First Pearl.

So today I felt the sharp edge of Mishti's first tooth while cleaning her tongue & gums....yes the first pearl is almost out of the oyster. She had been drooling since last 3-4 months and her itching gums had forced her to put everything in sight in her mouth (except her teether).

So from now onward, I won't write anywhere "her toothless smile" in my blog. :-D

People say....you should taste everything in your life once!!!!

Please...let her die!!!

Today's Times of India sent shivers to my spine. As a human being my head hung in shame when I read about this barbaric act on a two year old girl , who is almost battered to death. Literally my blood boiled when I read the article....was that culprit mentally challenged....to what degree of perversion can a monster have?  Now, so many big shots has jumped into the scenario and are trying to grab the limelight. For next few days, media would also flash the details of this incident and in a couple of days would forget it altogether. 

But one thing I really want is that this girl should not recover or live anymore. I know I may sound very weird but yes....that girl must die. At least her pain & plight can be healed with her death....which would not be possible if she lives. With a critical head injury, she might remain mentally impaired for rest of her life which is again traumatic. And if her parents are not found then she would be send to rot into any city orphanage where she might face another series of traumatic incidents like this piece of news.

GOD....can't these monsters be stoned or lynched to death publicly. No...I can't think any more about this. Simply horrendous!!! GOD please take that li'l baby under your wings as soon as possible. 

International Girl Child Day

Just opened my Facebook and came to know that today is "International Girl Child Day". So by the time my girl child is busy chewing off ( without teeth anyways..) her stuffed toy's tail, I am blogging.this post. 

Although, personally I do not believe in these specific 'days' but still I think I should pen down my feeling. My girl, I cherish every moment of our togetherness. You are the best gift which GOD gave me. I don't know how do I  fare as a mother, believe me dear, I am trying my best. I wait for the day when you would grow up into a head-strong & independent person. 

My Girl Child....GOD is kind enough to bless me this bundle of joy.

That day, I was watching one crime based show in TV which was showing teenager girls as young as age of 13-14 are being either kidnapped or poor parents being lured to sell off them, are bought by people in villages of Haryana & Punjab and are married (??) to boys there. The skewed gender ratio of these villages now compels them to buy girls from poor families of other states like Chattisgarh, Bihar, Jharkhand, West Bengal, Assam for. In this context, a recent article of Times of India shows that the people of these villages feel proud that they have so well fed their females that they give birth only to male child...Ridiculous. How unabashedly they hide their heinous crime of female foeticide which is the only cause of this skewed gender ratio. I really felt the lump in my throat when I saw the plight of those sold off girls who are considered only as baby (male child!!!)bearing machines and also treated worse than domestic slaves.

Why this mad desire to have only baby boys in a family? Only because some morons still think that they take forward the name of family, girls get married and their 'gotra' changes but boys would continue the legacy of your "gotra". These are the same people who worship various female deities. And why only criticize less educated people ..There are highly educated lot who's views & mindset still reflect the thinking of neanderthal times. Wish ...people understand the damage done by them before it is too late.

I am Hating this....!!!

Yeah...I am hating this winters like crazy.Ufff...it is so chilly here in Gurgaon.Since last four days, even Sun is also sleeping under his blanket. My whole drawing room is looking like a Dhobi-Ghat where all sorts of semi-wet clothes are dangling on every possible piece of  furniture. You see...semi wet clothes decorating the room as the wet ones waiting in queue for last couple of days in balcony. 

Born in December, I am supposed to be a winter baby (who the hell took this logic out of his/her great mind!!!!). I do not exactly remember about my preference for any season while I was a kid, but once when one of my aunt asked  I did said "WINTERS" as doing homework under the big "Rajai"( big blanket with stuffed cotton) and hideously coloring you drawing book while everyone else assumes you are studying was great fun.

However later I felt summers are better as you get more play time than winters (Those days we were allowed to play outside till it is dark...and obviously sunset is late in summers). Although in winters after coming back from school in afternoon we got the leverage to play around while all mothers finish their knitting in some terrace or nearby park under the sun.

Then in teens, I started liking "winters' again. We used to go to school cycling and summer sun caused a lot of tanning to us (He He..beautiful skin attacked by scorching sun). Those days, as school girls we were unaware about the concept of sun-block lotions, SPF, etc. The only aid which was used were cotton gloves which covered our arms only till just above the elbow, so, the skin colour of your arms would look like somewhat that colourmeter strip they show in fairness cream advertisement....dark but not so tanned till above elbow, tanned till the sleeves of the half -sleeve school shirts and then your own skin colour above that!!!

But now, these winters are killing me. When most of your daily chores involves water (remember I am Mishti's Mom who is 7months old) it seems like some kind of painful punishment. I do not understand when these news papers say its two degree more today or the maximum was this and minimum that yesterday ...the only thing I feel is chiiiiilling cold all the time.

As if this horrible cold is not enough that we have this 'What The F' (F= Fog). The fog blanket is really horrendous in Gurgaon where till last year I do remember getting lost multiple times while coming back from office at odd hours. Transport services are at the receiving end of this fog. Trains cancelled, flights delayed, office cabs not making on time...the list is long. Imagine waiting for the office cab for three hours post your office shift timings in this weather!!!
I do remember this funny incident when year before last we were waiting for cabs and it was horrible mess in the transport area (area from where cabs departed for their destination).There was huge shortage of cabs as the cabs who went for staff pick-ups did not returned due to dense fog.After waiting for almost three hours, we literally "gheraoed' the Transport officials. Due to this they hurriedly packed us ( around 8 people from our area) in a cab whose driver was sleeping of to his glory. We started from office and reached the highway with that grumbling driver who was visibly upset because of waken up from his sleep.The fog was at zero visbility mode when suddenly we realized that he had not switched on the headlight of that "Tata Sumo". We asked him politely to do so which he ignored. Then after all of us made multiple requests, he shouted back in his dialect "Madam ji, marne ka shauk manne bhi na hai, je gaddi mein lite hoti to kabka jalaya hota....lite tooti hai" ( Madam, even I do not want to die, if this cab had head lights, I would have switched it on...it's broken). So, now we all tried hard to remind GOD of our good deeds to help us to reach home safely!!

Now even I am feeling my fingers are jammed ....Winters, winters, why don't you just go away!!!

Koi Baat Nahin…Lakshmi Aayi hai!!!!

I thought writing this post few months back(lazy me can be blamed) but R's Mom post really charged me up and compelled me to blurt out my experience. Thanks RM.

Koi Baat Nahin…Lakshmi Aayi hai!!!!(Translation: Nothing to worry…Goddess Lakshmi (Goddess of wealth) has arrived)

This is one common line which I heard from couple of people when Mishti was born. However, not to mention that their tone never had that excitement if in real Goddess of wealth had arrived with a big gunny bag of gold & diamonds!!

The consolation in most of the people’s tone was quite audible. Sorry to say but like reading between the lines sometimes you can hear beyond the lines. Few smart ones quickly said “It doesn’t matter it is a boy or a girl, just a hale & hearty baby”. and they are smart ones to alter their original comments because of my ‘firebrand’(!!) nature but forget to wipe the consolation in their tone.

One of my elderly relative said 'Ohhhh (I am stressing on this big Ohhh)….daughters bring good luck to family'. Excuse me…if I had given birth to a son then why would have his ‘luck quotient’ had been lesser???

When I was in my 2^nd trimester, there were two or three more female colleagues who were expecting. So we used to have our group discussion forum on maternity issues anytime, anywhere…J. Few other female colleagues (generally moms) would also join us. One day, a mom to a 2 year old brought a fun test (a questionnaire kind of list which asks whether you like to eat sweet or salty food, which side of your tummy the baby has more movements…) to decide the gender of the unborn baby. All of us took the test for fun. After an hour I found one of the preggo ladies crying in the washroom. When I asked she told me that how mean of that other lady who deliberately twisted the test and told her it’s a girl!!! I got so irked that I sarcastically said that she can very well exchange her result with mine( I got the result that it’s a boy) and barged out of the restroom. Imagine an educated lady, working in a MNC crying because someone told her she would a mother to a girl….horrible!!!!

She had told me later that how her SIL (a MBA, mother of a male child) says that at least the first child should be a boy so that her importance in her household is maintained. I felt she was also quite convinced with this logic!!!

Another really weird viewpoint I heard when one of my close relative told me that if my genes overshadows my hubby’s genes then it would be a girl  ( we are two sisters only, no brothers  and my hubby has a young brother, no sisters)and vice versa. What a twisted genetic theorem…..I really felt like taking out my notepad & pen and explaining her complete XX & XY chromosome theory!!!!

Some futuristic people advised me to start saving money for my girl. When I asked snapped them if it had been a boy then a saving was not needed, they few got the drift and changed the topic to “money is nowadays such a necessity for better upbringing of a child”.

I really fail to understand why there is crazy attitude to have a son. Might be I won’t ever experience it as my parents never injected this fact that I have done some crime being a girl. We are two sisters and my parents never yearned for a son. When I was pregnant I read the news of a newborn girl killed by her mother in some village, I literally begged to Almighty that “please if a baby boy is in my womb exchange it to someone’s girl who are crazy for a son” (You see…pregnancy hormones were elevated at their best that time…J!!!!)

Jokes apart, I really feel sorry for these people. Some traits are injected so deeply that even high education cannot wash it. Another very common term I had heard that “Ye meri beti nahi beta hai (She is not a daughter but a son to me). This again turns me off. Why can’t we accept our girls as simple human daughters without labeling them as Goddess, good/bad luck charm or a son? Why any daughter has to prove their mettle by camouflaging as a son?

But I had saved the best for the last: My girl is fairer as compared to me and my hubby. So one of the elderly relative told me that “Good she is fair….you won’t face any difficulty while searching a match for her” Damn…Give me a break!!!

Touching Feet - indeed a touchy issue for me!

Here is my take on an age old custom – touching one’s feet for seeking blessings. Being born in a Bengali Hindu family this is something taught to us as basic values (it is an important part of ‘Sanskar’). This custom has different versions to it depending upon its geographical locations…like in Bengal & Assam you have to bend down touch both the feet with your right hand and then touch your forehead. In Northern belt, you can touch the knees and then touch your forehead.

My understanding says this custom is an interpretation of regardless respect for an individual which means that even the dirt of his/her feet is so valuable and pious that you can smear your forehead with it( In Bengali it is known as ‘payer dhulo mathaye newa’ or in Hindi it is ‘Pairon ki Dhool mathey se lagana’). I am not sure about the origin of this practice and I am not going to Google for it. My motive is not to write an essay on touching feet custom but just to highlight the senseless logic behind it. I know many people would digress but this is my opinion and anybody can disagree to it.

This custom is actually a part of every Bengali custom. Few of them are:

• Dashami of Durga Puja (tenth & last day of Navratri) would conclude with this ritual which is an integral part of Bijoya Dashami celebrations when you have to touch all the elders’ feet.
• Marriage ceremony concludes with this ritual when you have to touch all the elders’ feet including your newlywed husband as a mark of respect.
• Bhai-Phonta (A festival when sisters pray and celebrate it for long life of their brothers) also includes touching feet of the elder one by the younger one.
• First day of Bengali New Year starts with touching all the elders’ feet to seek blessings.

This ritual might had made sense in earlier times but in today’s’ scenario it is completely baseless. What kind of special blessing can you receive if you touch anyone’s feet or shoes /sandals /slippers (nowadays most of the people are wearing footwear all the time unlike ancient sadhus!!!). As a kid I really hated this unhygienic part….imagine an uncle of yours is leaving for another city and you went to say him good-bye to the railway station…just before the train moves on you have complete this action to gather the best blessings …obviously he is wearing his shoes that time.

I fail to understand that if I do not touch my elder’s feet, does that makes me less respectful towards them? Those who want to bless me won’t shower it if I just bow down or do a plain ‘Namaste’ (folding hands, joining your palms to greet anybody).  

One more aspect to it which I came to know that when a Bengali Brahmin boy has his thread ceremony (‘Poitey’) after that he is not required to touch anyone’s feet except any elderly person who is Brahmin only. This happened years ago when one of our acquaintance boy who was younger to me stopped touching my grandparents feet even for Bijoya Dashami after his “Poitey” (FYI: We are Kayasthas- not Brahmins). What a hypocritical interpretation, as this Poitey certifies a young lad as Brahmin therefore everyone else is now belittled in front of his newly acquired Brahminism.

I still remember when just a couple of days after my marriage it was SG’s cousin’s marriage and I had to touch everyone’s feet (elders’ feet obviously…special instruction was given to me not to exempt anyone as this might cause a rift showing my less respect for that person). Believe me…I didn’t even looked at few faces as I was too busy in showing the ‘respect’. In this process I even touched feet of one of the distant relative of SG who was of same age as mine….she felt really bad as if I was trying to hide my age and prove myself younger to her ( you see many people are quite touchy about this age issue!!!).

So as per me, only few plus points of this custom are:

You can prove yourself young to other person.

Good exercise for deflating your tummy.

You can check out other person’s footwear very closely……eeeeekkk!!!

Jokes apart, I wonder how any particular custom like this can measure the magnitude of respect for any individual? I can very well touch someone’s feet with zero respect for him/her in my heart. Might be I am thinking as one-eyed deer, so if you think differently, I would like to hear your thoughts as well.

Ye to Ibtida hai......

Actual date of this post is 6th Jan, 2012.

So Mishti had her first fall today. I went to answer the nature's call and she was lying on the couch appropriately shielded by 3-4 cushions. Suddenly heard a loud cry and rushed to see that she was on floor alongwith a cushin and entagled in a shawl. Immidiately picked her up nad tried to find any visible wounds....no, nothing was there....by this time Mishti has started her usual giggle sessions. So, learning for the day, now put Mishti on a play mat whenever going out of her sight.

I know these falls & accidents are a part of her growing up but still felt guilty (can't the nature's call be answered while she was sleeping....wish human body could have been proggrammed!!!).

While sleeping as well Mishti tends to move like the hands of the clock and many times I wake up with her constant kicks on my face.

She has also achieved her milestone of sitting without support. Thus, now she enjoys all the "filmi" songs on MTV & 9XM sitting upright and moving her body to the tune.

Her "Dida" (my mom) got Payal for her.

                                

Mishti with her first hair accessories

                     

Check out her new shoes for New year party

P.S. The title of this post means this is just the beginning.....



Recapture of 2011...

(Warning: Long post ahead. Also, this is late as I thought of posting it before 1st Jan, 2012.)

So when everyone is either busy in welcoming the New Year or bidding adieu to 2011, I thought of re capturing this year in monthly format.

2011 is one of the important years of my life…..my Mishti is born this year!!  So physically, psychologically & socially it has been an evolving year which brought so many changes in all spheres of my life.

2011

January started with really annoying petty issues about which might be someday I would be able to blog. As I was expecting Mishti that time so on 17^th we went to Kali-Bari (Goddess Kali temple) for my “Panchamrit “ritual. I was fed by the priest the Prasad made up of five pious (high caloric..!!) items like Ghee etc.

February was pretty cool month. Only once I had to rush to doctor other than my regular check up when I was in office and it started spotting. I called SG and informed my boss about my emergency. We rushed to the doctor for a scan and everything came out to be normal…what a relief! (We even had burger while on our way back….:-))

March was although quite non-happening in personal sphere but my professional environment was going through lots of changes. Too many rumors were floating around regarding some big changes in the organization and specifically in our department.

April begun with our visit to Allahabad for my “Saadh” ceremony (baby shower). This is a ritual where mother or mother –in-law treats the would-be mom with lots of delicacies and showers gifts. I was bit tensed in the back of my mind as I was travelling in my 7^th month with a huge tummy.

May was my 8^th month of pregnancy. I was still going to work regularly. I was completely fine but only felt like hitting few people for poking their nose in my life. Also, this month as my 9^th month started, my mom came and she stayed till August (big hug to her).

June arrived with the delivery of my baby the first day of the month. After that, really my world changed. First few days, I was not sure how to react or handle the feelings.

July onwards my life became quite predictable. Crying & mood swings happened lot many times (let’s blame it on post-delivery depression…).

August was quite similar to July. By end of this month I unwillingly headed towards Allahabad for two months stay. Yeah…this is month when I wrote my first blog.

September was kind of depressing month. I got framed!!! Wish I could blog about it… L.The only silver lining was SG got a new job in a desirable role & designation. Ohh…yes, By 20^th We came back to Gurgaon and was hit with mild dengue which triggered some weird things in my blood which gifted me joint pains which is with me till today.

October started with Durga Puja and we enjoyed a lot with Mishti tagged along with. My litmus test period had already started as I was handling Mishti all alone (no nanny as well).

November was our anniversary month. We celebrated with family and friends in a local restaurant. On personal front it was quite lean month. I was juggling with taking care of Mishti & house hold work.

P.S. I wrote maximum number of blogs this month…J

December was my birth month, so celebrate karna to banta hai…….. My parents visited us thus had a wonderful time with my family. Also, for few days, I didn’t have to worry about Mishti as my mom & sis was around all the time…J

I was quite struggling to write this blog as there were so many things which I am not able to recollect properly and also other things about which I want to write a lot. But still I managed to finish this post as this is the only way to record events of 2011.

I start New Year with no resolutions as I feel bonded with these things. Just few things which I want to apply to my life sincerely:

Write blogs regularly as this is only way of utilizing my “ME” time.

Be more organized, if necessary start using notebooks to remember all the small things I forget like giving electricity bill cheque on time, booking gas,…etc(list is long).

Continue doing the fantabulous (!!!) task of handling Mishti. Yes…I am confident that I am trying to be an excellent mom so would continue that.

There might be few more things which I would like to do in this 2012 but would add them eventually.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL....HAPPY BLOGGING TO ME..:-)