Friday, 6 July 2012

Choices of life...!!

While reading a thought -provoking post by ZM, my mind pondered to my life's situation when I chose to be a SAHM after Mishti was born. It was a radical change in my life and took me long to get myself in-sync with this change.
It was a mixed bag of emotions for me. On one hand I was experiencing one of the beautiful experience of my life - motherhood while on the other hand my mind still struggling hard to tackle the array of emotions which kept flashing after my designation changed. Sometimes I fretted, some days I snapped while there were so many other instances when I felt really good about my decision.

In fact, my second post in this blog talked about this perplexed state of mine. I had the option to start working after my maternity leave by hiring maids but somehow, I was not convinced with this idea. It was hard for me. I candidly admit here that I love getting appreciation for my work. So, after enjoying being in limelight for so many years while connecting with so many people, suddenly moving to backstage was very difficult initially. I sensed that void and felt guilty of lacking motherly feelings!!
But never, ever I felt that I am 'sacrificing' my life for Mishti.How can I even think about it? Our child was planned by us only. It is not that like some mythological times a little soul came to our dreams and asked for shelter in my womb. We, in our perfect senses, brought that little soul on this earth. And obviously, we were aware that the baby would not be able to cook her own lunch & clean her soiled nappies on her own within a month of her birth!!

While ZM shared her post on FB, few people (most of them are new mommies) gave their wonderful views on this issue. One of the ladies literally echoed my thought. She mentioned how a child is parents's responsibility. I also feel the same that it is not a favour to Mishti by me to bring her in this world.An also, I am not doing any 'Big' favour by doing her chores till the time she is independent enough.I have heard many people saying to their children that how they have spend sleepless nights and slogged to nurture their kids when they were dependent for everything on their parents. That is simply weird, means boss you never asked the kid while he/she was in your womb to sign the deal that he/she has to pay-back for their upbringing.

Anyway, I digress. Coming back to my life, it was completely my choice and nobody forced me to take this decision. Regarding the negative feelings, you get those while you take various other decisions in your life, right!!. You chose to get married and later on , in some low moments you feel bad about your decision. You chose to change your job and sometime feel afterwards that previous job profile was better. It comes naturally to human nature.But the fact remains that I chose to stay back at home because I felt better if I take care of her. Mind the phrase "I felt better"!!!

I am happy now that I lived through my choice. It might be possible that I start job-hunt in near future but then again it would be my choice. I believe that every choice you opt in your life brings lot of changes and sometimes these changes cause too many ripples but beyond those waves there lies the vast sea which would make you feel great about your decision...subject to, if you have chosen the path wisely!!!
So folks, chose your path intelligently and live through your choice.


12 comments:

  1. So well said and mighty sensible post Nibedita. I strongly echo your thoughts, at last I found somebody who beautifully put it. I am a SAHM after a successful stint in IT industry for 7 yrs. I strongly believe rearing my child is my responsibility, not my mothers, not my MIL's, not any maid's nor professional carer. I planned my pregnancy only when I was certain I was ready for it and be able to devote my time with my child without any other obligations. It was a pure n natural decision. I dont think it was sacrificial, even corrected ppl when they thought I was sacrificing my career. I think it's mutual, ur child needs you and vice versa. Most ppl justify doing jobs for the sake of gaining identity/own money, etc but I beg to differ. Staying at home doesn't mean losing identity, my identity is my individuality not my career. The child needs a mom the most in the early formative years, will not working for a year or two lose your identity?? I don't think so. I believe in investing in your child. Career is important but not more than my child. I will take up a job sometime but when I am ready for it. Another point I wanted to share is staying at home with your young one is not conservative nor working moms modern! Really why can't we all be without adding adjectives. If we all don't add sacrificing, conservative, losing identity, etc taglines, life will be much better. One of the readers from the FB discussion, Pavana.

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    1. Thnx Pavana for such a lovely comment...agree completely with u. I like that somebody else also thinks like me in that jobs=identity=earning money cycle. loved the line "my identity is my individuality not my career".

      Would love if u keep visiting my space :-)

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  2. Loved the last line of the post the most!!
    I work and have my In Laws at home who look after my Son. There are days when I want to quit and be a SAHM but those are far & few. Guess working is the choice I made and I am ok with it. Everything depends on an individuals circumstances na?

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    1. Glad that u liked it :-)

      Yeah right ...each of their own..isn't it!!

      Hey did u manage to get any rats through that rat poison??

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  3. A thoughtful post indeed... I feel once we make a choice, we should not think about negatives as the "choice has been made". Whatever comes with our choice must be considered a part of the choice and not a mistake. Nice post! BTW you have been nominated and tagged. Do take a look!!
    http://lifesaboutexperiences.blogspot.in/2012/07/another-award.html

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    1. Glad that u liked this post....:-)

      Than a ton for awarding me...thanx dear :-D

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  4. Lovely post as usual, NB. Nothing like the satisfaction of doing which makes you 'feel good'.

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    1. Thanx re...:-)

      your snaps of that trip were mind-boggling....seems to have a great time there!!

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    1. Thnx a lot...and welcome here :-)

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  6. Pretty much my story NB :) I took a full time break by my own choice and I too felt a little out of the place being at home full time but then that's what happens when we meet change,whatever kinds :) and today I'm glad I did what I did...or else I would have missed so much on Chirpy's front,which I could have not brought back :)

    Hugs to you and to mommy-hood :) Agree 100% with what you have written on being parents and all!

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    1. It feels good when u find someone else sailing in the same boat... liked that u share the same views :-)

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