I am Hating this....!!!

Yeah...I am hating this winters like crazy.Ufff...it is so chilly here in Gurgaon.Since last four days, even Sun is also sleeping under his blanket. My whole drawing room is looking like a Dhobi-Ghat where all sorts of semi-wet clothes are dangling on every possible piece of  furniture. You see...semi wet clothes decorating the room as the wet ones waiting in queue for last couple of days in balcony. 

Born in December, I am supposed to be a winter baby (who the hell took this logic out of his/her great mind!!!!). I do not exactly remember about my preference for any season while I was a kid, but once when one of my aunt asked  I did said "WINTERS" as doing homework under the big "Rajai"( big blanket with stuffed cotton) and hideously coloring you drawing book while everyone else assumes you are studying was great fun.

However later I felt summers are better as you get more play time than winters (Those days we were allowed to play outside till it is dark...and obviously sunset is late in summers). Although in winters after coming back from school in afternoon we got the leverage to play around while all mothers finish their knitting in some terrace or nearby park under the sun.

Then in teens, I started liking "winters' again. We used to go to school cycling and summer sun caused a lot of tanning to us (He He..beautiful skin attacked by scorching sun). Those days, as school girls we were unaware about the concept of sun-block lotions, SPF, etc. The only aid which was used were cotton gloves which covered our arms only till just above the elbow, so, the skin colour of your arms would look like somewhat that colourmeter strip they show in fairness cream advertisement....dark but not so tanned till above elbow, tanned till the sleeves of the half -sleeve school shirts and then your own skin colour above that!!!

But now, these winters are killing me. When most of your daily chores involves water (remember I am Mishti's Mom who is 7months old) it seems like some kind of painful punishment. I do not understand when these news papers say its two degree more today or the maximum was this and minimum that yesterday ...the only thing I feel is chiiiiilling cold all the time.

As if this horrible cold is not enough that we have this 'What The F' (F= Fog). The fog blanket is really horrendous in Gurgaon where till last year I do remember getting lost multiple times while coming back from office at odd hours. Transport services are at the receiving end of this fog. Trains cancelled, flights delayed, office cabs not making on time...the list is long. Imagine waiting for the office cab for three hours post your office shift timings in this weather!!!
I do remember this funny incident when year before last we were waiting for cabs and it was horrible mess in the transport area (area from where cabs departed for their destination).There was huge shortage of cabs as the cabs who went for staff pick-ups did not returned due to dense fog.After waiting for almost three hours, we literally "gheraoed' the Transport officials. Due to this they hurriedly packed us ( around 8 people from our area) in a cab whose driver was sleeping of to his glory. We started from office and reached the highway with that grumbling driver who was visibly upset because of waken up from his sleep.The fog was at zero visbility mode when suddenly we realized that he had not switched on the headlight of that "Tata Sumo". We asked him politely to do so which he ignored. Then after all of us made multiple requests, he shouted back in his dialect "Madam ji, marne ka shauk manne bhi na hai, je gaddi mein lite hoti to kabka jalaya hota....lite tooti hai" ( Madam, even I do not want to die, if this cab had head lights, I would have switched it on...it's broken). So, now we all tried hard to remind GOD of our good deeds to help us to reach home safely!!

Now even I am feeling my fingers are jammed ....Winters, winters, why don't you just go away!!!

Koi Baat Nahin…Lakshmi Aayi hai!!!!

I thought writing this post few months back(lazy me can be blamed) but R's Mom post really charged me up and compelled me to blurt out my experience. Thanks RM.

Koi Baat Nahin…Lakshmi Aayi hai!!!!(Translation: Nothing to worry…Goddess Lakshmi (Goddess of wealth) has arrived)

This is one common line which I heard from couple of people when Mishti was born. However, not to mention that their tone never had that excitement if in real Goddess of wealth had arrived with a big gunny bag of gold & diamonds!!

The consolation in most of the people’s tone was quite audible. Sorry to say but like reading between the lines sometimes you can hear beyond the lines. Few smart ones quickly said “It doesn’t matter it is a boy or a girl, just a hale & hearty baby”. and they are smart ones to alter their original comments because of my ‘firebrand’(!!) nature but forget to wipe the consolation in their tone.

One of my elderly relative said 'Ohhhh (I am stressing on this big Ohhh)….daughters bring good luck to family'. Excuse me…if I had given birth to a son then why would have his ‘luck quotient’ had been lesser???

When I was in my 2^nd trimester, there were two or three more female colleagues who were expecting. So we used to have our group discussion forum on maternity issues anytime, anywhere…J. Few other female colleagues (generally moms) would also join us. One day, a mom to a 2 year old brought a fun test (a questionnaire kind of list which asks whether you like to eat sweet or salty food, which side of your tummy the baby has more movements…) to decide the gender of the unborn baby. All of us took the test for fun. After an hour I found one of the preggo ladies crying in the washroom. When I asked she told me that how mean of that other lady who deliberately twisted the test and told her it’s a girl!!! I got so irked that I sarcastically said that she can very well exchange her result with mine( I got the result that it’s a boy) and barged out of the restroom. Imagine an educated lady, working in a MNC crying because someone told her she would a mother to a girl….horrible!!!!

She had told me later that how her SIL (a MBA, mother of a male child) says that at least the first child should be a boy so that her importance in her household is maintained. I felt she was also quite convinced with this logic!!!

Another really weird viewpoint I heard when one of my close relative told me that if my genes overshadows my hubby’s genes then it would be a girl  ( we are two sisters only, no brothers  and my hubby has a young brother, no sisters)and vice versa. What a twisted genetic theorem…..I really felt like taking out my notepad & pen and explaining her complete XX & XY chromosome theory!!!!

Some futuristic people advised me to start saving money for my girl. When I asked snapped them if it had been a boy then a saving was not needed, they few got the drift and changed the topic to “money is nowadays such a necessity for better upbringing of a child”.

I really fail to understand why there is crazy attitude to have a son. Might be I won’t ever experience it as my parents never injected this fact that I have done some crime being a girl. We are two sisters and my parents never yearned for a son. When I was pregnant I read the news of a newborn girl killed by her mother in some village, I literally begged to Almighty that “please if a baby boy is in my womb exchange it to someone’s girl who are crazy for a son” (You see…pregnancy hormones were elevated at their best that time…J!!!!)

Jokes apart, I really feel sorry for these people. Some traits are injected so deeply that even high education cannot wash it. Another very common term I had heard that “Ye meri beti nahi beta hai (She is not a daughter but a son to me). This again turns me off. Why can’t we accept our girls as simple human daughters without labeling them as Goddess, good/bad luck charm or a son? Why any daughter has to prove their mettle by camouflaging as a son?

But I had saved the best for the last: My girl is fairer as compared to me and my hubby. So one of the elderly relative told me that “Good she is fair….you won’t face any difficulty while searching a match for her” Damn…Give me a break!!!

Touching Feet - indeed a touchy issue for me!

Here is my take on an age old custom – touching one’s feet for seeking blessings. Being born in a Bengali Hindu family this is something taught to us as basic values (it is an important part of ‘Sanskar’). This custom has different versions to it depending upon its geographical locations…like in Bengal & Assam you have to bend down touch both the feet with your right hand and then touch your forehead. In Northern belt, you can touch the knees and then touch your forehead.

My understanding says this custom is an interpretation of regardless respect for an individual which means that even the dirt of his/her feet is so valuable and pious that you can smear your forehead with it( In Bengali it is known as ‘payer dhulo mathaye newa’ or in Hindi it is ‘Pairon ki Dhool mathey se lagana’). I am not sure about the origin of this practice and I am not going to Google for it. My motive is not to write an essay on touching feet custom but just to highlight the senseless logic behind it. I know many people would digress but this is my opinion and anybody can disagree to it.

This custom is actually a part of every Bengali custom. Few of them are:

• Dashami of Durga Puja (tenth & last day of Navratri) would conclude with this ritual which is an integral part of Bijoya Dashami celebrations when you have to touch all the elders’ feet.
• Marriage ceremony concludes with this ritual when you have to touch all the elders’ feet including your newlywed husband as a mark of respect.
• Bhai-Phonta (A festival when sisters pray and celebrate it for long life of their brothers) also includes touching feet of the elder one by the younger one.
• First day of Bengali New Year starts with touching all the elders’ feet to seek blessings.

This ritual might had made sense in earlier times but in today’s’ scenario it is completely baseless. What kind of special blessing can you receive if you touch anyone’s feet or shoes /sandals /slippers (nowadays most of the people are wearing footwear all the time unlike ancient sadhus!!!). As a kid I really hated this unhygienic part….imagine an uncle of yours is leaving for another city and you went to say him good-bye to the railway station…just before the train moves on you have complete this action to gather the best blessings …obviously he is wearing his shoes that time.

I fail to understand that if I do not touch my elder’s feet, does that makes me less respectful towards them? Those who want to bless me won’t shower it if I just bow down or do a plain ‘Namaste’ (folding hands, joining your palms to greet anybody).  

One more aspect to it which I came to know that when a Bengali Brahmin boy has his thread ceremony (‘Poitey’) after that he is not required to touch anyone’s feet except any elderly person who is Brahmin only. This happened years ago when one of our acquaintance boy who was younger to me stopped touching my grandparents feet even for Bijoya Dashami after his “Poitey” (FYI: We are Kayasthas- not Brahmins). What a hypocritical interpretation, as this Poitey certifies a young lad as Brahmin therefore everyone else is now belittled in front of his newly acquired Brahminism.

I still remember when just a couple of days after my marriage it was SG’s cousin’s marriage and I had to touch everyone’s feet (elders’ feet obviously…special instruction was given to me not to exempt anyone as this might cause a rift showing my less respect for that person). Believe me…I didn’t even looked at few faces as I was too busy in showing the ‘respect’. In this process I even touched feet of one of the distant relative of SG who was of same age as mine….she felt really bad as if I was trying to hide my age and prove myself younger to her ( you see many people are quite touchy about this age issue!!!).

So as per me, only few plus points of this custom are:

You can prove yourself young to other person.

Good exercise for deflating your tummy.

You can check out other person’s footwear very closely……eeeeekkk!!!

Jokes apart, I wonder how any particular custom like this can measure the magnitude of respect for any individual? I can very well touch someone’s feet with zero respect for him/her in my heart. Might be I am thinking as one-eyed deer, so if you think differently, I would like to hear your thoughts as well.

Ye to Ibtida hai......

Actual date of this post is 6th Jan, 2012.

So Mishti had her first fall today. I went to answer the nature's call and she was lying on the couch appropriately shielded by 3-4 cushions. Suddenly heard a loud cry and rushed to see that she was on floor alongwith a cushin and entagled in a shawl. Immidiately picked her up nad tried to find any visible wounds....no, nothing was there....by this time Mishti has started her usual giggle sessions. So, learning for the day, now put Mishti on a play mat whenever going out of her sight.

I know these falls & accidents are a part of her growing up but still felt guilty (can't the nature's call be answered while she was sleeping....wish human body could have been proggrammed!!!).

While sleeping as well Mishti tends to move like the hands of the clock and many times I wake up with her constant kicks on my face.

She has also achieved her milestone of sitting without support. Thus, now she enjoys all the "filmi" songs on MTV & 9XM sitting upright and moving her body to the tune.

Her "Dida" (my mom) got Payal for her.

                                

Mishti with her first hair accessories

                     

Check out her new shoes for New year party

P.S. The title of this post means this is just the beginning.....



Recapture of 2011...

(Warning: Long post ahead. Also, this is late as I thought of posting it before 1st Jan, 2012.)

So when everyone is either busy in welcoming the New Year or bidding adieu to 2011, I thought of re capturing this year in monthly format.

2011 is one of the important years of my life…..my Mishti is born this year!!  So physically, psychologically & socially it has been an evolving year which brought so many changes in all spheres of my life.

2011

January started with really annoying petty issues about which might be someday I would be able to blog. As I was expecting Mishti that time so on 17^th we went to Kali-Bari (Goddess Kali temple) for my “Panchamrit “ritual. I was fed by the priest the Prasad made up of five pious (high caloric..!!) items like Ghee etc.

February was pretty cool month. Only once I had to rush to doctor other than my regular check up when I was in office and it started spotting. I called SG and informed my boss about my emergency. We rushed to the doctor for a scan and everything came out to be normal…what a relief! (We even had burger while on our way back….:-))

March was although quite non-happening in personal sphere but my professional environment was going through lots of changes. Too many rumors were floating around regarding some big changes in the organization and specifically in our department.

April begun with our visit to Allahabad for my “Saadh” ceremony (baby shower). This is a ritual where mother or mother –in-law treats the would-be mom with lots of delicacies and showers gifts. I was bit tensed in the back of my mind as I was travelling in my 7^th month with a huge tummy.

May was my 8^th month of pregnancy. I was still going to work regularly. I was completely fine but only felt like hitting few people for poking their nose in my life. Also, this month as my 9^th month started, my mom came and she stayed till August (big hug to her).

June arrived with the delivery of my baby the first day of the month. After that, really my world changed. First few days, I was not sure how to react or handle the feelings.

July onwards my life became quite predictable. Crying & mood swings happened lot many times (let’s blame it on post-delivery depression…).

August was quite similar to July. By end of this month I unwillingly headed towards Allahabad for two months stay. Yeah…this is month when I wrote my first blog.

September was kind of depressing month. I got framed!!! Wish I could blog about it… L.The only silver lining was SG got a new job in a desirable role & designation. Ohh…yes, By 20^th We came back to Gurgaon and was hit with mild dengue which triggered some weird things in my blood which gifted me joint pains which is with me till today.

October started with Durga Puja and we enjoyed a lot with Mishti tagged along with. My litmus test period had already started as I was handling Mishti all alone (no nanny as well).

November was our anniversary month. We celebrated with family and friends in a local restaurant. On personal front it was quite lean month. I was juggling with taking care of Mishti & house hold work.

P.S. I wrote maximum number of blogs this month…J

December was my birth month, so celebrate karna to banta hai…….. My parents visited us thus had a wonderful time with my family. Also, for few days, I didn’t have to worry about Mishti as my mom & sis was around all the time…J

I was quite struggling to write this blog as there were so many things which I am not able to recollect properly and also other things about which I want to write a lot. But still I managed to finish this post as this is the only way to record events of 2011.

I start New Year with no resolutions as I feel bonded with these things. Just few things which I want to apply to my life sincerely:

Write blogs regularly as this is only way of utilizing my “ME” time.

Be more organized, if necessary start using notebooks to remember all the small things I forget like giving electricity bill cheque on time, booking gas,…etc(list is long).

Continue doing the fantabulous (!!!) task of handling Mishti. Yes…I am confident that I am trying to be an excellent mom so would continue that.

There might be few more things which I would like to do in this 2012 but would add them eventually.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL....HAPPY BLOGGING TO ME..:-)

Happy Birthday to me.....

Last 19th it was my 31^st birthday. This year we have celebrated it on 17^th (being 19^th a Monday, my practical hubby threw the party on Saturday so that nobody’s daily routine is disturbed). So, on 19^th as the temperature outside was 1.8 degrees, a lazy sloth like me spent the day in the house only.

This chilling winter is one thing which I really hate about my birthday. Ohh gosh…I still wonder how my mom had managed to make me wear winterwears when I was just born!!!!!.

Anyways, as in this post I am going to rant about my various memories related to my birthday, so let me start with the most exciting part of any birthday, i.e. gifts. Alas….80% of my birthday gifts are winter wears.  One birthday gift I do remember when I got a combo of 12 board games in one pack (Chinese checkers, zoologic etc…) as gift from my parents on my 10^th or 11^th birthday. My dad played a prank while giving it to me. He called me and started scolding me saying one of my neighbors had complained that I hit her. He asked me to stand in a corner and then suddenly placed this game pack in my hand…..ohhhh I was so thrilled.

As every year this day falls during the winter vacation thus invariably I have missed that experience where you go to school in a new dress other than school uniform (kids used to do that time), distribute toffees, gather greeting cards and get exempted from all the scoldings!!!

We never had lavish birthday parties as kids but yes it was celebrated in quite a homely way. On my 8^th or 9^th birthday we went out for dinner (me, my parents, grandparents & sis). I do remember this as those days eating out was not at all common like today.

When I grew up, birthday was celebrated with few friends for dinner at home when mom would cook variety of delicacies.  One incident I remember, it was the year 2002, as my dadu (grand-dad) died the same year, so we decided not to call any friends for dinner. However, my mom still cooked few items (like payes (kheer), macher chop (fish cutlets) etc. as she anticipated that my friends would visit me for giving gifts (and obviously wishing birthday). She was right, few close friends visited with gifts and we were enjoying the food when one of our neighborhood lady visited our place (She was of a kind who loved to poke her nose in other’s life and spread juicy news about it…!!!!). Next day, she duly informed all my other friends in the locality (who did not visited yesterday) that I had a secret party at my place where I did not invited them purposely!!!!

Another birthday, two of my friends (one is my hubby now) got two big cakes as gifts. So we ate only cake for breakfast for next three-four days…!!!

One one of birthday I was quite upset with my ex-BF as he gave me a contributed gift (when few of your friends contribute money and get a common expensive gift). My expectation was that atleast he could have used some of his mind's energy to get something exclusive for me....:-)

After marriage, my hubby has ensured to throw a party every year on that day. Not a very grand one, but few of our local friends and cousins were invited for drinks & food.

Last year I lost my phone on my birthday...!!!!But I would say GOD is great as it's being my birthday & also as I was expecting Mishti nobody(people like my hubby or my dad) scolded me.

This year my birthday was significant as I discovered one white hair…!!! on my scalp…it’s my first one!!!
Getting old….huh!!! I would have my thirties rocking the same way as my previous decades.

What's goin on??

Do you remember the song of ‘Salaam-Namaste’ which says “Poune barah baje, dono ghar se chale….What’s goin on”. So last Thursday, Mishti’s parents recreated the same song but obviously the mood was completely different (coz life is not a Hindi movie….!!). Let me start from the beginning.

1^st Dec was one of those happening days. When I say happening don’t run your imaginations wild, for a SAHM, baby puking thrice for the first time is quite disturbing and happening. Also, I am bit jinxed about a stupid issue. My date of birth is 19^th. If you add 1+9 = 10;1+0=1, so as per numerology my number is 1. I feel that all those days which eventually are number 1 are generally happening for me. I mean to say dates like 1,10,19 & 28 are those days of month when something happens which is other than normal routine!!(Do not laugh, at least not on my face). I mentioned before that it is a stupid issue, there are many important events of my life which does not happened on these days, e.g. my marriage (is it not happening enough???), my first job(???), so consider it as a funny superstition!!.

Anyways, coming back to the context, Mishti puked thrice on that day so I worriedly called SG (hubby) in office. He came home early and took us to the doctor. It was nothing serious as the Doc said so we came back in the evening. When I was preparing formula milk for her in night, I suddenly realized that Lactogen is about to finish….!!!. What about her midnight feeds? So now the inevitable blame game started.

My story: I have told SG last three days to get this Lactogen. First day he ignored, second day he had an office event so came back late in the night and third day we were more concerned about the puking issue so forgot!! He blamed me that if he didn’t get it on first day why I never pointed out? Honestly, it slipped out of my mind as well.

SG’s story: I know she told me three days about it but if she can remember all the days and issues of our fights which happened long back then why can’t she remember to remind me about this? Last day she should have mentioned it strongly that it’s gonna finish!!!

So I have decided that from next time I would dance a bit and then remind SG if something has to be bought on priority…he might get the importance of issue then. (Any ways, did someone notice how  my side of story looks more convincing , isn’t it??. So what, this is my blog…this much leverage I can take…right!!!). We explored the option of giving her normal milk in a dilute form but then this would be the first time for her to have something other than her formula milk. We were apprehensive and ruled out the idea. (and also if it does not suit her system then again this blame game would start..Let’s play safe!!)

So at 11:45 PM after a bad arguement we went out to get the Lactogen. It was like Obama & Osama sitting in the same car and looking out for something!!! Finally, got that thing in a nearby (about 6 km) hospital’s pharmacy. Now you understand why I said "Poune barah baje, dono ghar se chale…What’s going on!!!”

Fading Humanity...

Yesterday morning, I was sitting in my balcony with Mishti for her natural Vitamin- D intake (sun-rays…!!), when I overheard two of my neighboring ladies conversation. One of them who stay just next to my house was narrating her ordeal because of absence of her maid.

I readily empathized with her as she is a lady in her late fifties and has been handling her 3 year old grandson while his parents are abroad for some work assignments. It must be so hard for that old couple to handle that li'l bundle of energy without a maid.The discussion of those two ladies drifted from how irresponsible these maids are, and how easily they do not turn up for work and also do not provide any backup ( yeah…few maids are generous enough to provide  backups also!!!). My neighboring lady was whining continuously and the other one advised her to deduct the salary for the absent days.

Later that day my maid informed me that a 14 year old girl who stays in her locality met with a bad accident last night while returning from work. A truck crushed her and she is battling for her life in some shoddy hospital. But when she told me that this girl used to work in my neighbors’ house then I related that this was the same maid about whom the lady was complaining. I told my maid that it seems nobody knows about it in our apartment. She instantly snapped and said “No, I personally informed all the houses where she worked last night and also requested them to give her month’s salary two days early to her family as a help. Your neighbors said money would only be given on 1^st of every month, not before or after that!!!”  

I was SHOCKED!!!. I do not know my neighbors personally but how people can be so insensitive? I don’t think that their financial condition is a constraint in giving few bucks of money to a needy person. And also, not to forget the morning whining session. That time the lady was aware that the poor girl is in hospital and has not taken leave “just like that”, still she portrayed as if her maid has ran away without informing her. Might be, she is too irritated by handling a toddler all alone. I do not want to be judgmental but are we forgetting the term ‘humanity’? Why our mind is now always in a self-centric mode where we forget to think about anybody outside us & our family!!!!          

                                                       

Height of Addiction....

Mishti has developed special attraction for TV advertisements jingles. Every time any such tune is played a smile flashes on her face. Although still her favourites are some worthless songs like 'Dhinka Chika', 'Chammak Challo' & 'Oooohh La La'  but now it has been observed that few advertisements numbers are also obliged by her highness. One of them is Bingo Mad Angles ad where it shows a spoof of Alibaba who says "Khul ja simba...khul ja sim-sim".

Today Mishti was taking her afternoon nap on the couch in drawing room and TV was on. Suddenly this ad was aired and she immediately woke up from her sleep, turned around looked into the screen and gave a broad smile. I was cursing myself for not lowering the volume of TV and thought that now she would be super- cranky because waken up from half sleep.

But wait.... as soon the ad was over she turned around again and slept off....!!!!. She slept for next 2 hours heartily.!!!! Wonder why I rush to prepare milk or start singing any random song ( hypothetically consider it as lullaby) whenever she wakes up in middle of night.....!!

She looks real 'Badmash...Isn't it!!!

Just Like That........Prema- Gyan

 

My maid Prema asked me why I don’t apply ‘Kaajal’ in my baby’s eyes. Now a days, She has taken up the responsibility of showering her advisory tips as she finds me & hubby most of the times coping up with new parenthoodhood all alone.

So, I told her that it causes infection and to avoid more debate on the topic added that doctor has asked not to apply ‘Kaajal’. She put forward her counter logic and said that you guys were also grown up with Kaajal in your eyes, did you have infection? Eyes look big and beautiful with Kaajal (What beautiful….my childhood snaps shows how horrible I used to look with broad & smudged kaajal all over my face!!!!).

Then she shot her masterpiece: Apply Kaajal every day, but the days you have to visit doctor rub it off & clean the face of the baby.....so simple.....:-) !!!!

State of mind???

This incident happened around 3 years ago in sept 2008. I still do not have any logical explanation for it. I do feel that it was all a state of mind.

Those days I was in night shifts (our shifts use to change after every 4 week) and that was the last week for night shift. One morning I saw a commotion in our generally deserted society compound. My maid told us that a 16 year mentally challenged girl had jumped off from her terrace and had fallen on the balcony of another flat. She died instantly. This all happened in our next door apartment and both the terrace and the balcony can be clearly seen from our balcony.

More information shared by my maid was that the girl was living with her step-mom and father was in Dubai. She had some altercations with her mom and she tried to run away from house in the night around 1 AM. The security guard didn’t allow her to go outside and asked her to go back as he sensed everything is not normal. She hid in the lawn and asked couple of people who were returning from their work to help her to go outside. Finally she crept back to her home and jumped off around 6 AM.

At first, when maid just informed about the suicide, I saw my sister’s face turned pale. She told that last night when she was coming back from office (evening shift ) around 2 AM a girl-not so well dressed – carrying a bag approached her near the lawn and asked for help in fluent English. Smelling it foul, my sister politely refused her to which she smiled and went away. Yes, you guessed it right, my sister was one the two persons who met that unfortunate girl that night. Initially we thought that sis saw some spirit (!!!) after the girl’s death but later when maid narrated the complete story then was able to relate the chain of events.

Anyways it was a Monday and that time I had a Sun-Mon week off. On Tuesday, when both my hubby and sis left for work I went to bed around 5 PM for a couple of hours sleep before night shift. Somehow, I was not able to sleep and thoughts about that girl constantly hovered on my mind. Anyways, went to office with sleepy eyes. On Wednesday, I came back around 9AM. Body was aching and eyes were half closed. Still I managed to cook something and ate it. With the thought that I would compensate the yesterday lack of sleep with more hours today, went to bed. Strangely, I was not able to sleep again. Believe me, it was horrible feeling that every inch of your body is dog-tired and want to sleep but somehow mind is fully awake & alert and not allowing you to sleep. Why my mind was so alert? Felt as if someone is constantly keeping a watch on me. Surprisingly, I didn’t felt it while cooking or watching T.V but only when I tried to sleep.

I discussed this with my hubby over phone and he counseled and tried to boost my morale. I was reluctant to discuss this with others as thought they might make fun of me!! So, I literally dragged myself to office on Wednesday night where my supervisor asked me to go back home as office sick room was under maintenance, but I was scared to go back home. Thursday, again the same thing happened, it was the third day when I had no proper sleep but just few minutes of nap in the office cab. Then in the evening, desperately I called one of my colleagues who stayed in the same society and requested him to let me sleep at his place. I slept for about 3-4 hours there and felt better. From Friday onwards my shift changed and it was quite similar to that of my hubby’s shift so I didn’t have to sleep alone in the house.

Gradually after some time, situation came back to normal. But still I woder what happened to me that time? I generally do not think much about those topics which my logical mind does not support, so cannot comment much about the reason. Might be possible that subconsciously I was thinking too much about that girl therefore while my conscious mind wanted to take rest but sub-conscious one was on thinking mode. Might be it was just a state of mind!! What do you say???

Lost It.....

Being branded as a real “spaced out” person who is always careless or rather forgetful about her belongings is the inspiration of this post. Till now throughout my life, I have lost so many things that now I don’t even remember the actual count. The list includes Tiffin boxes, water bottles, jackets, mufflers/scarf, hair clips/bands, wallet (!), specs, cellphone(s), footwear, pens and not to mention ‘n’ number of hankerchiefs.

Although I have my side of story as well attached to each of these loss but none of them qualify enough to prove me innocent or vigilant.

Tiffin boxes, water bottles: I do not remember anything specifically related to them as it happened in my initial years of school (But…errr you know that morning shows the day!!!).

Jackets, mufflers/scarf: All this kind of stuff I lost during my early school years but one incident I do remember when I lost my jacket. We used to tie the outer most winter wear to our waist in the afternoon as it used to be hot in comparison to morning when we were sent to school packed like a polar bear. While on my home in my rickshaw I slept off and woke up when I reached home. My jacket was not there around the waist…I still believe that somebody managed to pull it off while I was asleep (not my fault…you see!!!)

Hair clips/bands: Again all use less stuff which uses to itch & irk me so much. So it happens like…taking it off…..lies there unnoticed….somebody sneaks it away (again see…not my fault)

Wallet: This happened when I was in my college and I along with my sister went for buying some gifts & sweets for the occasion of Bhai-Duj. I was the pillion rider so all the bags were with me. We bought something at the first shop and then I remember keeping my wallet in my bag (alas…wallet liked the ground more than the bag!!).

Specs: This happened in train as I generally avoid wearing lenses in a train journey but this time as we were going for a wedding ceremony so I decided to be bit glamorous(:-o)by shedding my specs . I forgot my specs hanging from a loop near the berth which I kept there before sleeping and as I woke up late so got ready to deboard the train by quickly by brushing hair & wearing lenses.

Cellphones: I have lost two cell phones till now. Both of them are stolen so now you know what an easy prey I am for the pick -pocketers .First one was my hubby’s camera phone which I was using and victoriously clicking snaps during Durga Puja. Again I clearly remember keeping my phone inside a small pocket of my bag but later found it cut as if by a blade.

Second time I lost my phone on my last birthday when I went shopping to a busy market and was checking my phone often for answering birthday wishes. Somebody simply picked it away from my blazer’s pocket …..You see again, how I can be blamed for another person’s “haathsafai”.

Footwear: This happened when I was about 6-7 years of age. I wore my new shoes in Durga Puja which were obviously pinching thus I took it off while my parents were not noticing and was playing barefoot. Some street smart person took those away (What can I do in this case….??People are always so smarter than me).I was so scared that my mom-dad would scold me so informed my grand mom first. She was such a darling that she took me to the same shop (BATA) and got another pair of same shoes. We spilled the beans in house few days later when was fully convinced that no repercussions would happen.

Pens: After I lost few good ones, I stopped buying expensive ones…Reynolds & rotomac worked fine with me.

There are few items which I lost and also found luckily. Once I forgot my school bag (yes…you read it correct I forgot my school bag in the school….you can doubt my academic qualifications if you want to…I won’t blame you!!!) and then when I realized called the school office which was luckily open as some preparation for inspection was going on and got it secured. Then, I had lost my gold ring and found it later in my strolley bag. I forgot my cellphone twice in the ladies washroom and housekeeping staff returned it back.

Thus this above post clearly portrays how I am blamed for other’s smartness….Isn’t it!!!!!

Dus Bahane....

Handling a team of around 20-22 people was my core job during last 2 years as a team manager. These couple of years taught me lot of amusing things. Starting my role as a novice & confused team leader, I gradually evolved into an effective (..??) team manager who was even able to handle other teams (proxy supervising) along with her own.

I would like to give you a preview of various excuses or alibis I encountered for leave extension, unplanned leaves or in simple words not coming to office. Sometimes these leave request would be genuine one but with sheer experience I was able to bifurcate the fake ones. It used to be a tough call as denying any leaves had its own repercussions ranging from low motivation, emotional attyachar, negativity spread & non-performance.

Let’s have a look at them:

Sick or illness: It can be of self or any family members. The request should be understood as below:

one day off = upset tummy , high or low BP, giddiness             

3-4 days off = viral fever,

at least 15 days = jaundice, typhoid, measles, malaria

A guy of my team (Mr.M) informed me about his fever on phone and also dropped hint that doctor is suspecting typhoid. When I discussed this issue in my team meeting and asked everyone to trim their planned leave request as Mr.M might need bunch of leaves, I came to know that Mr.M was enquiring with many people about the symptoms of typhoid just a couple of days ago when he was perfectly fine (nice homework....)!!!!

Accidents or death: It sounds so heinous to fake this reason for a leave request. But, I even faced this also. One of my team members G had a bagful of imaginary uncles & aunts whom he used to take out of the bag for the sole purpose of their demise and thus asking leave to attend the funeral!!!

Conveyance: This was generally quoted when people were expected back from long leaves and the handy reason put forward that flight, train or bus cancelled or unable to get tickets in any the above mentioned means of transportation. Surprisingly, this crunch situation would arise only while coming back but never at that time when the person was going for the vacations!!!

Weird: All of these happened in reality to either me or my fellow team managers.

·         My room-mate locked the door from outside and left for his office with the keys. Also, friend cannot come back within next 10 hrs.

·         I am couple of pegs down, and would lose my job if I come to office in this state so you have to grant me the leave.

·         Watch out for this one...came from a girl. I have developed rashes all over my body; unable to wear clothes (…!!) She used to be a regular defaulter and similar amusing reasons erupted every alternate week.

Right now, I am not able to recollect more but can bet that there were many more completely whacky excuses which came across me in these 2 years.

Am I changing....???

Today we went to Lajpat Nagar market, Delhi for some winter shopping. Previously in these kind of shopping ventures I always followed 'shop till I drop' policy but this time it was quite different. First, after a long gap I went for shopping to these crowded markets ( had avoided them since I was expecting Mishti), second, I only shopped for a pair of footwear for myself.

This does not mean that I didn't shop, but the only shops which were grabbing my attention were those with kid stuffs. I bought so many stuffs for Mishti (woolen caps, leggings etc) and the thought of buying anything for self didn't even crossed my mind!!!

Belated festival update.

From a lazy bone like me this festival update is still quite early, I even planned to combine the Christmas n New Year updates and then publish!!!

This was the first Durga Puja & Diwali for Mishti although she won't remember anything but still we tried to involve her in all functions. Every morning starting from Panchami till Dashmi (5 days of Durga Puja) mishti's mom & masi had elaborate discussion about her dress and shoe selection for the day. Cotton balls were stuffed in her eras to save her from loud noise of loudspeakers & crackers. Mishti  duly cooperated with us and was never cranky while we took her to various puja pandals & cultural functions. She even rendered her voice while we were listening to musical nite by a famous singer. Hawk eyed watch has to be kept on her as she was making prompt use of her hands & legs to pull off those ear cottons & shoes.

Very happy as she knows this dress change means an outing

Her Rath was taken everywhere and it was a savoiur for us as we didn't had to carry her all the time.

Ohh..coming back home after midnite is so tiring!!!

 so Tried my hands on rangoli for the first time.....Not bad!!!

Mishti on Diwali nite.....who is scared of crackers?? me or mamma?

Life at a Call Centre….(Contd.)

Read the first part here.

Few myths & beliefs:


 Adultery and Infidelity is an eligibility criterion for a BPO employee: Again, a trash and rotten thought. Weak character people are everywhere. That day I saw in news that a professor was beaten up by his wife as he was involved with one of his student. Does that mean that a dignified profession like teaching in maligned. No, it is again a freak odd example which is specific to some person.

BPO is dimensionless industry: It is believed that the BPO work experience is a completely waste as it is not considered in any other sector. This is true as the work ex of BPO at the beginner level is not useful to any other sector but as you grow the management practices and quality tools adapted by the designation is global and same is followed in all other corporate offices. I have seen people growing from scratch to peak in this industry. But then, if any person has pharmaceutical experience he cannot utilize his domain knowledge in finance sector so why to blame BPO sector only that sector switching cannot be done after a BPO job.

Night Shifts = characterless people working: Why we think that if a person is out of his/her home at night then he/she must be indulged in something unethical? If something immoral has to be done then would anybody wait for night only…..;-)
The requirement of the BPO business is to cater the business round the world clock so it works 24x7. Nowadays, even media houses, IT sectors also work in same format so BPOs are not the only one to promote night shifts. Security concerns are there but it can be minimized by the people themselves. I don’t deny that female employee security is a major concern in 24x7 format but appropriate measure are there to avoid them.

I know that there are people in BPO who feel that they are doing nothing and wasting the degree and their life. This package of displaced people would always be there who would be generally the cribbing lot and I can bet that they would crib even if they had been in their so-called degree related domain.

Hard work and sincerity pays off in this sector as well. The see-saw between the hardworkers and smartworkers is same as it is in any other corporate sectors.

Had we thought what would it be like if there were no BPOs? So many jobless people hanging around and I am not specifying only about white collared professionals but cab vendors, drivers, housekeeping staffs, security guards, canteen vendors and even roadside dhaba owners or parantha –maggi wala as well. Even more jobs mean to any government as more income tax payers.

So, why not treat this industry with the same respect and dignity as any other corporate sector. Malicious image personals would be there everywhere …let’s not link them with their professions.

Life at a Call Centre….

This post is dedicated to the six important years of my professional life. Yes, as the title suggest I worked at a leading call centre prior to settling as a SAHM a month back. I thought of writing this post to clarify the various myths and “stories” we have heard about call centre.

More than a decade ago, when this industry landed in India, it was rightly known as call centre as that was the only odd job handled by that sector: handling outbound & inbound calls for any other country’s business, viz. banking, insurance, technology etc. With the progressing time, India started acquiring more variety of this outsourced business which did not limit itself to calls, thus the BPO term came into existence. For example, throughout my career I was with back-end process.

Before anyone starts raising eyebrows and say that “career in a BPO??? Are you serious??” I would like to mention that the ratio of career centric professionals in a BPO is more or less same as compared to any other industry. Moreover, I feel it is completely an attitude issue and any particular industry should not be blamed because of some lazy, confused aimless persons. There are people in government sectors, teaching/education sector, IT, banking as well who are worthless and lack the focus.

Few myths & beliefs:

BPO gives you easy money: This was true till few years back when this sector was trying to settle itself in developing countries and mouthful salary package was offered even at the entry level. Now the scenario has taken a 180 degree change. The clients (who outsource their business) have understood the Indian market well and which in turn has ended up in companies regularizing the package as per the industry standards. Easy money is not there as you have to slog like anything to make yourself eligible for lucrative incentives and bonus.

Only fun loving teenagers and losers land up in BPO: This is again a twisted fact. As many programs of this industry require excellent communication skills therefore sometimes young crowd just out of college do get hired irrespective of their marks and degree. But, nowadays even Chartered Accountants are hired for specific programs as per the requirement of the clients. In context to the term losers, yes I would say that people who are part of this sector are majorly, normal graduates or post graduates who has not specialized in other vocational courses like medical, engineering etc. Does that mean they are losers???

Drugs & alcohol in BPO is as common as coffee vending machines: In my opinion, these two monsters have cemented their claws in all strata of society where they found soft grounds without any discrimination. I do agree to the fact that sometimes the young crowd who lacks maturity and have access to money does fall into this pit easily but the odd cases would always be there. It is similar to brand people as Typical Bengali or Pakka Punjabi!!! If I know one person from BPO who has succumbed to this menace then I also know 100 people who have not and are perfectly normal as any other industry’s professionals.

Contd...

Celebrating first morsel.......

On 9th october we had Mishti's Annaprashan (cermony to celebrate first morsel of solid food for infants). Although it is celebrated in much more grand way as per Bengali customs but due to some reasons it is followed as a low-key affair in my in-laws family.Ideally this fuction is done on odd months (5th,7th or 9th month) before first tooth comes out for a girl child. So, after much discussion it was slated on her 5th month as we already felt her gums bit hard (teething...!!!!) .

We went to Kalibari (Goddess Kali Temple) and her highness obliged us by not showing any bad mood and also not sleeping in between the rituals. She also liked the priest and flashed bigggg smiles at him.

Whoa....He is tying a new hair-band!!!

What is this...this is not my boring milk bottle??

Ohhh he is blessing me...I like this person!!!

No body told me what to do with this stuff??

Ohh simple...I can spit it out!!!!!