Happy Birthday to me.....

Last 19th it was my 31^st birthday. This year we have celebrated it on 17^th (being 19^th a Monday, my practical hubby threw the party on Saturday so that nobody’s daily routine is disturbed). So, on 19^th as the temperature outside was 1.8 degrees, a lazy sloth like me spent the day in the house only.

This chilling winter is one thing which I really hate about my birthday. Ohh gosh…I still wonder how my mom had managed to make me wear winterwears when I was just born!!!!!.

Anyways, as in this post I am going to rant about my various memories related to my birthday, so let me start with the most exciting part of any birthday, i.e. gifts. Alas….80% of my birthday gifts are winter wears.  One birthday gift I do remember when I got a combo of 12 board games in one pack (Chinese checkers, zoologic etc…) as gift from my parents on my 10^th or 11^th birthday. My dad played a prank while giving it to me. He called me and started scolding me saying one of my neighbors had complained that I hit her. He asked me to stand in a corner and then suddenly placed this game pack in my hand…..ohhhh I was so thrilled.

As every year this day falls during the winter vacation thus invariably I have missed that experience where you go to school in a new dress other than school uniform (kids used to do that time), distribute toffees, gather greeting cards and get exempted from all the scoldings!!!

We never had lavish birthday parties as kids but yes it was celebrated in quite a homely way. On my 8^th or 9^th birthday we went out for dinner (me, my parents, grandparents & sis). I do remember this as those days eating out was not at all common like today.

When I grew up, birthday was celebrated with few friends for dinner at home when mom would cook variety of delicacies.  One incident I remember, it was the year 2002, as my dadu (grand-dad) died the same year, so we decided not to call any friends for dinner. However, my mom still cooked few items (like payes (kheer), macher chop (fish cutlets) etc. as she anticipated that my friends would visit me for giving gifts (and obviously wishing birthday). She was right, few close friends visited with gifts and we were enjoying the food when one of our neighborhood lady visited our place (She was of a kind who loved to poke her nose in other’s life and spread juicy news about it…!!!!). Next day, she duly informed all my other friends in the locality (who did not visited yesterday) that I had a secret party at my place where I did not invited them purposely!!!!

Another birthday, two of my friends (one is my hubby now) got two big cakes as gifts. So we ate only cake for breakfast for next three-four days…!!!

One one of birthday I was quite upset with my ex-BF as he gave me a contributed gift (when few of your friends contribute money and get a common expensive gift). My expectation was that atleast he could have used some of his mind's energy to get something exclusive for me....:-)

After marriage, my hubby has ensured to throw a party every year on that day. Not a very grand one, but few of our local friends and cousins were invited for drinks & food.

Last year I lost my phone on my birthday...!!!!But I would say GOD is great as it's being my birthday & also as I was expecting Mishti nobody(people like my hubby or my dad) scolded me.

This year my birthday was significant as I discovered one white hair…!!! on my scalp…it’s my first one!!!
Getting old….huh!!! I would have my thirties rocking the same way as my previous decades.

What's goin on??

Do you remember the song of ‘Salaam-Namaste’ which says “Poune barah baje, dono ghar se chale….What’s goin on”. So last Thursday, Mishti’s parents recreated the same song but obviously the mood was completely different (coz life is not a Hindi movie….!!). Let me start from the beginning.

1^st Dec was one of those happening days. When I say happening don’t run your imaginations wild, for a SAHM, baby puking thrice for the first time is quite disturbing and happening. Also, I am bit jinxed about a stupid issue. My date of birth is 19^th. If you add 1+9 = 10;1+0=1, so as per numerology my number is 1. I feel that all those days which eventually are number 1 are generally happening for me. I mean to say dates like 1,10,19 & 28 are those days of month when something happens which is other than normal routine!!(Do not laugh, at least not on my face). I mentioned before that it is a stupid issue, there are many important events of my life which does not happened on these days, e.g. my marriage (is it not happening enough???), my first job(???), so consider it as a funny superstition!!.

Anyways, coming back to the context, Mishti puked thrice on that day so I worriedly called SG (hubby) in office. He came home early and took us to the doctor. It was nothing serious as the Doc said so we came back in the evening. When I was preparing formula milk for her in night, I suddenly realized that Lactogen is about to finish….!!!. What about her midnight feeds? So now the inevitable blame game started.

My story: I have told SG last three days to get this Lactogen. First day he ignored, second day he had an office event so came back late in the night and third day we were more concerned about the puking issue so forgot!! He blamed me that if he didn’t get it on first day why I never pointed out? Honestly, it slipped out of my mind as well.

SG’s story: I know she told me three days about it but if she can remember all the days and issues of our fights which happened long back then why can’t she remember to remind me about this? Last day she should have mentioned it strongly that it’s gonna finish!!!

So I have decided that from next time I would dance a bit and then remind SG if something has to be bought on priority…he might get the importance of issue then. (Any ways, did someone notice how  my side of story looks more convincing , isn’t it??. So what, this is my blog…this much leverage I can take…right!!!). We explored the option of giving her normal milk in a dilute form but then this would be the first time for her to have something other than her formula milk. We were apprehensive and ruled out the idea. (and also if it does not suit her system then again this blame game would start..Let’s play safe!!)

So at 11:45 PM after a bad arguement we went out to get the Lactogen. It was like Obama & Osama sitting in the same car and looking out for something!!! Finally, got that thing in a nearby (about 6 km) hospital’s pharmacy. Now you understand why I said "Poune barah baje, dono ghar se chale…What’s going on!!!”

Fading Humanity...

Yesterday morning, I was sitting in my balcony with Mishti for her natural Vitamin- D intake (sun-rays…!!), when I overheard two of my neighboring ladies conversation. One of them who stay just next to my house was narrating her ordeal because of absence of her maid.

I readily empathized with her as she is a lady in her late fifties and has been handling her 3 year old grandson while his parents are abroad for some work assignments. It must be so hard for that old couple to handle that li'l bundle of energy without a maid.The discussion of those two ladies drifted from how irresponsible these maids are, and how easily they do not turn up for work and also do not provide any backup ( yeah…few maids are generous enough to provide  backups also!!!). My neighboring lady was whining continuously and the other one advised her to deduct the salary for the absent days.

Later that day my maid informed me that a 14 year old girl who stays in her locality met with a bad accident last night while returning from work. A truck crushed her and she is battling for her life in some shoddy hospital. But when she told me that this girl used to work in my neighbors’ house then I related that this was the same maid about whom the lady was complaining. I told my maid that it seems nobody knows about it in our apartment. She instantly snapped and said “No, I personally informed all the houses where she worked last night and also requested them to give her month’s salary two days early to her family as a help. Your neighbors said money would only be given on 1^st of every month, not before or after that!!!”  

I was SHOCKED!!!. I do not know my neighbors personally but how people can be so insensitive? I don’t think that their financial condition is a constraint in giving few bucks of money to a needy person. And also, not to forget the morning whining session. That time the lady was aware that the poor girl is in hospital and has not taken leave “just like that”, still she portrayed as if her maid has ran away without informing her. Might be, she is too irritated by handling a toddler all alone. I do not want to be judgmental but are we forgetting the term ‘humanity’? Why our mind is now always in a self-centric mode where we forget to think about anybody outside us & our family!!!!          

                                                       

Height of Addiction....

Mishti has developed special attraction for TV advertisements jingles. Every time any such tune is played a smile flashes on her face. Although still her favourites are some worthless songs like 'Dhinka Chika', 'Chammak Challo' & 'Oooohh La La'  but now it has been observed that few advertisements numbers are also obliged by her highness. One of them is Bingo Mad Angles ad where it shows a spoof of Alibaba who says "Khul ja simba...khul ja sim-sim".

Today Mishti was taking her afternoon nap on the couch in drawing room and TV was on. Suddenly this ad was aired and she immediately woke up from her sleep, turned around looked into the screen and gave a broad smile. I was cursing myself for not lowering the volume of TV and thought that now she would be super- cranky because waken up from half sleep.

But wait.... as soon the ad was over she turned around again and slept off....!!!!. She slept for next 2 hours heartily.!!!! Wonder why I rush to prepare milk or start singing any random song ( hypothetically consider it as lullaby) whenever she wakes up in middle of night.....!!

She looks real 'Badmash...Isn't it!!!

Just Like That........Prema- Gyan

 

My maid Prema asked me why I don’t apply ‘Kaajal’ in my baby’s eyes. Now a days, She has taken up the responsibility of showering her advisory tips as she finds me & hubby most of the times coping up with new parenthoodhood all alone.

So, I told her that it causes infection and to avoid more debate on the topic added that doctor has asked not to apply ‘Kaajal’. She put forward her counter logic and said that you guys were also grown up with Kaajal in your eyes, did you have infection? Eyes look big and beautiful with Kaajal (What beautiful….my childhood snaps shows how horrible I used to look with broad & smudged kaajal all over my face!!!!).

Then she shot her masterpiece: Apply Kaajal every day, but the days you have to visit doctor rub it off & clean the face of the baby.....so simple.....:-) !!!!

State of mind???

This incident happened around 3 years ago in sept 2008. I still do not have any logical explanation for it. I do feel that it was all a state of mind.

Those days I was in night shifts (our shifts use to change after every 4 week) and that was the last week for night shift. One morning I saw a commotion in our generally deserted society compound. My maid told us that a 16 year mentally challenged girl had jumped off from her terrace and had fallen on the balcony of another flat. She died instantly. This all happened in our next door apartment and both the terrace and the balcony can be clearly seen from our balcony.

More information shared by my maid was that the girl was living with her step-mom and father was in Dubai. She had some altercations with her mom and she tried to run away from house in the night around 1 AM. The security guard didn’t allow her to go outside and asked her to go back as he sensed everything is not normal. She hid in the lawn and asked couple of people who were returning from their work to help her to go outside. Finally she crept back to her home and jumped off around 6 AM.

At first, when maid just informed about the suicide, I saw my sister’s face turned pale. She told that last night when she was coming back from office (evening shift ) around 2 AM a girl-not so well dressed – carrying a bag approached her near the lawn and asked for help in fluent English. Smelling it foul, my sister politely refused her to which she smiled and went away. Yes, you guessed it right, my sister was one the two persons who met that unfortunate girl that night. Initially we thought that sis saw some spirit (!!!) after the girl’s death but later when maid narrated the complete story then was able to relate the chain of events.

Anyways it was a Monday and that time I had a Sun-Mon week off. On Tuesday, when both my hubby and sis left for work I went to bed around 5 PM for a couple of hours sleep before night shift. Somehow, I was not able to sleep and thoughts about that girl constantly hovered on my mind. Anyways, went to office with sleepy eyes. On Wednesday, I came back around 9AM. Body was aching and eyes were half closed. Still I managed to cook something and ate it. With the thought that I would compensate the yesterday lack of sleep with more hours today, went to bed. Strangely, I was not able to sleep again. Believe me, it was horrible feeling that every inch of your body is dog-tired and want to sleep but somehow mind is fully awake & alert and not allowing you to sleep. Why my mind was so alert? Felt as if someone is constantly keeping a watch on me. Surprisingly, I didn’t felt it while cooking or watching T.V but only when I tried to sleep.

I discussed this with my hubby over phone and he counseled and tried to boost my morale. I was reluctant to discuss this with others as thought they might make fun of me!! So, I literally dragged myself to office on Wednesday night where my supervisor asked me to go back home as office sick room was under maintenance, but I was scared to go back home. Thursday, again the same thing happened, it was the third day when I had no proper sleep but just few minutes of nap in the office cab. Then in the evening, desperately I called one of my colleagues who stayed in the same society and requested him to let me sleep at his place. I slept for about 3-4 hours there and felt better. From Friday onwards my shift changed and it was quite similar to that of my hubby’s shift so I didn’t have to sleep alone in the house.

Gradually after some time, situation came back to normal. But still I woder what happened to me that time? I generally do not think much about those topics which my logical mind does not support, so cannot comment much about the reason. Might be possible that subconsciously I was thinking too much about that girl therefore while my conscious mind wanted to take rest but sub-conscious one was on thinking mode. Might be it was just a state of mind!! What do you say???

Lost It.....

Being branded as a real “spaced out” person who is always careless or rather forgetful about her belongings is the inspiration of this post. Till now throughout my life, I have lost so many things that now I don’t even remember the actual count. The list includes Tiffin boxes, water bottles, jackets, mufflers/scarf, hair clips/bands, wallet (!), specs, cellphone(s), footwear, pens and not to mention ‘n’ number of hankerchiefs.

Although I have my side of story as well attached to each of these loss but none of them qualify enough to prove me innocent or vigilant.

Tiffin boxes, water bottles: I do not remember anything specifically related to them as it happened in my initial years of school (But…errr you know that morning shows the day!!!).

Jackets, mufflers/scarf: All this kind of stuff I lost during my early school years but one incident I do remember when I lost my jacket. We used to tie the outer most winter wear to our waist in the afternoon as it used to be hot in comparison to morning when we were sent to school packed like a polar bear. While on my home in my rickshaw I slept off and woke up when I reached home. My jacket was not there around the waist…I still believe that somebody managed to pull it off while I was asleep (not my fault…you see!!!)

Hair clips/bands: Again all use less stuff which uses to itch & irk me so much. So it happens like…taking it off…..lies there unnoticed….somebody sneaks it away (again see…not my fault)

Wallet: This happened when I was in my college and I along with my sister went for buying some gifts & sweets for the occasion of Bhai-Duj. I was the pillion rider so all the bags were with me. We bought something at the first shop and then I remember keeping my wallet in my bag (alas…wallet liked the ground more than the bag!!).

Specs: This happened in train as I generally avoid wearing lenses in a train journey but this time as we were going for a wedding ceremony so I decided to be bit glamorous(:-o)by shedding my specs . I forgot my specs hanging from a loop near the berth which I kept there before sleeping and as I woke up late so got ready to deboard the train by quickly by brushing hair & wearing lenses.

Cellphones: I have lost two cell phones till now. Both of them are stolen so now you know what an easy prey I am for the pick -pocketers .First one was my hubby’s camera phone which I was using and victoriously clicking snaps during Durga Puja. Again I clearly remember keeping my phone inside a small pocket of my bag but later found it cut as if by a blade.

Second time I lost my phone on my last birthday when I went shopping to a busy market and was checking my phone often for answering birthday wishes. Somebody simply picked it away from my blazer’s pocket …..You see again, how I can be blamed for another person’s “haathsafai”.

Footwear: This happened when I was about 6-7 years of age. I wore my new shoes in Durga Puja which were obviously pinching thus I took it off while my parents were not noticing and was playing barefoot. Some street smart person took those away (What can I do in this case….??People are always so smarter than me).I was so scared that my mom-dad would scold me so informed my grand mom first. She was such a darling that she took me to the same shop (BATA) and got another pair of same shoes. We spilled the beans in house few days later when was fully convinced that no repercussions would happen.

Pens: After I lost few good ones, I stopped buying expensive ones…Reynolds & rotomac worked fine with me.

There are few items which I lost and also found luckily. Once I forgot my school bag (yes…you read it correct I forgot my school bag in the school….you can doubt my academic qualifications if you want to…I won’t blame you!!!) and then when I realized called the school office which was luckily open as some preparation for inspection was going on and got it secured. Then, I had lost my gold ring and found it later in my strolley bag. I forgot my cellphone twice in the ladies washroom and housekeeping staff returned it back.

Thus this above post clearly portrays how I am blamed for other’s smartness….Isn’t it!!!!!

Dus Bahane....

Handling a team of around 20-22 people was my core job during last 2 years as a team manager. These couple of years taught me lot of amusing things. Starting my role as a novice & confused team leader, I gradually evolved into an effective (..??) team manager who was even able to handle other teams (proxy supervising) along with her own.

I would like to give you a preview of various excuses or alibis I encountered for leave extension, unplanned leaves or in simple words not coming to office. Sometimes these leave request would be genuine one but with sheer experience I was able to bifurcate the fake ones. It used to be a tough call as denying any leaves had its own repercussions ranging from low motivation, emotional attyachar, negativity spread & non-performance.

Let’s have a look at them:

Sick or illness: It can be of self or any family members. The request should be understood as below:

one day off = upset tummy , high or low BP, giddiness             

3-4 days off = viral fever,

at least 15 days = jaundice, typhoid, measles, malaria

A guy of my team (Mr.M) informed me about his fever on phone and also dropped hint that doctor is suspecting typhoid. When I discussed this issue in my team meeting and asked everyone to trim their planned leave request as Mr.M might need bunch of leaves, I came to know that Mr.M was enquiring with many people about the symptoms of typhoid just a couple of days ago when he was perfectly fine (nice homework....)!!!!

Accidents or death: It sounds so heinous to fake this reason for a leave request. But, I even faced this also. One of my team members G had a bagful of imaginary uncles & aunts whom he used to take out of the bag for the sole purpose of their demise and thus asking leave to attend the funeral!!!

Conveyance: This was generally quoted when people were expected back from long leaves and the handy reason put forward that flight, train or bus cancelled or unable to get tickets in any the above mentioned means of transportation. Surprisingly, this crunch situation would arise only while coming back but never at that time when the person was going for the vacations!!!

Weird: All of these happened in reality to either me or my fellow team managers.

·         My room-mate locked the door from outside and left for his office with the keys. Also, friend cannot come back within next 10 hrs.

·         I am couple of pegs down, and would lose my job if I come to office in this state so you have to grant me the leave.

·         Watch out for this one...came from a girl. I have developed rashes all over my body; unable to wear clothes (…!!) She used to be a regular defaulter and similar amusing reasons erupted every alternate week.

Right now, I am not able to recollect more but can bet that there were many more completely whacky excuses which came across me in these 2 years.

Am I changing....???

Today we went to Lajpat Nagar market, Delhi for some winter shopping. Previously in these kind of shopping ventures I always followed 'shop till I drop' policy but this time it was quite different. First, after a long gap I went for shopping to these crowded markets ( had avoided them since I was expecting Mishti), second, I only shopped for a pair of footwear for myself.

This does not mean that I didn't shop, but the only shops which were grabbing my attention were those with kid stuffs. I bought so many stuffs for Mishti (woolen caps, leggings etc) and the thought of buying anything for self didn't even crossed my mind!!!

Belated festival update.

From a lazy bone like me this festival update is still quite early, I even planned to combine the Christmas n New Year updates and then publish!!!

This was the first Durga Puja & Diwali for Mishti although she won't remember anything but still we tried to involve her in all functions. Every morning starting from Panchami till Dashmi (5 days of Durga Puja) mishti's mom & masi had elaborate discussion about her dress and shoe selection for the day. Cotton balls were stuffed in her eras to save her from loud noise of loudspeakers & crackers. Mishti  duly cooperated with us and was never cranky while we took her to various puja pandals & cultural functions. She even rendered her voice while we were listening to musical nite by a famous singer. Hawk eyed watch has to be kept on her as she was making prompt use of her hands & legs to pull off those ear cottons & shoes.

Very happy as she knows this dress change means an outing

Her Rath was taken everywhere and it was a savoiur for us as we didn't had to carry her all the time.

Ohh..coming back home after midnite is so tiring!!!

 so Tried my hands on rangoli for the first time.....Not bad!!!

Mishti on Diwali nite.....who is scared of crackers?? me or mamma?

Life at a Call Centre….(Contd.)

Read the first part here.

Few myths & beliefs:


 Adultery and Infidelity is an eligibility criterion for a BPO employee: Again, a trash and rotten thought. Weak character people are everywhere. That day I saw in news that a professor was beaten up by his wife as he was involved with one of his student. Does that mean that a dignified profession like teaching in maligned. No, it is again a freak odd example which is specific to some person.

BPO is dimensionless industry: It is believed that the BPO work experience is a completely waste as it is not considered in any other sector. This is true as the work ex of BPO at the beginner level is not useful to any other sector but as you grow the management practices and quality tools adapted by the designation is global and same is followed in all other corporate offices. I have seen people growing from scratch to peak in this industry. But then, if any person has pharmaceutical experience he cannot utilize his domain knowledge in finance sector so why to blame BPO sector only that sector switching cannot be done after a BPO job.

Night Shifts = characterless people working: Why we think that if a person is out of his/her home at night then he/she must be indulged in something unethical? If something immoral has to be done then would anybody wait for night only…..;-)
The requirement of the BPO business is to cater the business round the world clock so it works 24x7. Nowadays, even media houses, IT sectors also work in same format so BPOs are not the only one to promote night shifts. Security concerns are there but it can be minimized by the people themselves. I don’t deny that female employee security is a major concern in 24x7 format but appropriate measure are there to avoid them.

I know that there are people in BPO who feel that they are doing nothing and wasting the degree and their life. This package of displaced people would always be there who would be generally the cribbing lot and I can bet that they would crib even if they had been in their so-called degree related domain.

Hard work and sincerity pays off in this sector as well. The see-saw between the hardworkers and smartworkers is same as it is in any other corporate sectors.

Had we thought what would it be like if there were no BPOs? So many jobless people hanging around and I am not specifying only about white collared professionals but cab vendors, drivers, housekeeping staffs, security guards, canteen vendors and even roadside dhaba owners or parantha –maggi wala as well. Even more jobs mean to any government as more income tax payers.

So, why not treat this industry with the same respect and dignity as any other corporate sector. Malicious image personals would be there everywhere …let’s not link them with their professions.

Life at a Call Centre….

This post is dedicated to the six important years of my professional life. Yes, as the title suggest I worked at a leading call centre prior to settling as a SAHM a month back. I thought of writing this post to clarify the various myths and “stories” we have heard about call centre.

More than a decade ago, when this industry landed in India, it was rightly known as call centre as that was the only odd job handled by that sector: handling outbound & inbound calls for any other country’s business, viz. banking, insurance, technology etc. With the progressing time, India started acquiring more variety of this outsourced business which did not limit itself to calls, thus the BPO term came into existence. For example, throughout my career I was with back-end process.

Before anyone starts raising eyebrows and say that “career in a BPO??? Are you serious??” I would like to mention that the ratio of career centric professionals in a BPO is more or less same as compared to any other industry. Moreover, I feel it is completely an attitude issue and any particular industry should not be blamed because of some lazy, confused aimless persons. There are people in government sectors, teaching/education sector, IT, banking as well who are worthless and lack the focus.

Few myths & beliefs:

BPO gives you easy money: This was true till few years back when this sector was trying to settle itself in developing countries and mouthful salary package was offered even at the entry level. Now the scenario has taken a 180 degree change. The clients (who outsource their business) have understood the Indian market well and which in turn has ended up in companies regularizing the package as per the industry standards. Easy money is not there as you have to slog like anything to make yourself eligible for lucrative incentives and bonus.

Only fun loving teenagers and losers land up in BPO: This is again a twisted fact. As many programs of this industry require excellent communication skills therefore sometimes young crowd just out of college do get hired irrespective of their marks and degree. But, nowadays even Chartered Accountants are hired for specific programs as per the requirement of the clients. In context to the term losers, yes I would say that people who are part of this sector are majorly, normal graduates or post graduates who has not specialized in other vocational courses like medical, engineering etc. Does that mean they are losers???

Drugs & alcohol in BPO is as common as coffee vending machines: In my opinion, these two monsters have cemented their claws in all strata of society where they found soft grounds without any discrimination. I do agree to the fact that sometimes the young crowd who lacks maturity and have access to money does fall into this pit easily but the odd cases would always be there. It is similar to brand people as Typical Bengali or Pakka Punjabi!!! If I know one person from BPO who has succumbed to this menace then I also know 100 people who have not and are perfectly normal as any other industry’s professionals.

Contd...

Celebrating first morsel.......

On 9th october we had Mishti's Annaprashan (cermony to celebrate first morsel of solid food for infants). Although it is celebrated in much more grand way as per Bengali customs but due to some reasons it is followed as a low-key affair in my in-laws family.Ideally this fuction is done on odd months (5th,7th or 9th month) before first tooth comes out for a girl child. So, after much discussion it was slated on her 5th month as we already felt her gums bit hard (teething...!!!!) .

We went to Kalibari (Goddess Kali Temple) and her highness obliged us by not showing any bad mood and also not sleeping in between the rituals. She also liked the priest and flashed bigggg smiles at him.

Whoa....He is tying a new hair-band!!!

What is this...this is not my boring milk bottle??

Ohhh he is blessing me...I like this person!!!

No body told me what to do with this stuff??

Ohh simple...I can spit it out!!!!!

Just Like That........Surprise

A TV commercial of a leading jewellers shows a couple where the man teases the woman who is getting ready by saying her neck is bit crooked and then gifts a beautiful necklace as surprise gift!!! Did someone noticed that the matching ear-rings of that surprise gift are already dangling on the woman's ear from the start of the commercial! What a surprise!!!!

Ek Se Bhale Do….!!!!!!

Today, all the news channels showing the news of world population reaching the mark of 7 Billion gave me food for thought.  The situation is really alarming. Few weird way-outs flashed my mind viz, compulsory sterilization after two children, rewarding people who has limited their number of kids to one or two. Then this sudden thought also came to my mind that the policy of China “One kid per couple” should be made mandatory in India as well.

But then my thought drifted from this global issue to another social situation that whether second kid should be planned or not.  (Disclaimer: writing post on this topic does not imply that I am thinking of having another baby soon.)

Being a part of urban strata of society, I had discussion on this topic with many of my friends which gave me a chance to look the coin from both the sides. I am trying jot down whatever I heard from people.

For:

The balanced upbringing of single kid is very difficult as parents have to take care of not being too pampering and protective. The small values of sharing, caring and sense of responsibility generally takes a back seat for single kid. Even heard a story of my friend’s cousin who felt had issues in sharing his room with spouse after marriage as he was only child of his parents and was used to of getting everything in his platter only for himself.

Only child are very lonely as the relation shared by siblings has no replacement. Gone are the days when the extended family used to fill the gap. As a teenager, this loneliness sometimes encourages the only child to look out for support and company outside the family in a wrong way. (OMG!! how boring it would have been if I was not able to share all my gossips, thoughts and POV with my sister…still remember how we used to get scolding from my mom for chatting or rather whispering after midnight in bed).

Also heard this one liner from someone: First kid is brought in this world for parents and second kid for the first one!!

Against:

With one kid you can provide him/her the best of everything be it your quality time or financial support.

The world population clock is ticking like anything so this much can having one kid can be sure shot help to the situation.

Some women (already mom of a kid) were horrified to go through that pain and turbulence again.

Personally, I still have a mixed opinion for the scenario. But heard a wonderful option from one of my colleague that have a kid of your own and then adopt the second child…….Good Thought, must say!!!

Ye haath mujhe de de Thakur……

Hands and fingers are the new found interest of Mishti. She blissfully plays with her own hands, or rather tries to have a fist-fight between her right and left hand!! We found a new activity to keep her engaged: give her hands the grip of her toes and she would exercise all her stamina from both ways, hands trying to hold more and toes trying to release themselves.

Her count of activities includes:

Stuffing all fingers in her mouth and then make funny faces to make people believe that they are indeed tasteless and she is just doing it for timepass!!!

When in mood, she would talk (obviously in her own language) endlessly by varying her pitch and tone. If you respond her in same way, she increases her volume and adds more special effects to her conversation by screeching and sighing sounds.

 She makes bubbles with her saliva, and if founds someone noticing her then would increase the activity with more vigour.

Rolling over and sleeping on her tummy only (sometimes bums on air). She is doing this since was 2.5 months old.

She gives biiiiiiiiggggggg toothless smile to all those whom she finds eligible (Please don’t ask me the eligibility criteria, unknown to me).

She has developed a firm grip now and applies her strength on everything without any discrimination. Her favourites are still her mashu’s hair, our fingers and strings of her cotton nappies.

Trying to taste everything in sight be it her toys, her t-shirts or frocks, fingers (be it hers or of anyone else’s), newspaper (yeah…one day she even tried that)!

This month she enjoyed her first Durga-puja and also we got her Annaprashan( ceremony for first morsel of solid food taken by an infant) done from Kali-temple.

She is becoming a constant attention seeker (look who is talking…J) now making it quite a challenge for me to cook , do any other household chores, or do anything which does not involves her while she is awake.

As per all the parenting sites. Books & forums, I try to tell stories to Mishti which she listens for few minutes and then shows no interest. I started with the story of tortoise & rabbit and another self –scripted one with Mishti and her toys as various characters. Also, I am refreshing my knowledge of nursery rhymes now (honestly, I even googled some!!!). But it’s real fun rhyming for her my favourite poems from Sukumar Roy’s Abol-tabol …I feel so nostalgic!!!!

A square peg in round hole…!!!!!!

So many things have changed in last few months. It has been four months since Mishti was born. During this period I oscillated from being a terrible to terrific mom to her. I sailed through so many changes and I know that it’s not over!!

Starting with the feeling the “baby blues” to the Stay- At- home experience…..the quake tremors are still on.

I took one of the toughest decision of my life…leaving the job. I know many would say that why I am creating much “hoo-hah” over it, so many ladies left their job to be a stay-at-home Mom. I don’t know, but still I am not able to identify myself with this frame of reference! I had the option of keeping a maid for Mishti but pinning to this decision became a complete no-no whenever I saw her broad toothless smile. Nobody believed that a workaholic or to be precise officeaholic person like me can take such a decision. But still every glimpse of Mishti reminds me that “She needs me”.

Sometimes I do think that am I a bad Mom or lack the motherly feeling as I feel the void and peculiar emptiness in my life now. Every night while going to sleep, I think as if another uneventful or rather useless day went away. Although now the workload is far more taxing than my previous worklife routine but still at the end of the day I feel I had done nothing substantial or just wasted my day.

Also my good health is now behaving like my first-born who is jealous and upset after Mishti is born and is not willing to come near me….. :-(   I was far more active and healthy during my pregnancy when I balanced my work, home & pregnancy very successfully. Now-days, I am so busy the whole day applying time management & prioritizing chores at home that I don’t get any appropriate time to chat or call my friends.

Ohh yes…Mishti has been successfully hitting all the development milestones like rolling on her tummy, recognizing family members, producing crackling laugh sounds, showing lotz n lotz of expressions and trying to hold her bottle herself.

Superb expression of Mishti to restrain me from applying body-lotion after bath!!!

P.S. Would surely try to be more light hearted in my next blog. This whining and cribbing just don’t suits me!!!!..:-)

It couldn’t have been better.......!!!!

As I start my first independent blog, what could have been a better topic than the birth story of my li'l doll. Obviously, birth of the baby would be the climax of the story.

To begin with, when we were confirmed that I am expecting, I started making better use of internet other than social networking & online games. In few days I was bursting with information about pregnancy and various scenarios attached to it. As we had decided not to divulge the news to anyone else till the 2nd trimester therefore my hubby -SG and my sis were the only person to whom I was able to show-off my knowledge!!.

1st Trimester: It started with a worrying face of doctor who clearly said it is a 50-50 situation. With a tendency of High BP (140/90) and a history of Thyroid problem, "extra-careful" was the keyword. My doctor took no chance and scanned me every fortnight. With no morning sickness or queasiness and increased gluttonous appetite, I utilized this opportunity to pamper myself with all those banned foods which I generally had to avoid being overweight. So most of the doc's visits were followed by heavy lunch at some food joints. At home, my sis heartily fulfilled my demands of Paranthas and Aloo -Bhaja (yummy bengali version of french-fries) and other similar not-so-healthy stuffs.

2nd Trimester: This was the most stable period of my pregnancy which started with the excitement and joy of our family members and friends when they were told about the news. It followed with a long list of do's-n-don'ts. Also, My doc found out about my eating rendezvous and caught me red-handed with a BP of 140/110 thus restricted my non-veg, oily and other tempting foods completely..:-(. I continued to gather information from all possible sources about pregnancy and a new born. But soon, all the excitement settled down and boredom started creeping in.

3rd trimester: By my 7th month, I really thought of writing application to Mother- Nature for trimming the human gestational period to 6 months or less (could have saved so much time...!!!). My "Saadh” ceremony (Bengali ritual similar to baby-shower) also happened this month. Ohh yes..not to mention that my BP dropped to 130/90 and my doc was now convinced that stopping all supplies of yummy food is the only way to keep my health chart normal.....:-(  
I continued my work and as I had no complications so never took any extra sick leaves. But the most irritating question I faced from my 8th month was "When are you going on your Maternity leaves?". This line changed with my 9th month as " When are you gonna stop coming to office?” Every time, I felt like telling them to mind their own business. If I am feeling fine and if my doc has no problem then why should anyone forcibly make me feel that I am a nerd who does not care about her pregnancy!!!

Anyways, till 27th May I went to office and went for routine check-up on 28th. Doc told me that my baby is almost 3.1 kgs and if we wait more then might be there is a chance of C-section. All other aspects like AF count, baby head-down position etc was completely in-sync. She asked us to decide on a date next week when I can be induced pain artificially. 1st June was zeroed as the D-Day. Honestly, I was not afraid but kind of relieved as would be getting rid of the huge tummy soon!!!

1st June, 2011: Day started with dose of medicine which was supposed to start contractions (pain) within couple of hours. But as nothing happened, I prepared the breakfast and then we headed towards the hospital. Like any of our regular drives this time also we had confusion about the way to hospital (we always met our doc in her clinic earlier) and me & SG had arguments about it. Finally at 12PM we reached hospital and my pain started around 12:30 PM. By 15:19 Hrs my baby was born. I was told it is a baby girl in the OT and then sedated. When I regained my senses, my mom gave my girl to my lap ...at first I really found the li'l one quite weird!!! SG told me that he had already decided her nickname as “Mishti”. Nice name...I thought and readily agreed to this as it is gonna heighten the chance that name of my choice would be finalized as her official name…J!!!!