Friday, 29 June 2012

Oooops Moment...!!!

As the title suggests this post is going to capture one of the most embarrassing incident of my life ( although I have got lots of these 'Chop-suey' moments in my kitty, but thought of sharing only one at a time).

To make this post more interesting I would also tag few wonderful bloggers by the end of this post in order to extract their 'Ooops moment' through their post.

This happened almost a decade ago while I was in college. I used to hang out in a group ( not from college) and this group included even our siblings. We roamed around on our two-wheelers to movies, exhibitions & trade fairs. One day we planned to watch some movie in cinema hall....mind it, in my home town, there were no multiplexes those days, those were plain cinema- halls which bragged about their (always) dysfunctional invisible air-conditioners!!. 

There were a bunch of three such cinema-halls in Allahabad in one of its congested areas which was quite far -away from our locality.As per our plan, in order to save time everybody would reach directly to that hall which was located in between the other two halls. So, one of the guys ( with whom I was going around that time..) picked me up from my college on his two-wheeler and we headed for the destination. Both of us were not too sure about the location of that hall....just aware of the way to reach that particular area. Mobile phones were not common that time. It was a rainy day and we had planned to watch 12PM show. After reaching that over-crowded locality we lost our way...we were feeling too shy to ask a young guy & a girl riding one vehicle asking directions for a cinema hall in that typically crammed area would invite uncomfortable glances from strange people ( home town mindset was this kind of strange!!).

Anyway, we finally managed to locate that jam-packed lane in which those cinema -halls existed.To avoid the downpour we directly went inside the cinema-hall's campus and halted the vehicle under the shade of the porch of that building. Strangely, none of our friends have reached there although it was almost 12PM. All of a sudden, I noticed that I was the only female standing in that whole campus and almost hundred pair of creepy & uncanny pair of eyes are observing me from top-to-toe!! I told this to my friend who promptly asked me to ignore the stares. But when like almost 10 minutes passed and none of our other friends turned up, we started worrying. By this time, few weird looking guys were almost standing close to us. My friend went towards the gate to look out for our group but came back rushing within a minute with a whacko expression on his face and started his vehicle instantly. He asked me in a hush- hush but peculiar tone to ride on the pillion seat immediately. We moved out of that cinema- hall campus within seconds and  now I realized that instead of entering the second hall we had entered in the first hall which came to our sight in that lane.

Now the CLIMAX!!! When I noticed the name of the film that was screening in that cinema-hall I was appalled. It was some porn movie "Kamsin Kali Ki Pyasi Jawani"!!! Eeeewwwww!!!Both of us forgot to breathe for few minutes and heaved a sigh of relief when we reach the right hall and found our friends. That guy was so nervous that he drank a whole bottle of water. I was embarrassed, and feeling soooo awkward as our younger siblings were also there. We still thank our stars that we haven't entered inside the hall directly or queue up for the tickets of that 'Movie'. 

We still laugh at this incident and SG irritatingly comments that he misses a handicam which could have captured my expressions that time!!!

So now I am tagging the following bloggers..What's you 'Ooops Moment' guys!!:

Zoe's Mom : I know that her blog is dedicated to her toddler only but would love to read her style of writing on this topic.
Green Boochi(GB): I have lots of expectation from you darling!! :-D So start tapping the keyboard instantly.
Sumita: Another mommy blogger but also writes nice stuff about various aspects of life.
Radhika: A young blogger with a nice flair of writing.
R's Mom: One of my favourite blogger whose post I look forward every(week-day) morning!! 
Scribby: Another blogger whose post I have started liking very much. Would love to read a post from you.
Seema: A wonderful blogger who write beautiful posts about her twins. She has been busy lately, so take your time dear!!

Would like if you also pass on this tag to 7 other bloggers and then I can feel that I am not the only one who lands herself in soup often!!

P.S. Please bear with the weird formatting of the post as I changed my template and now struggling to straighten this font colour & font background colour...

Wednesday, 27 June 2012

Parenting & Letting Go...

It has been almost a fortnight that I am out of touch from this blog-world...not exactly out-of-touch as I managed to sneak some time to read blogs flashing my reader but was really dormant about commenting and writing new post. Reason was primarily array of guests in my house. Anyway, all these days my blogging fingers were itching to pen down my thoughts on a topic about which I read some fabulous posts written by my favorite bloggers recently. You can read them here:

Although I want to write so many things about this sensitive topic of parenting but somewhere inside I feel scared & apprehensive as well. I mean I am yet to be aware of my parenting style as Mishti is only a year old. But one thing I am sure about is that my tolerance level to deal with nonsense is quite low. I am not a parenting expert and has my own doubts regarding the various shades of 'Letting Go' in parenting. I would like to quote RM's words here:

If you give too much freedom, the child becomes a brat, if you don't give freedom, the child becomes a recluse. 

Now this is something I dread of. I must admit here that I am kinda 'control freak' but in a different sense. Sometimes I do feel that I tend to influence other's thought process & decisions.....and I do this very convincingly without even offending the other person!!! So, with this trait of mine I always scare of crossing that fine line of 'giving & not giving' freedom to Mishti.

As I write about 'freedom in parenting' here, it remains incomplete if I do not mention the way I & my sis were brought up. My dad defied all our relatives & people around us with his parenting style. We were groomed from very childhood to speak our mind & perceive and experience the world outside with our own eyes. Hand-holding was minimal at our household. But it never meant that we were left alone to go haywire.Although I have to digress from the actual point but would like recall few things which are ingrained inside me.

This incident happened when I was very young (might be about 6-7 years) and I am astonished that how I still remember it. In our town, the 'kabadi wala' ( scrap-dealer) would ferry with his cart in residential by-lanes and buy the clutters from people. To make people aware of their presence they would shout at the top of the voice in a very mechanical tone .."Kabaaaadi wallllee". One day, I was found shouting in the same manner mockingly. Immediately I was called by my dad who asked me to stop that nonsense and then explained me how that person is doing it for his we should not look down any profession...and how "koi kaam chhota nahin hota".

In my home, we (me & my sis) never ever vent out our anger on food. It was unimaginable for us to skip meals to blackmail parents to make them succumb to any of our demands. 

It was so nicely inculcated by my parents to not to form any opinion about something or somebody with other's version. Like many other family even they had their difference of opinion with some of the relatives but we kids, were never taught to disrespect them by painting a negative image of  theirs. We grew up and understood ourselves that who is what!

My dad has been blamed with giving too much freedom to his daughters which everybody felt would result in  a spoilt set of of 'loose sisters'. But to people's dismay we faired well than those who were kept protected and sheltered always. I am really thankful to my parents for bringing us up giving enough freedom and let us learn from our experiences.Few times I felt really bad like when I had to go all alone to the cycle-shop to get it mended or when I had stand in the long-queue of my college to deposit the fees while parents of other girls of my age did these chores themselves, but now I realise how much these small experiences helped me in developing my personality.

Anyway, coming back to the topic. I am not very sure about this 'letting go' thing....but one thing I am sure that I want Mishti to be self reliant and would try my best to help her in that. One of my friend stayed with me for few days lately with her two kids ( aged 10 years & 4 months respectively). Now this elder one was brought up in her maternal grand parent's place till she was 5 years old. This kid was the worst case of 'picky eater' I have ever seen. She took more than 1.5 hours to finish her each meal and would chew only when her mom would mix the food for her. Her mom would brag how this kid frowns if the lunch menu is normal Dal-Rice - Veggies and how she tries her best to vary the menu everyday with idlis/pasta/dosa/pav-bhaji. I know it is too early for me to comment on this situation as I am yet to experience the kids of similar age in my household. But somehow, I am not very comfortable with this situation. For me, I can prepare all these stuffs once in a while or might be in breakfast/snack but they can never be traded with proper lunch.I also found the kid munching on some chips packet just before dinner and yes she literally struggled to finish her dinner. My friend & her kid offered those chips to Mishti as well which I politely refused and found my friend make a pity face for Mishti (as if Bechaari Mishti ...she got a tyrant mom who deprives her from the tasty foods of this world!!!).

On the other hand, as I take Mishti to the housing -complex lawn in evening and let her play with other kids, sometimes she rolls on the grass..which I let her do or even some other kid of same age group try to play with her (mind it...their playing includes sudden hugging or mild pushing or pulling other's dress) , I let her play that till the time it is safe. There are many ladies who act as referee for their kids or just ferry them in lap to avoid rolly-polly on grass!! I know, I am criticized behind my back about my parenting style. While they discuss how they managed to force feed their kids I simply keep myself out of discussion as I disapprove this  force feeding and generally start eating my lunch if Mishti is creating too much fuss with her food...and believe me, 90% of times she comes back and has her food with me. They think about me as quite 'Chillax' kind of mom!! 

However, at times now I have started showing off my 'disciplinarian' avatar. Mishti has already started throwing tantrums and shrieking & crying loud to get her demands fulfilled. That day, when my friend was still at my place Mishti behaved this way. My sis took out a bottle from refrigerator and Mishti wanted sis poured some water in her sipper and gave her but she started shrieking to get that bottle. My friend asked my sis to give it to her for sometime as she would get distracted soon to something else....but I intervened and kept back that bottle in refrigerator. Mishti continued howling and crying but I did not complied to her 'Zid'.

I feel that we cannot let the kid get away with their will as she is too young. We just cannot get up some day and start with our discipline has to be there from the beginning to avoid sending confusing signals to the child.

Concluding my post with some nice words by Scribby :

So, push or pull or both in balance,what you do with your child really matters in the long run and the learning starts from parents,so there!

Thursday, 14 June 2012

Darlings of Earth...!!

Re-blogged from my post published in 'Darlings of Venus'.

What comes in your mind when in you hear the below mentioned incidents? Like when we hear any crime news  in some 'breaking news' channel, most of us has somewhere in our mind that it doesn't happens in our social circle. Read this:

Incident 1: A mother who delivered her baby 7 months back and has been working in a MNC prior to her delivery has to stay back at her parents' house. Her husband has visited her only twice and MIL once post delivery even if the distance between two places is within 30 Kms. All the expenses of delivery and post that is taken care by the parents of the girl as her own salary/savings account is controlled solely by her husband who happens to be a well known orthopaedic surgeon. They made her and her new born feel uncomfortable & unwelcome in all possible ways. Should I have to mention here that new born is a girl!!!

Incident 2: A single mother who works in a bank is beaten black & blue by her brother. He along with his family members justifies this action as an action he did to discipline (!!) his sister. As per him just because she is earning and has 'no man' in her life to control her therefore he obliged to volunteer for taking up the task of controlling her.

Incident 3: A hearing-speech impaired girl is married off to some person (hiding the truth) by her family members. Obviously they find out & send back the girl to her parent's place while she was pregnant. Her husband was furious that girl's parents have fooled him by passing on a 'defective piece'. Her kid was born at her parent's place and she takes care of her baby whole day. After 3 years, husband comes back and offers to take her back. However he seems not interested in taking responsibility of the kid. Her parents again bundle her up with him and keep the kid with them. They are happy now that their girl is 'accepted' by her husband but completely ignore the pitiable mental condition of the girl who was estranged from her 3 year old.

I am not reading out any newspaper to you. I know all these families and couple of them are even so-called 'well educated'. They stay in this millennium city in up market areas. But how that education or their residential location does make any difference to their Neanderthal mindset and thought process. The XX chromosome is always unwelcome in their families. They want the wholesome control on the women folk of their life. This baton of control is passed on to another man by the institution called 'marriage'. Since childhood she is conditioned to surrender her lever of control to the man of her can be grandfather, father, brother, husband,FIL, BIL, son. Independent thinking, decision making, taking control of her own life are considered a sin for her. Her conditioning make her believe that she is ought to be treated this way and thus even a women also reinforces this biased fact to her children.

While the hate groups of Amir Khan increases manifold after he took up to discuss sensitive topics through 'Satyamev Jayate', can we still choose to behave like 'ostriches in storm'. Amir is not showing something new or bizarre, these are naked truth which lies beneath the various layers of our society. As an individual, we can stand against any discrimination by passing on the right mindset to at least one person or make a difference to at least one life around us. I start this trend by bringing up my daughter with right attitude and groom her to become an independent individual devoid of any gender stereotype...What about you??

Looking forward for that day when all "Darlings of Venus" would also become "Darlings of Earth" in true sense :-D

Wednesday, 13 June 2012

Mishti's Birthday Bash....

Although it is more than 12 days now that we have celebrated Mishti's first birthday, but I think it is still not too late to do a post on her birthday celebrations.

Anyway, the fun time started a week before her birthday when her Dadu-Dida (my parents) came down for  the celebrations with bundle of gifts sent by our other relatives in Allahabad. So, this girl got some cash and a   nice pull-along toy ( a big turtle with an umbrella) along with few dresses bought by her Dida. Mishti instantly started pulling the umbrella instead of the string!!!

That week of fun flew away quickly. Me & my sis had long discussion on what should Mishti wear for her party? With her ability to manhandle things easily, we were not willing to let her wear some frilly, lacey party frock which would look crazy out with all roses & strings pulled out within 15 minutes of Mishti wearing it!!. Her Thamma ( my MIL) had sent a nice denim frock but that was bit tight so we went for shopping again :-)
Bought a comfortable short-top kind of dress with least decorations.

On 1st June(her birthday) morning, we went to  Delhi Kali-bari with Mishti . It was sooo hot & humid that we all felt as if we are 'boiled eggs'.

Mishti in Kali-Bari

While on our way back to home we had a nice surprise. My MIL called and said she is waiting for us at the housing complex gate!!! Ohh....she had earlier expressed her health problems as reason for her absence in the party. But like a small kid she wanted to surprise us got the tickets booked in Tatkal and landed directly at our place.

Although we were quite late but still I managed to prepare decent special lunch for Mishti with the help of my mom. For the first time in my life I felt so contented as I present the grand lunch to her.

Mishti was so surprised to see that plate!!!

Truly Bong hmmm!!!

As we had scheduled the party next day i.e 2nd of June so Mishti's Dadu took out for a grand dinner. We all went to a local restaurant which is famous for its 'sizzlers'. Mishti tasted the food and happily looked forward for another bite. After grand food & ice-cream we came back home almost at mid night.

Next day morning it was all chaos at home. First we banged our head at the website of Indian railways to get an instant return ticket for my MIL.When we failed to get any confirm ticket, we booked that available 'waiting list' ticket in the same train in which my parents were going back next day. Now after spending lot of time on the discussion that whether we would go out to have lunch or not, finally it was decided to split into groups. First group included Me, SG , my mom & my MIL would go out, do some shopping & eat lunch in some outside eatery. My sis, my dad & Mishti preferred to stay at home with home-cooked lunch to avoid the scorching heat.

After coming back at around 3:30 PM (that too when we kind of dragged my MIL back from shopping...I told you, she is indeed a kid :-) ), we tried to rest a bit. By 5PM SG was after everyone's life to get ready as we need to reach the venue by 7PM being a host.

After much hotch-potch & utter chaos, we managed to reach the venue by 7:15 PM. We have planned a big party as it would have been the first function on behalf of Mishti. 'Angry Bird' cake reached the venue on time. Our guest started dropping in soon. Although many people disappointed us with their absence but still the guest list went up to almost 60.

Angry-Bird Cake...

Mishti was so happy...she was almost screaming with delight. While the magician performed his feat, Mishti was his morale booster who shrieked & screamed at all his acts. I was very skeptical about Mishti's mood for that she might get cranky seeing so many people. But this girl has inherited her parents' social genes. Like a social butterfly, she crawled all over the place, tried to walk few steps, went everyone's lap who picked her up. She even tried to detach their eyes & nose and scratched their face while bursting into giggles while try to move away their face from her.

First Cake bite from Daddy ..while Mamma & Dadu looking at the celebrity

The snacks & food were good. Due to boiling summers, two drinks - Aam Panaa & Jaljeera were instant hit. After all the celebrations we came back home late at night loaded with gifts. Even after coming home, Mishti managed to continue her exclusive show for another hour and then I forcefully put her to sleep.

Monday, 11 June 2012

Hectic weekend...


Woke up early with a bad mood as had a fight with SG last night.

Mood temperature lowered as SG woke up and was able to 'manao' me.

Prepared vermicelli for breakfast & Rajma-Rice for lunch well on time and surprisingly both turned out yummy.

Spent the afternoon reading a book with an eye still fixed on Mishti who continued her rampage spree throughout the afternoon.

In evening got ready to attend an informal dinner at a friend's place.

Had a great time at their place while Mishti went berserk playing with their 4 year old kid T. The friend couple were nice enough to keep our li'l menace engaged while we finish our dinner( Naan, Mutton Keema, Chicken Roast).

Mishti loved the dessert which was strawberry ice cream with Kiwi syrup. Also she was awake whole evening and missed her regular evening nap, but was NOT AT ALL CRANKY!!!!

Came back home late, retired to bed and finished that book.


Woke up bit late with a bad news. Alphi- the pet dog of kid T died late night. Although I had never seen that dog but had heard a lot of him from that kid who was too attached to his pet. Alphi was kept with a care-taker for the last evening because we were invited for dinner. Their place is bit small so they did not wanted to bother the dog as well as guests. There, due to that care-taker negligence Alphi ate something not meant for him and died vomiting a lot. Some how, I felt guilty.

Went for Mishti's Vaccination shots. Mishti cried a bit but was Okay soon.

Had lunch at famous 'OM Sweets'. Mishti had her share from my veg-tahli as wells as SG's Rava Onion Dosa.

Came back home and slept gain for an hour.

Went to buy veggies & groceries with SG and we managed to buy all the items without arguing even once!!

Came back home and got ready for dinner at SG's ex-boss's place.

Had a nice time with those folks. Mishti tried to bully another kid of 2 years who was a guest there. Both of them tried to play with each other but ended up pulling & scratching one another.

We had to finish our dinner( Roti, Bhindi fry, Chholey, chicken biriyani & fruit cream) fast as Mishti got cranky. She refused to eat anything but the boss's mom still manged to feed her some curd. After dinner we all went to nearby park for walk. headed back home with a half-sleepy Mishti.

Retired to bed after sharing some gossips with my sis.

So this was my  weekend loaded with food & activities which got over so quickly.

Tuesday, 5 June 2012

Am I Scary???

Am I Scary???

This is something which I am asking myself lately. Why???.....In last few days, it happened more than once that Mishti woke up from her sleep whimpering, then clung to her daddy and the moment I try to pacify her, she starts shrieking her lungs out.

Both the times it happened in early morning. Usually, me & Mishti are still in our sleep while SG gets ready for office early morning But that day, she was whimpering in her sleep. As I tried to put the milk bottle in her mouth, she woke up, looked at me, started howling and moved away from me. SG quickly picked her up and tried to feed her. She stopped crying hugged him and lied in his lap with her eyes closed. As the situation was under control, I silently picked her up because SG was getting late for office. She again started howling and stuck to SG. So, now SG has to put her to sleep. She slept and when she woke up later on her usual time, she was fine...giggling & playing with me!!

Second time also similar thing happened. This time my dad came to rescue SG. After a bit of tug-o-war, my dad managed to take her away in balcony to divert her attention. Alas, this time also, she was screaming seeing me.

My mom said, she might have some bad dreams in her sleep therefore, she was so scared. SG says I should go slow in 'disciplinarian' avatar as Mishti is getting scared of me. I am confused. Otherwise throughout the day, she is okay with my presence...plays with me, clings to me, read with me. Might be this is just a phase of Mishti growing up as a toddler.

Friday, 1 June 2012

Happy Birthday Mishti....

Mishtuuuu, Mishtiiiii, Mithai....You turn a year old today. You are a perfect case of  'planned baby'...we like some meticulous parents even planned your date of birth! You never troubled me during the pregnancy or even with labour pains. I still remember the sudden cease of contracting pain with you popping out . Next moment I was asking doctor "Kya hua, Kya hua" and when doctor said "wait wait...let the baby cry first" my heart just stopped beating for that moment. I literally felt the oxygen back to my lungs as I faintly saw the ped patting your back - your waaaaaaaaannnnnn - my doctor saying 'It's a girl'.

This one is one of the initial snaps taken by her mashu who treats Mishti as some celebrity!!

For first few days, I was clueless and confused about my emotions....It was all muzzled up...happy, sad, worry, anxiety, pride, scared. Honestly baby, I never felt mushy or cuddly when I first took you in my arms....but i realized what you mean to me on 4th June when you had to be admitted in hospital for your excess bilirubin count. When they said that you would be there in the NICU for 24 hrs all heart ached. I literally pleaded to them to allow me to sit in the reception for those 24 hrs....which they didn't. I was not able to control my tears on my way back home. However, next morning we saw you from outside the glass taking UV ray bath with a eye-mask and kicking the walls of the glass box like a "Dabang Chhori".

Pic courtesy: Mishti's Techno-Mamu ( my cousin)

You taught me so many things while you climb up with your milestone ladder. Like I said, you never troubled me hard. You were like 'fill my tummy & check my diapers regularly - I would never bother you guys'. You took your own time in everything. We were about to send mails to Guinness Book of records when you turned on your tummy before you were 2.5 months old. We also thought of taking you to ped when your head was still wobbly and when you never tried to sit unassisted till your 8th month.We worried when you struggled to make your body posture comfortable for crawling and soon we were amazed when we saw you crawling so fast as if you were in F1 track. We never realized how easily your teeth popped out without any teething symptoms ( You have 6 teeth now). But sooner or later we realized that all these would be an integral part of baby mile-stones and we have to relax and take a chill-pill!!!

You are a MOODY eater Mishtu. I don't understand why do you make it so difficult for yourself & Mamma? I never force-feed you, Do I?...and because of that you make me feel guilty that I am not caring enough for you. Some days you gobble everything that is given to you while some other days you just refuse to open your mouth. You love to take your share from our plates even if it is spicy.  Lately you have graduated to the normal food what we eat.

You just love music. You keep yourself glued to watch any peppy songs. Now you also sway your hand & shake upper part of your body as you watch any of your favourite songs or if we say "Nache nache" ( as taught by your dida).

You are able to stand on your own and cruise throughout the house to find anything which you can pull down with your super-grip. You know Mishtu, couple of days back I have even noticed you taking few independent baby steps but never told anyone ... because I know you would never show this feat to them on let them find out on their own!!!

Mishti...I love the way you rush towards me if anybody cuddles me saying "Amar Mamma". It makes me feel so important. I love it when you put your hand forward for hand-shake if anybody says 'Hi Ishaani...' to you with extended hands.....just because I taught you this!! I love when you burst into giggles with any of our silly games and never feel tired to repeat it again and again. I cannot hide my smile when you show me your index finger when I say 'NO' to you. I love the way you frown & arch your eye-brows like your dad!!

Now a days you have also learnt to throw some tantrums and let everybody know about likes & dislikes on the drop of the hat. You also babble a lot and try to communicate & sing with others in their tone....Like mother-like daughter.
Earlier I thought , I would write to you on your first birthday what I want for you in life ...but as this post is simply about you and not me therefore would cover it is separate post.
Amar Bachha...Happy Birthday to you dear....wish loads & loads of happiness & fun for you . May GOD bless you with a healthy, safe, secure & happy life.

Love U Shona....Keep smiling like this.

12 pics- each for every month