A square peg in round hole…!!!!!!

So many things have changed in last few months. It has been four months since Mishti was born. During this period I oscillated from being a terrible to terrific mom to her. I sailed through so many changes and I know that it’s not over!!

Starting with the feeling the “baby blues” to the Stay- At- home experience…..the quake tremors are still on.

I took one of the toughest decision of my life…leaving the job. I know many would say that why I am creating much “hoo-hah” over it, so many ladies left their job to be a stay-at-home Mom. I don’t know, but still I am not able to identify myself with this frame of reference! I had the option of keeping a maid for Mishti but pinning to this decision became a complete no-no whenever I saw her broad toothless smile. Nobody believed that a workaholic or to be precise officeaholic person like me can take such a decision. But still every glimpse of Mishti reminds me that “She needs me”.

Sometimes I do think that am I a bad Mom or lack the motherly feeling as I feel the void and peculiar emptiness in my life now. Every night while going to sleep, I think as if another uneventful or rather useless day went away. Although now the workload is far more taxing than my previous worklife routine but still at the end of the day I feel I had done nothing substantial or just wasted my day.

Also my good health is now behaving like my first-born who is jealous and upset after Mishti is born and is not willing to come near me….. :-(   I was far more active and healthy during my pregnancy when I balanced my work, home & pregnancy very successfully. Now-days, I am so busy the whole day applying time management & prioritizing chores at home that I don’t get any appropriate time to chat or call my friends.

Ohh yes…Mishti has been successfully hitting all the development milestones like rolling on her tummy, recognizing family members, producing crackling laugh sounds, showing lotz n lotz of expressions and trying to hold her bottle herself.

Superb expression of Mishti to restrain me from applying body-lotion after bath!!!

P.S. Would surely try to be more light hearted in my next blog. This whining and cribbing just don’t suits me!!!!..:-)