Mishti-ful Days!!!

Since last week Mishti was not well. The cold & cough relapsed this time with fever within 15 days. The cough was really bad one….poor girl, was getting so irritated with her ill health. Being an adult, we can clear our throat of mucus, but she felt irritated when too much cough ache her throat and would start crying which would end up in more cough. Generally cheerful Mishti was found whining, crying & throwing temper tantrums at the drop of hat.

Initially for two days I gave her some medicine for cold which her ped has prescribed previously, but when her condition remained same, we decided to visit her ped again. SG asked me to take her to hospital where he would join later after his office hours. Our auto ride to hospital was going smooth till Mishti decided to pat auto-drivers back & pull his hair!!! Thankfully, the distance was short… I leaped out of Auto hastily at the hospital after saying sorry to the driver.

While I was getting the appointment at the reception Mishti ran away to the Automatic sensor door at the entrance and started behaving as if she is a magician whose magic powers are making that door open & close again!!!

I had to drag her from there to the OPD. It was a big waiting area surrounded by various doctor cabins. Few things which Mishti did while making me run on my toes are:

• Tried to climb the ‘slide’ (a poly-fibred slide & some other toys were kept there to keep the ‘ill’ children engaged) from the wrong side, i.e. from the slanted side!!
• Tried to scare other kids (even who are twice her size) who came to get a ride to that slide. She scares people with her mouth wide open- tongue stuck out and making a noise ‘Haen- haen-haen’…weird na!!!
• Pushed the slide like an ice-cream cart all over the waiting area.
• Ran around the waiting area like a break less bike!!
• Fiddled with the taps of the water dispenser and deliberately touch the hot water tap and shout ‘Ooohss- Ooohss’!!
• Barged inside the dentist cabin twice & Orthopedics cabin once and then flashing her million dollar smile to the people inside those cabins. I had to catch her as if I am catching some hen and had to apologize to them.
• Climbed up the chair of nurse the moment she went away for some work. After that she pushed the  revolving chair kept there, meant for patients to that nurse’s knee really hard.  I was feeling like arrrrghhhh!!!
• Lied on the floor on her tummy many times……Did anybody mentioned any words like ‘germs or infection’??
• When she saw the sweeper mopping the floor with a large mop with a handle generally used in hospitals, she was amazed with the gadget. She followed that sweeper like the mice followed Pied Piper and went out of that waiting area leaving me behind. Again I had to get her back forcibly.

She is generally scared (??) when I roll my eyes and say ‘NO’….but that day my eyes almost popped out of socket but she gave a hoot. She only stopped her antics and started running when she saw me get up from my seat & rushing towards her.

By the time our turn came, I was exhausted and showering curses to SG who was getting late because of traffic jam. I clearly saw the sympathy for me in everybody’s eyes that were present there. A couple of people were kind enough to catch Mishti when she tried to run away from there!!

Finally, we met our doctor. He administered antibiotics & cough syrup. As soon I came out of his cabin I saw SG coming there. By that time I was gritting my teeth with anger!!

Anyway, after five days, Mishti is quite better now. I don’t know how parent of other toddlers give them medicine, because in Mishti's case it is a mess EVERYTIME. She would shout, scream, hit and spit out the medicine as soon as it is given. One person has to hold her hands & head and another person has to make her open her mouth & squeeze the medicine there.  Man…this is so tough!!!

Another behavior of Mishti about which I am bit concerned is that she has taken up this habit of hitting & slapping people when anything is done against her will. We never hit her.SG says it is the defense mechanism she has developed to stop us from giving medicine, but I am worried. ‘TerribleTwo’ is still 9 months away. Sometime, she vents out her anger & irritation like some adult by shouting & clenching her fist in air.

I banged my head in various sites regarding this violent behavior of Mishti and found it consoling to know that this is going to ‘just a phase’. But till this phase lasts, it is really angering & embarrassing.

Gosh….parenting comes along with so many hurdles!!

JMPE contest won......

Yayayyyy....won the prize for blogging contest by Yashodhara Lal (her debut book Just
Married, Please excuse is launched recently),would be joining the lunch with the writer & Chief Editor of Harper Collins soon.

For a rookie blogger like this is indeed an exciting moment....Looking forward for Saturday. 

Check out other wonderful entries as well....It seems like everyone has some goofy things shoved under their wedding blanket!!!

Again following Smita's book review I have ordered 'Bangalore Calling' from homeshop18. Also, it is so nice of Smita who told me about another website where I can compare the prices of books available in various online stores. Do check it out:

http://www.kbooksearch.com/

Mishti Unplugged - 15 months!!

Mishti is at her peak of cuteness phase now days. So, before I forget what all she does throughout the day, I think it is the high time I should jot it down. And, these post would be really cute to read once she grows up.

She can answer (identify & point with finger) few questions 90% of times successfully ( rest 10% of times just she would only clap instead of answering any questions!!) which are:

Where is the fan?

Where is the clock?

Where is your tummy?

Where is your nose?

Where is your tongue?

She recognizes lizards & refer them as ‘ThikThiki’ (actually lizard is called tiktiki in Bengali). The moment she finds any of these reptiles out on wall, she jumps around , chases them , stomps her feet and tries her best to shoo them away.

Soon she would be declared as an ‘Ant –eater Serial Killer’ by the ants’ community. She has a special liking for ants’ species and her taste buds starts itching when she sees any in sight. She has already chewed up almost 5-6 ants by now! Whenever I see her mauling any I have started saying ‘Please leave it, it is a baby, chhota bachha…leave it please’…….this trick works most of the time to stir her conscience!

At present she is trying her climbing skills all the time. So she is found practicing it with everything with a bit of height like sofa set, table, and bed, her tricycle, big grocery containers etc. However, some slight technical glitch still there which means she climbs up but parks her bums randomly and so most of the times it climbing – wrong bum parking- loud thud- loud cry- mamma picking her up and distracting to some other thing.

She loves the applause we give after she answers every question. Even she joins in for the clapping. Her Mashu has taught her a cheat question. When we say ‘Mishti, when is you birthday?’ she would point her index finger and we have to answer the question in background ‘It is on 1^st of June!!’ Now you understand why I say it is a cheat question, just because she is born on 1^st of any month, it has the easiest symbol attached to it – the index finger!

She has now started understanding simple instructions like ‘Please sit down’, ‘Give it to me’, ‘Come here’ and is able to catch keywords. She knows well for what all things I say ‘No-No’ and move my index finger. So, if she is going to do any of these things first she would look at everyone present in the room and sway her index fingers to them as if they are going to do that and proceeds to do that. Examples are, touching TV screen, pulling out plaster from damp wall, touching shoe rack, mashing the ants …..List is long.

She loves to play with anything which is not her toys. So you can find random utensils, TV remote, cushions, newspapers, shoes lying in every possible places of our house where it is not supposed to be!

She likes to go through her books, although the maximum attention span to them is still very negligible. She can point out the buffalo & pig if that particular page is open. She also raises one hand, sways it and says ‘Yaaaaaaaannnnn’ when asked ‘Elephant says…..?’ . Her book reading process is quite weird though…she holds our finger and makes it go through it and point out various pictures and with every picture we have say what it is like ‘duck’, ‘crow’, ‘horse’ etc.! She likes to read (see) the ‘Ant & Pigeon’ books herself and can identify the hunter when asked.

Her latest achievement is that when I say this question -answer: ‘What is your name, my name is Ishaani Ghosh’, she would say her last name as ‘Go’ with me & then clap-clap-clap!!

She has some previous birth relation with Salman Khan & Ranbir Kapoor….even if their slow songs are aired she is glued to TV set.

I am sure, I must be missing out so many antics of her…leaving it for another post.

Monkeying around with her cycle!!

Love Marriage V/s Arranged Marriage

Love Marriage V/s Arranged Marriage....

When I first read about this contest, thoughts & counter logic started oozing my mind, but as I sat down to jot down those thoughts it was all muzzled up and confusing. I felt that the reason behind it is because of my neutral views about the subject.

As per my opinion, both types of marriages carry their own baggage. We cannot generalize them under any particular category and measure their success quotient by applying single formula to all these marriages.

I have seen carefully chosen & perfectly matched arranged alliances going haywire and also passionately loving couple getting married after almost 7 years of ‘knowing each other’ and then filing for divorce after couple of years, following a series of ugly incidents.

My idea of marriage includes few important components without which whatever might have been the path of marriage – love or arranged, it is bound to show up cracks……..which either the couple try to fill up with compromise or just let it be there to widen and eventually break up.

First and foremost thing is ‘Mutual Respect’. Yes, if the partners lack the respect then it obviously reflects in their behavior which ends up in hurt sentiments & chipped ego. Be it a Love Marriage (LM) or Arranged Marriage (AM) if the ‘Mutual Respect’ is missing then partners end up fighting with each other hurling sarcastic & irrelevant remarks on each other.

The next is ‘Understanding’. This factor requires lots of maturity from both the partners. Sometimes you just have to understand the emotions & behavior of each other and their respective circumstances to flow freely through this river of marriage.

Another key factor is ‘Expectations’. This develops on the platform of an individual’s upbringing, thoughtprocess & mentality. Wrong or unrealistic expectations kill the marriage – be it LM or AM. One of my ex-colleague boasted about his passionate love story and was always showing off his intense love for his partner. The girl was a MBA & was working in a MNC. She came from a liberal family. Boy was quite aware of her & her family’s contemporary views but the moment they got married he expected her to become docile daughter-in-law who never opens her mouth in front of her in-laws, not even for eating food ( forget about expressing opinions)!!!

Then there are other factors like ‘care’, ‘love’, ‘concern’ & 'attachment'. Many would be surprised with this fact that I have not given ‘love’ that much of importance in the hierarchy. It is because I believe that over a period of time in any healthy relationship these factors develop & grows eventually.

Then there are so many stereotypes attached to both LM & AM.

Some people say that Love marriages fall apart easily because of lack of social security. But that is quite a hideous statement. It is all between the chemistry of partners which takes the situation in its desired direction – positive or negative. So, even if there is an arranged marriage and the tuning is loose, it might go ashtray.

Sometimes, parents & family members take it personally on their ego if the children want to marry their choice of partner. They just cannot accept to let the ‘control' go out of their hands. Bu they just forget that if a person is old enough to vote & elect a government then why he/she can’t chose their life partner. One of my neighbors who is searching an alliance for her son want her DIL to be less educated & very average looking ( yes, she mentioned these eligibility criteria)!!! The reason of her choice is that then the girl would lack in confidence & never dare to speak back to her husband & in-laws. I really feel pity for the would -be DIL who would be brought in the chess game of the house politics as a pawn by the queen bee who loves to reign the house!!!

My personal opinion also negates this concept of love in the whole affair of ‘love marriage’. I feel that unless & until you stay with a person & share the same house you are not able to understand the actual person to a large extent. Everybody presents their best face forward when they meet their heartthrobs or fiancée. So, even if the AM advocates shout about the liberal courtship allowed nowadays before any AM or the LM supporters vouch on their years of ‘seeing each other’, it remains incomplete & veiled till the time both the partners stay with each other to observe & absorb habits, behavior & way of living.

So here I see that I am back to square one where I started this post. It may sound like some rant but I cannot help it much. I mentioned earlier that I have quite mixed opinion about this topic.

This post is my entry for the Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage on Indiblogger.

Downpour in Gurgaon....!!!

Rain drops splatter on parched Gurgaon!

Washing away all the dust....it even makes this 'concrete jungle' look beautiful sometimes!

A colourful 'token gift' left back by heavy showers!

The 'Just Married, Please Excuse' Contest

Since yesterday when I bumped into this contest by Yashodhara whose debut book has been launched recently, my blogging fingers itched to jot down few of the weird moments of our married life. Also, how can I not mention the highlighted words which caught my attention like “Mamagato”, “Gurgaon”, “free copies of book” and gave me a bleak hope that being a blogger from Gurgaon might act as an added advantage in my favour. (errr kidding….huh! :-))

As I go through Yashodhara’s blog and keep reading her previous posts, I regret why I have not been at her space earlier….Anyway, better late than never!

So here I try to recap few incidents related to our marriage and just after that.

Our marriage ceremony was packed with ‘comedy of errors & misunderstandings’. All Baraatis dispersed & went back home leaving few young cousins and an aunt of SG behind even before the completion of marriage rituals due to some stupid misunderstandings. The groom side priest took advantage of the situation and left hastily after them citing some weird excuses without completing all the important rituals….like Saptapadi or Saat pheras was skipped completely!!

In the midst of all these confusions, while my side priest was conducting the ritual of ‘Sampradan /Kanyadaan’, another funny incident happened which we noticed only when the video recordings were seen later.  SG’s knowledge of Bengali language is quite limited…while he can speak it mixed with a perfect north Indian accent, he, kind of struggles and gets confused if somebody speaks in fluent Bengali. So we saw in the video that SG was trying hard to follow instructions from our priest about when to repeat the ‘shlokas/mantras’, when to fold hands and so on. When the priest asked my dad to repeat after him the mantras of Kanyadaan, he also instructed SG to keep his hand on mine. GOD only knows  what SG understood & the next thing we saw him repeating the mantras of ‘Kanyadaan’ after the priest. So, in case we take all these rituals seriously( I generally don’t..!) it indicates that my dad performed my ‘Kanyadaan’  to SG and the ‘SG’ did my ‘Kanyadaan’ to GOD knows whom!!

***************************************************************************************************

This second incident falls completely in the category of ‘Just married’ if in case the first one fails to make the entry because of the fact that we were still not ‘completely’ married then.

At the time of my ‘Grihapravesh’ in SG’s house, we had a seriously stupid ritual where I (bride) had to hold a ‘live’ fish kept in a bowl of water with my hand for couple of minutes!!! 

Here I should mention that I am a scaredy cat....I am very scared of any living being (except human) on this earth. Forget about dogs or cats, I cannot even run fingers through furry coat of a cute rabbit or birds or even pat an innocent cow. A mouse or mole in vicinity can bring out the most ‘versatile’ dance out of me!!! 

Anyway, I digress. Now, when I had to hold that slimy moving fish I was petrified. Being a new bride, I was even not able to refuse to participate in it outright. I tried to put my best brave face forward, but, the very moment my fingers touched that fish which wriggled away splashing water, all my acting skills botched. I shrieked, jumped, shouted and people even witnessed that ‘versatile’ dance by me duly applauded by my perfect hubby in the background!!

*****************************************************************************************************

The third incident happened just few days after my marriage when relatives had dwindled back to their home and we were just enjoying our marriage vacation at my in-laws place.

One evening I wanted to eat Momos, but in that city we don't get roadside stalls to buy  momos easily like we get in Delhi NCR. I thought of bugging SG about it and also test his ‘hubby skills’ to fulfill wife’s abrupt demands.

As SG was in FIL’s shop that time so that my FIL can take some rest I tried calling him on his cell phone. When I realized that he has forgotten his mobile phone in his room, I called on the landline number.

(The conversation happened in Hindi)

Me: Hello, Ghosh!! (Yes, I used to call him with his last name)

Other side:  Haan..Kaun? (Yes.. who is this?)              

Me: Sun na….Yahan Momos milta hai kya?? (Listen…Do we get Momos here?)

Other side: Kya…kya chahiye ?? ( What…What do you want?)          

Me: Arre…Momos !!! yahan pe momos kahan milega!! ( Momos!!!....Where can we get Momos here!)

Other side: Jee…ye to hamari dukan me nahin milega…aap kahin aur pata kar lijiye. (This is not available in our shop…you enquire somewhere else.)

Me: ????

Then suddenly I realized that it was my FIL’s voice which I mistaken for SG. And how can I forget that SG is not the only ‘Ghosh’ here but I am surrounded by the whole ‘Ghosh’ clan.  I hurriedly hung up and cursed my stupidity for this ’face-palm’ moment!! When SG came to know about it…..like a perfect hubby, he shared it with everyone in the family embarrassing me to the core.

While writing this post, I felt that walking down this specific memory lane is quite fun. Thanks to this contest for letting me revive this enjoyment.

Maa ka Dupatta Laoongi Wapas...!!!

I had already mentioned in my blog that Mishti is a great fan of music....and if it is teamed up with animation...it becomes 'Sone pe Suhaga'. I have to keep myself updated with new videos as she tend to get bored with them soon...means she would still listen and sway her body but the utility from my perspective (making her eat food!!) reduces to a large extent.

Check Out this Video(esp at 2.08 mins):

Mishti likes this video clip a lot ...giggles &  even shrieks with the crying cat in the animation. But this girl is such a copy-cat and I am quite amazed with the speed these toddlers pick up what they see & hear....So, whenever it shows that part where 'Chulbuli' clench her fist and determines to get back her mom's 'dupatta' from mischievous wind....Mishti also does the same!

Now, even if the video is not there and any of us say "Maa ka Dupatta Laoongi Wapas", she stops and clenches her fist near her waist...and it somewhat looks like Amitabh Bachhan's famous body language when he says "Hain"!!!

We are loving these antics of li'l lady so much that we are repeating that phrase often and like a pro she is also repeating her act!!...Little does she know that her own mom has only two salwar kameez which requires 'Dupatta'...and which she rarely wears, otherwise she is just comfortable in her Kurtis, tees & tops!

P.S. I am bit off blogging nowadays as I ordered & received two books from Homeshop18 recently. I found this site better than even Flipkart...actually I matched prices of few books and found Homeshop18 is far cheaper.

And yes, those two books are although not so latest but I found them interesting through Smita's book review page.

1.) Secrets & Lies

2.) Bombay Duck is a fish 

What if....!!!!

What if , my maid has not noticed Mishti dangling her legs out of staircase railings on time? My heart just shudders with the mere thought of what had happened next. I am still feeling that numbness in my thought-process.

I am feeling so guilty. I admit the responsibility of today's could-have-happened mishap lies completely on me. So, learnt the lesson by heart and would never-ever repeat my actions.

Today I had to visit my orthopaedic for regular check-up & a blood test at around 6PM. SG was supposed to come back late from work. My sis has left early for her office. In evening I got Mishti ready and send her my neighbour's place (their apartment is just opposite to ours, same lobby). Mishti likes to play with their pet dog and even the lady is quite affectionate towards her. She is a mid-aged lady with two grown-up kids. I have taken her advice in lot many matters related to parenting and found her tips always useful. Let me call her V.

As my hospital is nearby, so I thought that I should let Mishti play there, in the meantime I can come back from there and also taking her to hospital without any reason meant inviting fresh rounds of infection (last time she rolled on the floor there & licked the chairs in the waiting area!!!). I asked my neighbour and she heartily agreed. 

When I came back, I met another next-door neighbour(P) of mine in the housing complex lawn. ( We have three apartments in every lobby). She informed me hesitatingly about the incident. My maid who also works at P's house came out after finishing her work and found Mishti has climbed almost 7 stairs in the lobby and is dangerously dangling her leg outside the iron railing which is between second & third floor. Those grills have enough gap which could have caused something fatal. I can thank my stars that in few of those grills P's FIL has tied some nylon ropes as their kid is just an year older than Mishti...and those gaps are really dangerous for small kids.

My maid rushed back to P's house and called her who came out and thought Mishti sneaked out of our house. She started calling me. V suddenly came out after hearing this commotion and took Mishti back to her house apologetically. She admitted her carelessness and accepted that her attention got diverted as an important person ( some priest!!)*** came to her house and that is why even her iron grill door was half-open through which Mishti managed to sneak out!!

P repeatedly asked me not to lose my temper or react adversely while narrating the incident. Surprisingly, I did not felt any anger or grudge for my neighbour V at all. It seemed to me that my mind did not allowed me to think about what could have happened. Strange numbness engulfed my thoughts. I went to V's place and did not mentioned anything that I know about that happening. She herself told me and I did not gave any heed to the matter further. I somehow held myself responsible for all this...I should not have left my kid like that. 

And also if you are not a parent of a toddler ( or have forgotten the feeling), you cannot relate to the amount of vigilance we keep on these kids....whatever we do our one eye is fixed on them. So I am not able to blame that lady V....her attention span just shifted for hardly five minutes and Mishti managed to set out on her exploration trip!!

Anyway, lesson of the day, I am not going to leave Mishti with anybody other than few of my close people till the time she is not able to take care of herself.

Thank You GOD for being there.

*** Why the priest visited her place is an interesting story which is matter for another post...that might explain why she got distracted with his visit.

Gold - Shold...hai Rabba!!

So, here I am back again to my blog after couple of weeks. No, I was not busy or something...just going through a low & depressed mental state and nothing in this world appealed to me. There are almost three incomplete posts in my draft which I never had the zeal left to complete & publish them. It is like I am having 'writer's block' ( wow!! it sounds so upmarket :-) ). Although I am yet to come out of my low phase but still kinda dragged myself to complete this post ( actually, just wanted to write something).

Few days back, my mom informed me about a daylight robbery in our locality of my hometown. We know the family well, that lady is also my MIL's friend. That lady and her DIL were watching TV when around 3 PM three robbers entered their house point their gun at them. The robbers directly enquired about the jewellery kept in the house without wasting a single moment. Then they ransacked the lockers after gagging and tying both the ladies. The managed to loot jewellery worth few lakhs!!

This incident was quite surprising as their house is located on the main road and a school & small market is situated just opposite to the house. The local police station is in the same row just few houses away. Also, the first floor of the house is rented to the family of a policeman!! The first thing came to my mind after hearing this incident that the robbers had 'pakka' information about the jewellery kept in the house...otherwise nobody is such a fool to conduct this plan randomly to loot something handy as well as  valuable like jewellery( TV, AC, Car cannot be looted in broad daylight..)

Second Thing, I felt very little sympathy for the family. I do not understand why people are so much fantasized by this "GOLD". Personally, I never found "gold" irresistible or show-stopper from a jewellery point of view. First of all, I do not understand how this golden shade can be 'matching' to all my outfits. Then another logic of mine says, boss, gone are the days when you can flaunt your wealth only by wearing gold...those were raja-maharaja or zamindari days. Now, you can show-off your money with a flashy car or a obnoxiously huge house or posting pics of your exotic holidaysof foreign locales in FB!!!

Also, if you still want to own gold...go for the ETF way na...that online gold thing. I understand in earlier days, people use to save and buy gold ornaments as a mode of their 'contingency planning'. But now a days, so many other methods are available...you can invest in property, ULIPs, mutual funds etc. And for ornament prupose buy the artificial fancy jewellery ...they look good and match with your dress, cost less and would pinch your pocket less if robbed, stolen or misplaced.

Also, it is sheer foolishness to keep so much jewellery at home which obviously would invite robbers if the news gets leaked somehow. I have already warned my mom & MIL...but somehow, my MIL has her own logics in favour of her jewellery. She cannot resist the temptation of wearing a thick gold chain around her neck and then would try to cover it her 'sari pallu' in busy public places!!!

Anyway, this incident had also scared me a bit as my parents stay alone there. I am not quite worried about my in-laws place which is in the same locality as their shop runs in the ground floor and the whole house has almost 6-7 workers and helpers alongwith my parent-inlaws.

What is your opinion about gold jewellery??

Jane Kya Soche Mann Bawra.....

Following the trend of blogging in pointers, here I am just trying to spill out what going in my mind and my life.

1. After reading an article which talks about the different side of Guwahati molestation case, I don't know why but somehow I am feeling disgusted. Read the article and you would know how efficiently media played its role and what kind of politics wrapped mud-slinging is going on over this incident. There were more articles in the same website which enlightened various other aspects of the issue but I felt pukish to read more of it.
2. The photographs of the main accused of Guwahati incident is flooding the virtual world. Might be sharing his snaps would not budge the slacking law system and sick mindset of similar oxymorons but at least that sicko is getting his share of curses & 'badnami' all over his FB page. Social networking has some good aspects as well!!
3. Demise of Rajesh Khanna has given all the news channels enough fodder to last for at least a week now. I am not a great fan of this personality but somehow the songs lip-synced by him and sung by Kishore Kumar are my all-time favourite. I actually detest this person for his chauvinistic persona. But today when they were showing his funeral procession with his immortal songs playing in background surprisingly I felt lump in my throat!!
4. Now on personal front, Can somebody please explain SG that he is not the only daddy in this world who's brat throws tantrums while combing and tying Ariel like ponytails to her hair. Whenever he finds me having a tug-O-war with Mishti for managing her unruly hair, he makes constipated faces and try to act as a saviour for her darling.
5. Some people are really getting on my nerves with their showing off attitude. I understand you are into something big and appreciate your dedication towards your newly chosen career path of 'Direct Marketing system' or what you call it as 'e-commerce'. I have already made you clear that it is not my cup of tea. You might be sleeping on bags of dollars by acquiring this concept in your life, but I am comfortable in my simple mattress. Also, just because you are this self proclaimed entrepreneur now, don't show-off yourself as the most wise person on this planet and others who are not into your 'business'  are morons. The more you put up stirring status on FB, more you prove your immature buffoonery.
6. My belief that 'too much proximity spoils the aura of a relationship' is strengthened while one of our common friends stayed with us for few(??) days. I tried to extend my help in their turmoil times where they had to search for a rented house in Gurgaon after being transferred and genuinely welcome them while they came here to stay for a week. But, later on I felt like being taken for granted when they showed quite casual attitude in their house-hunt procedure and highlighted some negative point or other in every house they see.But it went off the limit when they extended their stay for another week without consulting us even after getting the house on pretext of shifting, getting it cleaned, unpacking .....means they would keep on unpacking their stuff and decorate the house with wall-hangings instead of getting the AC fixed first and would visit my place for dinner & sleep. I don't know I hate acting this mean, but felt taken for granted. Somehow, I feel better as I get these thoughts out of my system!!
7. My weight issue needs serious addressing now. My 'Madhya Pradesh' still looks like as if I am 7-8 months preggo!! I would be visiting my doctor this weekend to get it checked. Let's see what she has to say about it.  My brisk walk schedule took a backseat with array of guest in house as my whole time vanished in cooking only...charged up to start again tomorrow.
8. Suddenly felt that it has been long that I did a post on new antics of  Mishti.,so next post is going to be on li'l brat only :-)

My World through my Chhotu eyes...!!!

(Shishu-Yoga)

(My way to view this complicated world!!)

Choices of life...!!

While reading a thought -provoking post by ZM, my mind pondered to my life's situation when I chose to be a SAHM after Mishti was born. It was a radical change in my life and took me long to get myself in-sync with this change.

It was a mixed bag of emotions for me. On one hand I was experiencing one of the beautiful experience of my life - motherhood while on the other hand my mind still struggling hard to tackle the array of emotions which kept flashing after my designation changed. Sometimes I fretted, some days I snapped while there were so many other instances when I felt really good about my decision.

In fact, my second post in this blog talked about this perplexed state of mine. I had the option to start working after my maternity leave by hiring maids but somehow, I was not convinced with this idea. It was hard for me. I candidly admit here that I love getting appreciation for my work. So, after enjoying being in limelight for so many years while connecting with so many people, suddenly moving to backstage was very difficult initially. I sensed that void and felt guilty of lacking motherly feelings!!

But never, ever I felt that I am 'sacrificing' my life for Mishti.How can I even think about it? Our child was planned by us only. It is not that like some mythological times a little soul came to our dreams and asked for shelter in my womb. We, in our perfect senses, brought that little soul on this earth. And obviously, we were aware that the baby would not be able to cook her own lunch & clean her soiled nappies on her own within a month of her birth!!

While ZM shared her post on FB, few people (most of them are new mommies) gave their wonderful views on this issue. One of the ladies literally echoed my thought. She mentioned how a child is parents's responsibility. I also feel the same that it is not a favour to Mishti by me to bring her in this world.An also, I am not doing any 'Big' favour by doing her chores till the time she is independent enough.I have heard many people saying to their children that how they have spend sleepless nights and slogged to nurture their kids when they were dependent for everything on their parents. That is simply weird, means boss you never asked the kid while he/she was in your womb to sign the deal that he/she has to pay-back for their upbringing.

Anyway, I digress. Coming back to my life, it was completely my choice and nobody forced me to take this decision. Regarding the negative feelings, you get those while you take various other decisions in your life, right!!. You chose to get married and later on , in some low moments you feel bad about your decision. You chose to change your job and sometime feel afterwards that previous job profile was better. It comes naturally to human nature.But the fact remains that I chose to stay back at home because I felt better if I take care of her. Mind the phrase "I felt better"!!!

I am happy now that I lived through my choice. It might be possible that I start job-hunt in near future but then again it would be my choice. I believe that every choice you opt in your life brings lot of changes and sometimes these changes cause too many ripples but beyond those waves there lies the vast sea which would make you feel great about your decision...subject to, if you have chosen the path wisely!!!

So folks, chose your path intelligently and live through your choice.

Oooops Moment...!!!

As the title suggests this post is going to capture one of the most embarrassing incident of my life ( although I have got lots of these 'Chop-suey' moments in my kitty, but thought of sharing only one at a time).

To make this post more interesting I would also tag few wonderful bloggers by the end of this post in order to extract their 'Ooops moment' through their post.

This happened almost a decade ago while I was in college. I used to hang out in a group ( not from college) and this group included even our siblings. We roamed around on our two-wheelers to movies, exhibitions & trade fairs. One day we planned to watch some movie in cinema hall....mind it, in my home town, there were no multiplexes those days, those were plain cinema- halls which bragged about their (always) dysfunctional invisible air-conditioners!!. 

There were a bunch of three such cinema-halls in Allahabad in one of its congested areas which was quite far -away from our locality.As per our plan, in order to save time everybody would reach directly to that hall which was located in between the other two halls. So, one of the guys ( with whom I was going around that time..) picked me up from my college on his two-wheeler and we headed for the destination. Both of us were not too sure about the location of that hall....just aware of the way to reach that particular area. Mobile phones were not common that time. It was a rainy day and we had planned to watch 12PM show. After reaching that over-crowded locality we lost our way...we were feeling too shy to ask people...as a young guy & a girl riding one vehicle asking directions for a cinema hall in that typically crammed area would invite uncomfortable glances from strange people ( yesss...my home town mindset was this kind of strange!!).

Anyway, we finally managed to locate that jam-packed lane in which those cinema -halls existed.To avoid the downpour we directly went inside the cinema-hall's campus and halted the vehicle under the shade of the porch of that building. Strangely, none of our friends have reached there although it was almost 12PM. All of a sudden, I noticed that I was the only female standing in that whole campus and almost hundred pair of creepy & uncanny pair of eyes are observing me from top-to-toe!! I told this to my friend who promptly asked me to ignore the stares. But when like almost 10 minutes passed and none of our other friends turned up, we started worrying. By this time, few weird looking guys were almost standing close to us. My friend went towards the gate to look out for our group but came back rushing within a minute with a whacko expression on his face and started his vehicle instantly. He asked me in a hush- hush but peculiar tone to ride on the pillion seat immediately. We moved out of that cinema- hall campus within seconds and  now I realized that instead of entering the second hall we had entered in the first hall which came to our sight in that lane.

Now the CLIMAX!!! When I noticed the name of the film that was screening in that cinema-hall I was appalled. It was some porn movie "Kamsin Kali Ki Pyasi Jawani"!!! Eeeewwwww!!!Both of us forgot to breathe for few minutes and heaved a sigh of relief when we reach the right hall and found our friends. That guy was so nervous that he drank a whole bottle of water. I was embarrassed, and feeling soooo awkward as our younger siblings were also there. We still thank our stars that we haven't entered inside the hall directly or queue up for the tickets of that 'Movie'. 

We still laugh at this incident and SG irritatingly comments that he misses a handicam which could have captured my expressions that time!!!

So now I am tagging the following bloggers..What's you 'Ooops Moment' guys!!:

Zoe's Mom : I know that her blog is dedicated to her toddler only but would love to read her style of writing on this topic.

Green Boochi(GB): I have lots of expectation from you darling!! :-D So start tapping the keyboard instantly.

Sumita: Another mommy blogger but also writes nice stuff about various aspects of life.

Radhika: A young blogger with a nice flair of writing.

R's Mom: One of my favourite blogger whose post I look forward every(week-day) morning!! 

Scribby: Another blogger whose post I have started liking very much. Would love to read a post from you.

Seema: A wonderful blogger who write beautiful posts about her twins. She has been busy lately, so take your time dear!!

Would like if you also pass on this tag to 7 other bloggers and then I can feel that I am not the only one who lands herself in soup often!!

P.S. Please bear with the weird formatting of the post as I changed my template and now struggling to straighten this font colour & font background colour...

Parenting & Letting Go...

It has been almost a fortnight that I am out of touch from this blog-world...not exactly out-of-touch as I managed to sneak some time to read blogs flashing my reader but was really dormant about commenting and writing new post. Reason was primarily array of guests in my house. Anyway, all these days my blogging fingers were itching to pen down my thoughts on a topic about which I read some fabulous posts written by my favorite bloggers recently. You can read them here:

RM's post on Letting Go

Scribby's post on Parenting- Push & Pull

Although I want to write so many things about this sensitive topic of parenting but somewhere inside I feel scared & apprehensive as well. I mean I am yet to be aware of my parenting style as Mishti is only a year old. But one thing I am sure about is that my tolerance level to deal with nonsense is quite low. I am not a parenting expert and has my own doubts regarding the various shades of 'Letting Go' in parenting. I would like to quote RM's words here:

If you give too much freedom, the child becomes a brat, if you don't give freedom, the child becomes a recluse. 

Now this is something I dread of. I must admit here that I am kinda 'control freak' but in a different sense. Sometimes I do feel that I tend to influence other's thought process & decisions.....and I do this very convincingly without even offending the other person!!! So, with this trait of mine I always scare of crossing that fine line of 'giving & not giving' freedom to Mishti.

As I write about 'freedom in parenting' here, it remains incomplete if I do not mention the way I & my sis were brought up. My dad defied all our relatives & people around us with his parenting style. We were groomed from very childhood to speak our mind & perceive and experience the world outside with our own eyes. Hand-holding was minimal at our household. But it never meant that we were left alone to go haywire.Although I have to digress from the actual point but would like recall few things which are ingrained inside me.

This incident happened when I was very young (might be about 6-7 years) and I am astonished that how I still remember it. In our town, the 'kabadi wala' ( scrap-dealer) would ferry with his cart in residential by-lanes and buy the clutters from people. To make people aware of their presence they would shout at the top of the voice in a very mechanical tone .."Kabaaaadi wallllee". One day, I was found shouting in the same manner mockingly. Immediately I was called by my dad who asked me to stop that nonsense and then explained me how that person is doing it for his livelihood.....how we should not look down any profession...and how "koi kaam chhota nahin hota".

In my home, we (me & my sis) never ever vent out our anger on food. It was unimaginable for us to skip meals to blackmail parents to make them succumb to any of our demands. 

It was so nicely inculcated by my parents to not to form any opinion about something or somebody with other's version. Like many other family even they had their difference of opinion with some of the relatives but we kids, were never taught to disrespect them by painting a negative image of  theirs. We grew up and understood ourselves that who is what!

My dad has been blamed with giving too much freedom to his daughters which everybody felt would result in  a spoilt set of of 'loose sisters'. But to people's dismay we faired well than those who were kept protected and sheltered always. I am really thankful to my parents for bringing us up giving enough freedom and let us learn from our experiences.Few times I felt really bad like when I had to go all alone to the cycle-shop to get it mended or when I had stand in the long-queue of my college to deposit the fees while parents of other girls of my age did these chores themselves, but now I realise how much these small experiences helped me in developing my personality.

Anyway, coming back to the topic. I am not very sure about this 'letting go' thing....but one thing I am sure that I want Mishti to be self reliant and would try my best to help her in that. One of my friend stayed with me for few days lately with her two kids ( aged 10 years & 4 months respectively). Now this elder one was brought up in her maternal grand parent's place till she was 5 years old. This kid was the worst case of 'picky eater' I have ever seen. She took more than 1.5 hours to finish her each meal and would chew only when her mom would mix the food for her. Her mom would brag how this kid frowns if the lunch menu is normal Dal-Rice - Veggies and how she tries her best to vary the menu everyday with idlis/pasta/dosa/pav-bhaji. I know it is too early for me to comment on this situation as I am yet to experience the kids of similar age in my household. But somehow, I am not very comfortable with this situation. For me, I can prepare all these stuffs once in a while or might be in breakfast/snack but they can never be traded with proper lunch.I also found the kid munching on some chips packet just before dinner and yes she literally struggled to finish her dinner. My friend & her kid offered those chips to Mishti as well which I politely refused and found my friend make a pity face for Mishti (as if Bechaari Mishti ...she got a tyrant mom who deprives her from the tasty foods of this world!!!).

On the other hand, as I take Mishti to the housing -complex lawn in evening and let her play with other kids, sometimes she rolls on the grass..which I let her do or even some other kid of same age group try to play with her (mind it...their playing includes sudden hugging or mild pushing or pulling other's dress) , I let her play that till the time it is safe. There are many ladies who act as referee for their kids or just ferry them in lap to avoid rolly-polly on grass!! I know, I am criticized behind my back about my parenting style. While they discuss how they managed to force feed their kids I simply keep myself out of discussion as I disapprove this  force feeding and generally start eating my lunch if Mishti is creating too much fuss with her food...and believe me, 90% of times she comes back and has her food with me. They think about me as quite 'Chillax' kind of mom!! 

However, at times now I have started showing off my 'disciplinarian' avatar. Mishti has already started throwing tantrums and shrieking & crying loud to get her demands fulfilled. That day, when my friend was still at my place Mishti behaved this way. My sis took out a bottle from refrigerator and Mishti wanted that...my sis poured some water in her sipper and gave her but she started shrieking to get that bottle. My friend asked my sis to give it to her for sometime as she would get distracted soon to something else....but I intervened and kept back that bottle in refrigerator. Mishti continued howling and crying but I did not complied to her 'Zid'.

I feel that we cannot let the kid get away with their will as she is too young. We just cannot get up some day and start with our discipline regime....it has to be there from the beginning to avoid sending confusing signals to the child.

Concluding my post with some nice words by Scribby :

So, push or pull or both in balance,what you do with your child really matters in the long run and the learning starts from parents,so there!

Darlings of Earth...!!

Re-blogged from my post published in 'Darlings of Venus'.


What comes in your mind when in you hear the below mentioned incidents? Like when we hear any crime news  in some 'breaking news' channel, most of us has somewhere in our mind that it doesn't happens in our social circle. Read this:

Incident 1: A mother who delivered her baby 7 months back and has been working in a MNC prior to her delivery has to stay back at her parents' house. Her husband has visited her only twice and MIL once post delivery even if the distance between two places is within 30 Kms. All the expenses of delivery and post that is taken care by the parents of the girl as her own salary/savings account is controlled solely by her husband who happens to be a well known orthopaedic surgeon. They made her and her new born feel uncomfortable & unwelcome in all possible ways. Should I have to mention here that new born is a girl!!!

Incident 2: A single mother who works in a bank is beaten black & blue by her brother. He along with his family members justifies this action as an action he did to discipline (!!) his sister. As per him just because she is earning and has 'no man' in her life to control her therefore he obliged to volunteer for taking up the task of controlling her.

Incident 3: A hearing-speech impaired girl is married off to some person (hiding the truth) by her family members. Obviously they find out & send back the girl to her parent's place while she was pregnant. Her husband was furious that girl's parents have fooled him by passing on a 'defective piece'. Her kid was born at her parent's place and she takes care of her baby whole day. After 3 years, husband comes back and offers to take her back. However he seems not interested in taking responsibility of the kid. Her parents again bundle her up with him and keep the kid with them. They are happy now that their girl is 'accepted' by her husband but completely ignore the pitiable mental condition of the girl who was estranged from her 3 year old.

I am not reading out any newspaper to you. I know all these families and couple of them are even so-called 'well educated'. They stay in this millennium city in up market areas. But how that education or their residential location does make any difference to their Neanderthal mindset and thought process. The XX chromosome is always unwelcome in their families. They want the wholesome control on the women folk of their life. This baton of control is passed on to another man by the institution called 'marriage'. Since childhood she is conditioned to surrender her lever of control to the man of her life...it can be grandfather, father, brother, husband,FIL, BIL, son. Independent thinking, decision making, taking control of her own life are considered a sin for her. Her conditioning make her believe that she is ought to be treated this way and thus even a women also reinforces this biased fact to her children.

While the hate groups of Amir Khan increases manifold after he took up to discuss sensitive topics through 'Satyamev Jayate', can we still choose to behave like 'ostriches in storm'. Amir is not showing something new or bizarre, these are naked truth which lies beneath the various layers of our society. As an individual, we can stand against any discrimination by passing on the right mindset to at least one person or make a difference to at least one life around us. I start this trend by bringing up my daughter with right attitude and groom her to become an independent individual devoid of any gender stereotype...What about you??

Looking forward for that day when all "Darlings of Venus" would also become "Darlings of Earth" in true sense :-D