happening in personal sphere but my professional environment was going through lots of changes. Too many rumors were floating around regarding some big changes in the organization and specifically in our department.

April begun with our visit to Allahabad for my “Saadh” ceremony (baby shower). This is a ritual where mother or mother –in-law treats the would-be mom with lots of delicacies and showers gifts. I was bit tensed in the back of my mind as I was travelling in my 7^th month with a huge tummy.

May was my 8^th month of pregnancy. I was still going to work regularly. I was completely fine but only felt like hitting few people for poking their nose in my life. Also, this month as my 9^th month started, my mom came and she stayed till August (big hug to her).

June arrived with the delivery of my baby the first day of the month. After that, really my world changed. First few days, I was not sure how to react or handle the feelings.

July onwards my life became quite predictable. Crying & mood swings happened lot many times (let’s blame it on post-delivery depression…).

August was quite similar to July. By end of this month I unwillingly headed towards Allahabad for two months stay. Yeah…this is month when I wrote my first blog.

September was kind of depressing month. I got framed!!! Wish I could blog about it… L.The only silver lining was SG got a new job in a desirable role & designation. Ohh…yes, By 20^th We came back to Gurgaon and was hit with mild dengue which triggered some weird things in my blood which gifted me joint pains which is with me till today.

October started with Durga Puja and we enjoyed a lot with Mishti tagged along with. My litmus test period had already started as I was handling Mishti all alone (no nanny as well).

November was our anniversary month. We celebrated with family and friends in a local restaurant. On personal front it was quite lean month. I was juggling with taking care of Mishti & house hold work.

P.S. I wrote maximum number of blogs this month…J

December was my birth month, so celebrate karna to banta hai…….. My parents visited us thus had a wonderful time with my family. Also, for few days, I didn’t have to worry about Mishti as my mom & sis was around all the time…J

I was quite struggling to write this blog as there were so many things which I am not able to recollect properly and also other things about which I want to write a lot. But still I managed to finish this post as this is the only way to record events of 2011.

I start New Year with no resolutions as I feel bonded with these things. Just few things which I want to apply to my life sincerely:

Write blogs regularly as this is only way of utilizing my “ME” time.

Be more organized, if necessary start using notebooks to remember all the small things I forget like giving electricity bill cheque on time, booking gas,…etc(list is long).

Continue doing the fantabulous (!!!) task of handling Mishti. Yes…I am confident that I am trying to be an excellent mom so would continue that.

There might be few more things which I would like to do in this 2012 but would add them eventually.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL....HAPPY BLOGGING TO ME..:-)

Happy Birthday to me.....

Last 19th it was my 31^st birthday. This year we have celebrated it on 17^th (being 19^th a Monday, my practical hubby threw the party on Saturday so that nobody’s daily routine is disturbed). So, on 19^th as the temperature outside was 1.8 degrees, a lazy sloth like me spent the day in the house only.

This chilling winter is one thing which I really hate about my birthday. Ohh gosh…I still wonder how my mom had managed to make me wear winterwears when I was just born!!!!!.

Anyways, as in this post I am going to rant about my various memories related to my birthday, so let me start with the most exciting part of any birthday, i.e. gifts. Alas….80% of my birthday gifts are winter wears.  One birthday gift I do remember when I got a combo of 12 board games in one pack (Chinese checkers, zoologic etc…) as gift from my parents on my 10^th or 11^th birthday. My dad played a prank while giving it to me. He called me and started scolding me saying one of my neighbors had complained that I hit her. He asked me to stand in a corner and then suddenly placed this game pack in my hand…..ohhhh I was so thrilled.

As every year this day falls during the winter vacation thus invariably I have missed that experience where you go to school in a new dress other than school uniform (kids used to do that time), distribute toffees, gather greeting cards and get exempted from all the scoldings!!!

We never had lavish birthday parties as kids but yes it was celebrated in quite a homely way. On my 8^th or 9^th birthday we went out for dinner (me, my parents, grandparents & sis). I do remember this as those days eating out was not at all common like today.

When I grew up, birthday was celebrated with few friends for dinner at home when mom would cook variety of delicacies.  One incident I remember, it was the year 2002, as my dadu (grand-dad) died the same year, so we decided not to call any friends for dinner. However, my mom still cooked few items (like payes (kheer), macher chop (fish cutlets) etc. as she anticipated that my friends would visit me for giving gifts (and obviously wishing birthday). She was right, few close friends visited with gifts and we were enjoying the food when one of our neighborhood lady visited our place (She was of a kind who loved to poke her nose in other’s life and spread juicy news about it…!!!!). Next day, she duly informed all my other friends in the locality (who did not visited yesterday) that I had a secret party at my place where I did not invited them purposely!!!!

Another birthday, two of my friends (one is my hubby now) got two big cakes as gifts. So we ate only cake for breakfast for next three-four days…!!!

One one of birthday I was quite upset with my ex-BF as he gave me a contributed gift (when few of your friends contribute money and get a common expensive gift). My expectation was that atleast he could have used some of his mind's energy to get something exclusive for me....:-)

After marriage, my hubby has ensured to throw a party every year on that day. Not a very grand one, but few of our local friends and cousins were invited for drinks & food.

Last year I lost my phone on my birthday...!!!!But I would say GOD is great as it's being my birthday & also as I was expecting Mishti nobody(people like my hubby or my dad) scolded me.

This year my birthday was significant as I discovered one white hair…!!! on my scalp…it’s my first one!!!
Getting old….huh!!! I would have my thirties rocking the same way as my previous decades.

What's goin on??

Do you remember the song of ‘Salaam-Namaste’ which says “Poune barah baje, dono ghar se chale….What’s goin on”. So last Thursday, Mishti’s parents recreated the same song but obviously the mood was completely different (coz life is not a Hindi movie….!!). Let me start from the beginning.

1^st Dec was one of those happening days. When I say happening don’t run your imaginations wild, for a SAHM, baby puking thrice for the first time is quite disturbing and happening. Also, I am bit jinxed about a stupid issue. My date of birth is 19^th. If you add 1+9 = 10;1+0=1, so as per numerology my number is 1. I feel that all those days which eventually are number 1 are generally happening for me. I mean to say dates like 1,10,19 & 28 are those days of month when something happens which is other than normal routine!!(Do not laugh, at least not on my face). I mentioned before that it is a stupid issue, there are many important events of my life which does not happened on these days, e.g. my marriage (is it not happening enough???), my first job(???), so consider it as a funny superstition!!.

Anyways, coming back to the context, Mishti puked thrice on that day so I worriedly called SG (hubby) in office. He came home early and took us to the doctor. It was nothing serious as the Doc said so we came back in the evening. When I was preparing formula milk for her in night, I suddenly realized that Lactogen is about to finish….!!!. What about her midnight feeds? So now the inevitable blame game started.

My story: I have told SG last three days to get this Lactogen. First day he ignored, second day he had an office event so came back late in the night and third day we were more concerned about the puking issue so forgot!! He blamed me that if he didn’t get it on first day why I never pointed out? Honestly, it slipped out of my mind as well.

SG’s story: I know she told me three days about it but if she can remember all the days and issues of our fights which happened long back then why can’t she remember to remind me about this? Last day she should have mentioned it strongly that it’s gonna finish!!!

So I have decided that from next time I would dance a bit and then remind SG if something has to be bought on priority…he might get the importance of issue then. (Any ways, did someone notice how  my side of story looks more convincing , isn’t it??. So what, this is my blog…this much leverage I can take…right!!!). We explored the option of giving her normal milk in a dilute form but then this would be the first time for her to have something other than her formula milk. We were apprehensive and ruled out the idea. (and also if it does not suit her system then again this blame game would start..Let’s play safe!!)

So at 11:45 PM after a bad arguement we went out to get the Lactogen. It was like Obama & Osama sitting in the same car and looking out for something!!! Finally, got that thing in a nearby (about 6 km) hospital’s pharmacy. Now you understand why I said "Poune barah baje, dono ghar se chale…What’s going on!!!”

Fading Humanity...

Yesterday morning, I was sitting in my balcony with Mishti for her natural Vitamin- D intake (sun-rays…!!), when I overheard two of my neighboring ladies conversation. One of them who stay just next to my house was narrating her ordeal because of absence of her maid.

I readily empathized with her as she is a lady in her late fifties and has been handling her 3 year old grandson while his parents are abroad for some work assignments. It must be so hard for that old couple to handle that li'l bundle of energy without a maid.The discussion of those two ladies drifted from how irresponsible these maids are, and how easily they do not turn up for work and also do not provide any backup ( yeah…few maids are generous enough to provide  backups also!!!). My neighboring lady was whining continuously and the other one advised her to deduct the salary for the absent days.

Later that day my maid informed me that a 14 year old girl who stays in her locality met with a bad accident last night while returning from work. A truck crushed her and she is battling for her life in some shoddy hospital. But when she told me that this girl used to work in my neighbors’ house then I related that this was the same maid about whom the lady was complaining. I told my maid that it seems nobody knows about it in our apartment. She instantly snapped and said “No, I personally informed all the houses where she worked last night and also requested them to give her month’s salary two days early to her family as a help. Your neighbors said money would only be given on 1^st of every month, not before or after that!!!”  

I was SHOCKED!!!. I do not know my neighbors personally but how people can be so insensitive? I don’t think that their financial condition is a constraint in giving few bucks of money to a needy person. And also, not to forget the morning whining session. That time the lady was aware that the poor girl is in hospital and has not taken leave “just like that”, still she portrayed as if her maid has ran away without informing her. Might be, she is too irritated by handling a toddler all alone. I do not want to be judgmental but are we forgetting the term ‘humanity’? Why our mind is now always in a self-centric mode where we forget to think about anybody outside us & our family!!!!          

                                                       

Height of Addiction....

Mishti has developed special attraction for TV advertisements jingles. Every time any such tune is played a smile flashes on her face. Although still her favourites are some worthless songs like 'Dhinka Chika', 'Chammak Challo' & 'Oooohh La La'  but now it has been observed that few advertisements numbers are also obliged by her highness. One of them is Bingo Mad Angles ad where it shows a spoof of Alibaba who says "Khul ja simba...khul ja sim-sim".

Today Mishti was taking her afternoon nap on the couch in drawing room and TV was on. Suddenly this ad was aired and she immediately woke up from her sleep, turned around looked into the screen and gave a broad smile. I was cursing myself for not lowering the volume of TV and thought that now she would be super- cranky because waken up from half sleep.

But wait.... as soon the ad was over she turned around again and slept off....!!!!. She slept for next 2 hours heartily.!!!! Wonder why I rush to prepare milk or start singing any random song ( hypothetically consider it as lullaby) whenever she wakes up in middle of night.....!!

She looks real 'Badmash...Isn't it!!!

Just Like That........Prema- Gyan

 

My maid Prema asked me why I don’t apply ‘Kaajal’ in my baby’s eyes. Now a days, She has taken up the responsibility of showering her advisory tips as she finds me & hubby most of the times coping up with new parenthoodhood all alone.

So, I told her that it causes infection and to avoid more debate on the topic added that doctor has asked not to apply ‘Kaajal’. She put forward her counter logic and said that you guys were also grown up with Kaajal in your eyes, did you have infection? Eyes look big and beautiful with Kaajal (What beautiful….my childhood snaps shows how horrible I used to look with broad & smudged kaajal all over my face!!!!).

Then she shot her masterpiece: Apply Kaajal every day, but the days you have to visit doctor rub it off & clean the face of the baby.....so simple.....:-) !!!!

State of mind???

This incident happened around 3 years ago in sept 2008. I still do not have any logical explanation for it. I do feel that it was all a state of mind.

Those days I was in night shifts (our shifts use to change after every 4 week) and that was the last week for night shift. One morning I saw a commotion in our generally deserted society compound. My maid told us that a 16 year mentally challenged girl had jumped off from her terrace and had fallen on the balcony of another flat. She died instantly. This all happened in our next door apartment and both the terrace and the balcony can be clearly seen from our balcony.

More information shared by my maid was that the girl was living with her step-mom and father was in Dubai. She had some altercations with her mom and she tried to run away from house in the night around 1 AM. The security guard didn’t allow her to go outside and asked her to go back as he sensed everything is not normal. She hid in the lawn and asked couple of people who were returning from their work to help her to go outside. Finally she crept back to her home and jumped off around 6 AM.

At first, when maid just informed about the suicide, I saw my sister’s face turned pale. She told that last night when she was coming back from office (evening shift ) around 2 AM a girl-not so well dressed – carrying a bag approached her near the lawn and asked for help in fluent English. Smelling it foul, my sister politely refused her to which she smiled and went away. Yes, you guessed it right, my sister was one the two persons who met that unfortunate girl that night. Initially we thought that sis saw some spirit (!!!) after the girl’s death but later when maid narrated the complete story then was able to relate the chain of events.

Anyways it was a Monday and that time I had a Sun-Mon week off. On Tuesday, when both my hubby and sis left for work I went to bed around 5 PM for a couple of hours sleep before night shift. Somehow, I was not able to sleep and thoughts about that girl constantly hovered on my mind. Anyways, went to office with sleepy eyes. On Wednesday, I came back around 9AM. Body was aching and eyes were half closed. Still I managed to cook something and ate it. With the thought that I would compensate the yesterday lack of sleep with more hours today, went to bed. Strangely, I was not able to sleep again. Believe me, it was horrible feeling that every inch of your body is dog-tired and want to sleep but somehow mind is fully awake & alert and not allowing you to sleep. Why my mind was so alert? Felt as if someone is constantly keeping a watch on me. Surprisingly, I didn’t felt it while cooking or watching T.V but only when I tried to sleep.

I discussed this with my hubby over phone and he counseled and tried to boost my morale. I was reluctant to discuss this with others as thought they might make fun of me!! So, I literally dragged myself to office on Wednesday night where my supervisor asked me to go back home as office sick room was under maintenance, but I was scared to go back home. Thursday, again the same thing happened, it was the third day when I had no proper sleep but just few minutes of nap in the office cab. Then in the evening, desperately I called one of my colleagues who stayed in the same society and requested him to let me sleep at his place. I slept for about 3-4 hours there and felt better. From Friday onwards my shift changed and it was quite similar to that of my hubby’s shift so I didn’t have to sleep alone in the house.

Gradually after some time, situation came back to normal. But still I woder what happened to me that time? I generally do not think much about those topics which my logical mind does not support, so cannot comment much about the reason. Might be possible that subconsciously I was thinking too much about that girl therefore while my conscious mind wanted to take rest but sub-conscious one was on thinking mode. Might be it was just a state of mind!! What do you say???

Lost It.....

Being branded as a real “spaced out” person who is always careless or rather forgetful about her belongings is the inspiration of this post. Till now throughout my life, I have lost so many things that now I don’t even remember the actual count. The list includes Tiffin boxes, water bottles, jackets, mufflers/scarf, hair clips/bands, wallet (!), specs, cellphone(s), footwear, pens and not to mention ‘n’ number of hankerchiefs.

Although I have my side of story as well attached to each of these loss but none of them qualify enough to prove me innocent or vigilant.

Tiffin boxes, water bottles: I do not remember anything specifically related to them as it happened in my initial years of school (But…errr you know that morning shows the day!!!).

Jackets, mufflers/scarf: All this kind of stuff I lost during my early school years but one incident I do remember when I lost my jacket. We used to tie the outer most winter wear to our waist in the afternoon as it used to be hot in comparison to morning when we were sent to school packed like a polar bear. While on my home in my rickshaw I slept off and woke up when I reached home. My jacket was not there around the waist…I still believe that somebody managed to pull it off while I was asleep (not my fault…you see!!!)

Hair clips/bands: Again all use less stuff which uses to itch & irk me so much. So it happens like…taking it off…..lies there unnoticed….somebody sneaks it away (again see…not my fault)

Wallet: This happened when I was in my college and I along with my sister went for buying some gifts & sweets for the occasion of Bhai-Duj. I was the pillion rider so all the bags were with me. We bought something at the first shop and then I remember keeping my wallet in my bag (alas…wallet liked the ground more than the bag!!).

Specs: This happened in train as I generally avoid wearing lenses in a train journey but this time as we were going for a wedding ceremony so I decided to be bit glamorous(:-o)by shedding my specs . I forgot my specs hanging from a loop near the berth which I kept there before sleeping and as I woke up late so got ready to deboard the train by quickly by brushing hair & wearing lenses.

Cellphones: I have lost two cell phones till now. Both of them are stolen so now you know what an easy prey I am for the pick -pocketers .First one was my hubby’s camera phone which I was using and victoriously clicking snaps during Durga Puja. Again I clearly remember keeping my phone inside a small pocket of my bag but later found it cut as if by a blade.

Second time I lost my phone on my last birthday when I went shopping to a busy market and was checking my phone often for answering birthday wishes. Somebody simply picked it away from my blazer’s pocket …..You see again, how I can be blamed for another person’s “haathsafai”.

Footwear: This happened when I was about 6-7 years of age. I wore my new shoes in Durga Puja which were obviously pinching thus I took it off while my parents were not noticing and was playing barefoot. Some street smart person took those away (What can I do in this case….??People are always so smarter than me).I was so scared that my mom-dad would scold me so informed my grand mom first. She was such a darling that she took me to the same shop (BATA) and got another pair of same shoes. We spilled the beans in house few days later when was fully convinced that no repercussions would happen.

Pens: After I lost few good ones, I stopped buying expensive ones…Reynolds & rotomac worked fine with me.

There are few items which I lost and also found luckily. Once I forgot my school bag (yes…you read it correct I forgot my school bag in the school….you can doubt my academic qualifications if you want to…I won’t blame you!!!) and then when I realized called the school office which was luckily open as some preparation for inspection was going on and got it secured. Then, I had lost my gold ring and found it later in my strolley bag. I forgot my cellphone twice in the ladies washroom and housekeeping staff returned it back.

Thus this above post clearly portrays how I am blamed for other’s smartness….Isn’t it!!!!!

Dus Bahane....

Handling a team of around 20-22 people was my core job during last 2 years as a team manager. These couple of years taught me lot of amusing things. Starting my role as a novice & confused team leader, I gradually evolved into an effective (..??) team manager who was even able to handle other teams (proxy supervising) along with her own.

I would like to give you a preview of various excuses or alibis I encountered for leave extension, unplanned leaves or in simple words not coming to office. Sometimes these leave request would be genuine one but with sheer experience I was able to bifurcate the fake ones. It used to be a tough call as denying any leaves had its own repercussions ranging from low motivation, emotional attyachar, negativity spread & non-performance.

Let’s have a look at them:

Sick or illness: It can be of self or any family members. The request should be understood as below:

one day off = upset tummy , high or low BP, giddiness             

3-4 days off = viral fever,

at least 15 days = jaundice, typhoid, measles, malaria

A guy of my team (Mr.M) informed me about his fever on phone and also dropped hint that doctor is suspecting typhoid. When I discussed this issue in my team meeting and asked everyone to trim their planned leave request as Mr.M might need bunch of leaves, I came to know that Mr.M was enquiring with many people about the symptoms of typhoid just a couple of days ago when he was perfectly fine (nice homework....)!!!!

Accidents or death: It sounds so heinous to fake this reason for a leave request. But, I even faced this also. One of my team members G had a bagful of imaginary uncles & aunts whom he used to take out of the bag for the sole purpose of their demise and thus asking leave to attend the funeral!!!

Conveyance: This was generally quoted when people were expected back from long leaves and the handy reason put forward that flight, train or bus cancelled or unable to get tickets in any the above mentioned means of transportation. Surprisingly, this crunch situation would arise only while coming back but never at that time when the person was going for the vacations!!!

Weird: All of these happened in reality to either me or my fellow team managers.

·         My room-mate locked the door from outside and left for his office with the keys. Also, friend cannot come back within next 10 hrs.

·         I am couple of pegs down, and would lose my job if I come to office in this state so you have to grant me the leave.

·         Watch out for this one...came from a girl. I have developed rashes all over my body; unable to wear clothes (…!!) She used to be a regular defaulter and similar amusing reasons erupted every alternate week.

Right now, I am not able to recollect more but can bet that there were many more completely whacky excuses which came across me in these 2 years.