Angry Birds....

Mommy & Daddy enthusiastically rushes to select the design for Mishti's first birthday cake. After locking horns over 25 odd designs, only few were short-listed. Barbie & princess themes were readily turned down to avoid gender stereotype. Finally after much discussion 'Angry bird' was finalized. Their reasons for this choice(If you think these reasons are weird then you are almost right !!!):

Mishti giggles when she listens to those shrieks & screams of 'Angry Birds' while anybody plays this game.

With a pair of dark & arched eyebrows (inherited from her dad !!!) and rolling eyes Mishti resembles 'Angry Birds' sometimes. 

The cake with this theme looked quite colourful & bright.

Bit uncommon choice for a one year old's birthday...but then does anything till now proves Mishti's parents' choices as regular and standard ones!!!

Once the theme has been finalized, the money-talk starts between Daddy & the lady who owns the bakery, over the phone. Daddy found her a snob and very unprofessional who refused to deliver the cake at the venue (only 3-4 km away) & insisted on extra payment for that service. She was kind of throwing her weight around.....(but with her ability to bake cakes, throwing weight comes to her naturally...isn't it!!!). They leave the shop without confirming the order.

Anyway, bad mood was contagious that day. Daddy passes it on to Mommy to redirect his anger for that baker's lady. Mommy reverts with same spirit . Soon, everybody witnesses two live 'Angry Birds' fighting with each other...obviously in this case the weapons were sarcastic comments & hard words.

So, now you see, how effective these 'themes' are. Not only kids even adults get influenced by them so easily!!!

(Image courtesy: Google search)

(P.S. Next Day, Daddy coyly ordered the same cake over the phone after talking to the real owner of the bakery who is mother of that unprofessional lady . She was very courteous and professional.)

Your toy is better...!!!

I have observed a quite typical phenomena as I take Mishti to our housing complex lawn every evening. All the new moms accompanying their babies & toddlers come down to grab some fresh air & latest gosspis. All these kids are too young to understand the concept of playing together and thus show their antiques individually. Some who have learned to walk run around in the lawn and eye on plucking flowers & leaves. Few keep clinging to their mommies and want to play with them only. Mishti is yet to walk on her own so she loves crawling on the grass and try to follow elder kids who run around. 

Now few even come down with their balls, bats and rackets. Mishti got a big red ball at home but she rarely plays with it. However the moment she find any other kid with some ball she pounces on it. To ease out the matter I also took that red ball to lawn. But now every other kid was playing with it except Mishti!!! So, it happens like that kid V likes Mishti's ball, Mishti tries to snatch the sipper of kid S. Kid B loves to play with bat of kid A. No body likes their own toy/stuff but finds other's stuff more interesting.

Observing this, a thought ran my mind. Aren't we adults behave the same way??? We rarely appreciate what we have rather whine for those things which other's have. We always want what others have in their life. Ambitions, aspirations, dreams would be more sweet once accomplished if we value the small things which is there in our life...Isn't it!!!

Mishti in lawn

Family Time...Huh!!!

Last Saturday we went to Ambience Mall (I read somewhere that this is almost one km stretched mall). Our main purpose was to buy lot of stuffs & gifts for some office contest in SG's office. As SG hopped stores to get the right stuff, I & my sis (Mishti tagged along) moved away for our retail therapy. 

While sis was busy with trying various clothes, Mishti decided to clean the store's floor by rolling on it. She even wriggled herself from my lap to crawl on floor and managed to receive compliments like ' choo chweet...awww look she is cutuu' and all from many strangers. After a while I try to divert her attention from crawling and took her outside the store and walk towards the decorative fountain.

While I park my butt in one of the seats around the fountain I saw an elderly septuagenarian couple sitting next to me. I had previously noticed them almost an hour ago sitting visibly bored at the same place when we had entered the mall. 

So, what I inferred from their conversation is that they were waiting for their sons, DILs & grand children. The elderly man was cribbing that he can't even read his newspaper here and the lady pushed the blame on him saying it is because of his insistence they have to accompany their family to the mall.  It seems like their dutiful family had taken them out in pretext of gala family time (which they were having indeed...). After making them wait for almost more than couple of hours they returned and were all chirpy about exciting gaming experience they had in Gaming Ally situated in 4th Floor. The kids & teens of the family wanted to re-visit that floor and kept on insisting their grandparents to accompany them this time. When they refused sweetly quoting their incapacity of stamina one of the DIL got the clue and moved the herd back to home. 

It was clear that the family was there to have some good 'family time' and did not wanted to exclude the elders....but my question remains that is this a way to spend 'quality family time'. Might be their intention was good to let the elders experience the mall culture but shouldn't they had been more sensitive towards the notion of 'relax time' for their elders. I understand that they did not wanted their grandparents to be left out but by making them wait in sedentary position for more than two hours was showcasing their insensitivity and selfish attitude. Shouldn't they have checked with their elders about their funda of  'family time' before insisting them to accompany to the mall? I wonder if I am over-reacting but this incident certainly made my blogging fingers itch..So, itch, itch, itch.....!!

My trick to stop her from rolling on the floor

Let's talk...

We as a nation love to talk, chat, discuss, debate about any issue under the sun....and mind it without being a part of the solution of course!!. I read an update in FB by some person after the third episode of Satyamev Jayate was aired which states that Amir Khan should have spent more episodes on each issue....only 1.5 hrs is not enough to discuss such serious topics. I just fret....why we want to discuss more?? How would that have helped more if Amir had covered these social evils like female foeticide, child sex abuse, dowry spread across tons of episode?

Then there are these bunch of cynics who frown since the first episode. There are so many craps crabs around. They shout over the top of their voice against this 'push -button activism'. They tweet, update, blog, speak how Amir Khan is trying to hog the limelight by pulling the strained nerves of common man...yes saying this strangely  they accept the existence of these 'strained nerves'. I was never an ardent fan of Amir Khan , but liked him as a performer .....(I must admit however corny it may sound but I had been a huge fan of SRK for many years and still have some soft corner in my 'Dil' for him !!!). But personally I like the initiative & research done by Amir Khan to construct this show. Even if he is trying to grab the attention but still I prefer his choice of work to do that is better than some Yoga- guru who keeps on oscillating between Pranayama-politics-black money. Amir is doing a fairly decent job by making people go through those issues which we are aware of but always prefer to keep them in back-burner. 

When this show took up the issue of female foeticide or child sex abuse it did not show something which we never knew but have a 'hush-hush' mindset about it.

After crabs, there are ostriches who live in their rosy world and keep on saying "Arre Amir kitna gandh dikha raha hai!!!( what crap Amir is showing!!)". This species did not welcome this concept of reality shown on TV...they prefer scripted Rakhi Ka Swayambar or Bigg Boss more!!!

Third episode Amir took up 'Dowry'....quite a balanced episode where he not only showed perils of this evil but also other crooked customs born due to it like 'Pakrauwa Vyah (kidnapped marriage)'. As per me dowry is an evil which has taken many lives till now and is the mother of 'female foeticide'. 

So, in a way this show is conducting a crash course on the so called 'Gandh' of our society which has engulfed our society & lives like termites.....The whole syllabus is far more ugly but the need of the hour is requesting us to attend at least the crash course which covers the important points for final examinations.

Mishti Tunes....

Mishti just looooves music....Any jingle-tingle, peppy, loud, full of beats song grabs her attention. But surprisingly, sometimes she even stops to listen some soothing melodious numbers as well. Whenever she is cranky or is focusing on some mischief, any music channel or youtube is our first saviour. 

Her latest favourites are :

(Master ji ki aa gayi Chithii...)

This is a song from a movie of 70's. Listen to the song and you would know why a kid would love to hear it.

It is a treat to see Mishti watching this video..she cracks into laughter with each animal sound.

I came to know about Teletubbies  from Zoe's Mom and one day when Mishti was shrieking as she banged her head to some furniture, I found this song in youtube....Ohh God!! Mishti stopped crying at once and burst into giggles.

But still her all time favourites are:

Hawa Hawa song from Rockstar.....she even tries kind of dancing by moving & swaying her hands!!

Sadda haq from same movie....I don't know why but Mishti seems obsessed with this one !!

Ooo La la from Dirty Picture....yes I am embarrassed to core but cannot deny that Mishti is a beeeeg Faaaaaaaan of this song since she was 4 months old!!!

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Right now, I am quite excited about Mishti's first Birthday celebrations and planning a lot about it. Would come up with more details soon.

Crushed Petals....

Fear, guilt, anger, frustration, pain, hate and above all helplessness....these assorted and jumbled feelings numbed their existence. In some cases, multiple times, repeatedly they went through the trauma. Devastated & shattered they suffered those nightmares alone.

'Satyamev Jayate' gave few of them a chance to open up their heart. The show startled many of us by highlighting the huge percentage of Child sex abuse victims. Yes, in India, almost every second child unfortunately goes through this trauma.

That day I heard somewhere which was quoted on a funny note "We are descendants of monkeys....but the problem is that still we have not stopped descending!!". On a serious tone this is so true...those pedophiles have descended far below the human level.....just that these sickos roam around freely in our society in the garb of a human face. SMJ tried to negate many myths involving CSA. Those who are in blog world might have already been aware of the facts behind these CSA myths through well penned posts during CSA Awareness Month. But for rest of the people it was indeed an eye-opener. I am sure there would be many parents who are not comfortable with 'sex education' of their kids must have been  shuddered with the horrifying tales of the victims in that show.

We need to understand that nor are the CSA victims from any different world neither the abusers. Here at this platform now I can also admit being a CSA victim once. I was never able to muster the courage to tell anyone about it that time. But why?...I shared a very open relationship with my parents especially with my dad. Even then I never opened up with him about this matter. I gave subtle hints but they went unnoticed. So, you see it is not only healthy & open relationship with your kids that would help but you have to be observant about their  body language & changed patterns of behaviour as well. Communicate, be aware & come out of your shell of ignorance. Those scars maul the soul of the child which they carry throughout their life...I might have escaped with a bruise but everyone is not so lucky. However memories of those incidents still leaves sour taste in my persona. 

Today SG told me that they were discussing episodes of SMJ in his office when one of his colleagues said that  "Man, What this Amir Khan is serving as Sunday Brunch, they are showing too much reality, It is so depressing. These cases are only there in newspapers...He could have chosen some other theme for his show". Poor man, I think his taste of reality show is limited only to Big Boss or Splitsvilla!! This mindset of 'ostrich in the storm' would only keep up the spirit of heinous monsters. We can always be in our La-la land and believe that it can never happen to our kids but would that make the issue disappear!! 

One very important quote mentioned in the show was "Respect the behaviour, not the age". This can be quite a controversial statement in reference our Indian Culture. But I  personally support its validity.

But the most important point which was raised  in SMJ was that CSA should be considered as a crime and strict laws should be there to punish those pedophiles. Whoa!!!...can you believe that it is still not there in our law books and this bill is yet pending ( lying in dust) in Rajyasabha.

I can continue to pour my disgust on this issue endlessly but ending here quoting Amir Khan:

I’d like to leave you with a thought: perhaps the more closed or narrow minded we are about sexuality, the more repressed it gets, and then it manifests itself in ugly ways. I’m hoping that as a society in time we will reach a stage where we are not frightened of our sexuality. Rather, we learn to deal with it in a dignified, open, responsible and healthy manner.

Amir Khan conducted this workshop in the show and it is developed by Dr. Bhushan Shukla

A Mom speaks...

This year on the Mother's Day for the first time I would standing on the other side of fence...yes my first Mother's Day as a mom!!!

Mishti would be one year old soon ( 18 days left!!) and this one year passed as the most happening and significant year of my life. Learned so many things, unlearned many behaviours, discovered a completely different side of mine throughout this year as I sailed with Mishti on the journey of motherhood.

In my case, pregnancy and delivery was as smooth as hot knife passes through butter. But the real test commenced after that. All alone to handle that 3 month old made me a "Real Mom". Initial days were quite testing and sleeping continuously for 4 hours was a luxury for me. I am not embarrassed to confess that many times I just felt like running away from everything to Himalayas or simply say 'I am not gonna play this game' like we used to say as kids while playing with friends. I know it sounds really horrible feeling for a mom while ideally I should have been mushy and cuddly with my bundle of joy. But it is the fact I am talking about. After working for 6 long years I willingly took the decision to be a SAHM. Decision was tough and the change took its own time to get synced with my system. It was hard to adjust with so many changes simultaneously : soiled nappies, breast-feeding, sleepless days & nights, post delivery low phase, the emptiness which I felt after leaving my job, my health issues....list is long.

Does it all sounds like cribbing...no it is not. I admit that sometimes I do miss those Pre-Mishti days but I really cherish my life with Mishti as well. I may not be a perfect mom but yes, I have my own criterion of being a "Real Mom". I might not fit into typical stereotyped mother figure and some of my parenting style even raises eyebrows of many people. 

I may not fuss or get stressed if Mishti shows her disinterest in food & wants only milk every time for consecutive days.

I am Okay if she is crawling on the lawn grass just because she enjoys this activity a lot.

 I do not blame myself if someday her routine gets upset for any reasons and her bath & meal time is delayed a bit. 

But I freak out if any workmen of my FIL's shop try to take her in lap or play with her... I know they are loyal and had been associated with our family for so many years, but still I do not feel comfortable...that's it.

I feel bad if she picks up any bad habit and feel utterly responsible for that

So, you see my notions are very peculiar about parenting. I may not be a typical parent but now I know the feeling when people say 'having a kid is like letting a part of yourself roam outside your body'. I get scared for her when I see any so called breaking news crime involving small kids. I feel superb when I see that naughty spark in her eyes. I feel contented when she rushes to me leaving everyone else. I love being a mom....yes a 'Real Mom'.

Copy-cat

Imagine this....

As soon as  Mishti finds no one is looking at her, she starts her 'crawl sprint' and rushes to embrace the garbage bin. As usual, her Mamma notices her beforehand.

Mamma: NOOOOOOOOO!!!! MISHTI, STOP!!! NO, NOT THERE!!!

Mishti stops on hearing this and looks back. And what Mamma sees.....a small just more than an inch index finger is raised towards Mamma coupled with small rolling eyes.

So here before I can be more careful about my body language, Mishti has showed me that how quickly a child can pick up your style and copy them on your face. Although I was aware of this fact but never thought this can happen so early ( Mishti is not yet a year old!!!).

By raising her index finger and rolling her eyes she is actually copying me which I do often when I try to stop her from doing any of her favourite doings like touching plug-points or sockets, tearing pages of any book or newspaper and then chewing those bits, embracing & licking footwear, brooms or garbage bin. I have never realized that whenever I shout a big NO at her, unconsciously my index finger is raised. Although I must admit that it is absolutely a cute sight while she does so but obviously I would never want her to pick up this body-language. My mom said she would unlearn it soon but still I think warning bell has rung for me.

Lesson for me: Stop doing anything which I don't want Mishti to do.

Old Diary 4.....

My Old diary strikes again:

गुजरे पल .....                                                       (Apr,2001)

यह ख्याल अनजाने ही दिल में आता है,

बीते दिनों में लौट जाऊं यही तो जी चाहता है....

तन्हाई में उन दिनों की याद सताती है कभी- कभी,

जब हम दोनों थे एक दूजे के लिए अजनबी .....

शख्शियत तुम्हारी और बेहतरी से समझना चाहते थे,

और इसी कोशिश में और भी करीब आ जाते ...

कुछ कशिश, कुछ कसक, कुछ तड़प , कुछ झिझक ,

कुछ हंसी, कुछ शर्म , कुछ अदा, कुछ भरम ....

अनकहे ही सारी बातें हमारे बीच कही जाती ,

साथ गुजरे उन लम्हों की याद आज भी दिल को छू कर जाती।.....

पर आज, 

जब हम दोनों ही एक खुली किताब बन चुके है,

करीब रहकर भी लगता है कोसों दूर जा चुके है....

दुनियादारी की तराजू में अब रिश्तो को तोलने लगे है,

फायदा हुआ की नुक्सान यह हिसाब जोड़ने लगे है......

बेहतर तो था वो वक़्त,वो ज़माना जो अब भी याद आता है...

फिर से दोनों का दिल अजनबी बन जाना चाहता है।......

O ri Chirraiyya .....

The show 'Satyamev Jayate' ended with this heart-wrenching song. I sat there gaping the TV set moist-eyed. How can people stoop so low and act inhumane? How can a grand-mom try to kill her infant grand-daughters? People lose their sanity to pacify their crazy want for 'boy'.......No, they are no aliens, they are someone amongst us. We cannot save our skin saying that this does not happens in our family. We have to be the part of the change......and change starts at home. 

Amir Khan meticulously sailed us through the episode and explained many points & facts in a simple language like it is the father and not mother who is responsible for the gender of the child, what is a sex ratio of 914 : 1000 actually means, etc. so that the message reaches every strata of society. He highlighted the myth that this crime is rampant only in remote rural India. When a lady who is doctor by profession narrated her horrendous story which involves active participation in crime by her medico husband, parent in-laws who were in teaching profession and other highly qualified family members sent shivers down my spine. I felt pity on our judicial system when a lawyer narrated the apathetic and insensitive way of the judge who handled one the female foeticide cases and the way even after seven years nothing happened to the exposed doctors openly conducting illegal female -foeticide. 

I really like the way this show brought up the fact that multiple crimes like human trafficking, gang-rape or eve-teasing are all inter-related with female foeticide.But, somewhere I feel that only curbing female-foeticide with iron hands won't help......might be that way more and more baby girls would be abandoned or killed as they still remain 'unwanted' by their family.  So, we have to dig the question "Why they want a boy" at first place.

A son is essential to carry forward one's 'vansh'. 

Girls are always 'Paraya Dhan'. Also, so much real-time 'dhan(money)' is required to get married this 'Paraya dhan' that people are scared to have daughters. You see, how another monster 'dowry' comfortable popped here unnoticed!!

A son would take care of his parents in old -age. Why can't a daughter take care of her parents like a son??

There might be many more reasoning going on in those people's minds who transforms into cruel cannibals for the want of a male heir.  So this issue needs to be addressed first and then other would follow eventually.

This show also highlighted the people who showed enough courage to initiate the change. We saw an illiterate vegetable vendor voiced her liking for a daughter while many highly-qualified and so called educated lot rubbed their grey cells to device more cruel way to kill unborn girls. Contrary to the common belief it is not always men who danced in this death carnival but are equally supported by female counterparts. I loved the sensible way this show was conducted and appreciate the research done to air this episode.

Being a optimist, I just hope that this show strikes the right chord in the mind of these diseased people and brings in the required change in their mindset and thought process.

Caught.....

Not a single piece of paper is hidden from her hawk eyes....here she is just out of bed and managed to chew on the leaflets which comes with newspaper.

More pearls.....

For last one week Mishti has been on Anna mode ...... this phrase is used not to demean you at all Mr. Hazare. She stopped eating all solids and wanted only milk as her meals. She has never been a fussy eater and used to eat everything that we eat....yeah, this girl had her share of kadhi, rajma, macroni, palak paneer, egg , fish , chicken....the list is long. Initially I was not much worried and thought it might be a phase which would get over soon....so, if she kept her mouth tightly shut for her dinner, I kept it aside and had my dinner ( see what kind of mom I am!!!) and gave her milk(I am dead-against force feeding). 

But when few more days passed and even her milk intake reduced, my worry button was pressed. So yesterday, we took her to doctor. After waiting for more than an hour our turn came. After check-up, he promptly declared that she is teething. This is her second set of teeth ,she already got half a dozen as first set. Doctor advised a calcium syrup & gum paint.....applying this one is really tough as this girl uses those half a dozen as perfect weapon apart from wriggling away from lap and scratching our hand when we try to do so!!!

Uff...hope this phase gets over quickly. As a layman, I do not understand that after so much issues these milk teeth comes out and sheds off after few years followed by new set of permanent teeth.....why can't we have only permanent set of teeth

Award time again...

Rahul of Desire v/s Destiny was kind enough to pass on this 'Versatile Blogger Award' to me. Thanks a ton Rahul. He did this almost a fortnight back.....but this versatile yours truly is lazy enough to delay this post.

So here are the rules of this award: 

• Nominate 10-15 fellow bloggers
•  Inform the bloggers of their nomination
•  Share 7 random things about yourself
•  Thank the blogger who nominated you (with blog link)
•  Add the Versatile Blogger Award Pic on your blog post

But I would prefer to change the order. 

Thank the blogger who nominated you (with blog link)

Again thanks a lot Rahul...I really like that you appreciated me. (No, I did not bribed Rahul or even gagged him!!!)

Share 7 random things about yourself

1. I have a transparent face....No, it does not mean that you can actually see the veins or muscles but the fact is I cannot hide my emotions, it inevitably spills on my face.

2. I am a scaredy cat....I am so scared of any living being (except human) on this earth. Forget about dogs or cats, I cannot even run fingers through furry coat of a cute rabbit or birds or even pat an innocent cow. A mouse or mole in vicinity can bring out the most versatile dance out of me!!! I am even afraid of fire a lot.....I did not knew to lit a match stick till I stayed alone.

3. I can multi-task...quote this example, me cutting veggies/talking on phone, reading a book or newspaper and simultaneously watching some silly serial on TV. If this can qualify as a multi-tasking quality then I can do similar events with lot of other activities as well.

4. I am quite opinionated. Sometimes I find it really difficult to keep them to myself and it itches me to core if someone is blabbering in front of me with wrong or half-baked facts. Due to this attribute of mine some morons has branded me as 'fire-brand' .

5. I love to read. I read so fast that I literally gobble the book. I can switch myself off from the whole world if I am reading something interesting. 

6. I like playing stupid computer games which are obviously  meant for much younger people (to be precise kids!!). Most of these are arcade games and works as stress-buster for me. This includes bursting same coloured bubbles or gems, breaking virtual bricks, arranging blocks in cybertris. I even played Farmville for a long time( before Mishti was born...now my whole house looks like some farm!!) and was obsessed with my farm....I even used to ask my hubby to feed my virtual pet while I am in office so that it doesn't runs away!!!

7.I believe in GOD but not in favour of worshipping with pomp and show. I feel connecting with GOD is something very very personal and I can do it within my heart. Saying this, I really detest any spiritualist Gurus & preachers.....do we really need so much complex gyan to link with our Almighty!!

Nominate 10-15 fellow bloggers & Inform the bloggers of their nomination

As of now I am not tagging anyone as most of the bloggers are already tagged...keeping it open and might pass it on in future. If anyone wish to pick it up...please go about it.