Friendship....are they serious!!!

What do you think of this advertisement?

It portrays the notion of friendship with a background score of eternal friendship song of bollywood. But, somehow, I disliked it a lot. I might be labeled as ‘living fossil’ but I strongly disagree with the subtle message circulated in the garb of an advertisement meant for promoting sale of Sedan class cars.

Are they trying to say that if only you belong to some affluent family or your dad owns a luxury vehicle, you can have bunch of friends.  I am not sure how a kid of present generation of 6 – 16 yrs would perceive this clip but it stealthily tries to distort the notion of friendship for sure. The kids actually behave like some ‘yes men’ who sport fake smile while sharing their belongings or helping each other with an ulterior motive of getting a ride in the big sedan by the end of the day.

Is it not the first glimpse of that class who would grow up into ‘Janta nahin mera baap kaun hai!’(Don't you know...who is my daddy!!) breed? I feel agitated with this kind of media promotion because I believe that media does pla!y a strong role in our lives .It has some impact or other on the mind of its viewers however the degree of impact depends on the IQ, EQ and maturity level of the person.

Earlier also when I wrote aboutthis advertisement with so called new age ’cool’ lingo and posted it in my FB page, many people( some of them were parents!) termed me as too sensitive and over-reactive. But somehow, I just do not feel comfortable while watching this kind of stuff. Might be I am turning into a ‘living fossil’ in real sense!

Children See....Children Do!!

I came across this beautiful video in Facebook which is so thought-provoking. 

A small incident happened few days back established the message conveyed through this video.

I was rushing to drop Mishti to her daycare. The lift of our building was dysfunctional that day. So, I had to carry her through the stairs along with her bags & my purse. All the while she struggled to wriggle out from my hold so that she can run down the stairs on her own. After reaching near the gate, I realized that I forgot my phone at home.
Quite unconsciously, I hissed 'Shit, Shiiiit....'. I was so irritated that I had to climb the stairs carrying Mishti again and it was already late.

The moment it came out of my mouth I realized my mistake. Mishti was looking at me intently! And then she started jumping up and down shouting “Chhit, Chhit”. I felt so ashamed of myself. I distracted her attention to some moving vehicle on road to stop her loud ‘Chhit, Chhit’ but she continued to do so.

I learnt my lesson. These kids pick up our behavior, words & body language so quickly. This is the second instance of this kind; firstone happened when Mishti was bit young. I have to be more careful about it.

Picking up a nice quote from Facebook:

Don’t worry that your children never listen to you, worry that they are always watching you.

Tick-Tock, We’re 30 : Book Review

Snap shot:

Interesting, isn’t it, how someone is always utterly attractive to someone else? For every male tree frog, there is a female tree frog whose dry skin and warts and bulging eyes are the most divine. And to you, Lara Bagai, a karela is a thing of beauty, Nishad comments.

So he remembers I love karela. So what?I take it your interest in frogs is purely academic?
I snigger. 
'I promise you I am not in danger of being madly besotted by one anytime soon,' he half-smiles.

The clock is ticking towards Lara’s thirtieth birthday and the whole gang is coming together to celebrate it. It’s a pact they made back then to meet when they all finally turned that age. So far, so cool. What isn’t cool is the other pact Lara had made one tipsy evening with Nishad. To marry each other if neither of them were hitched by then.

The last thing Lara wants is to give Nishad the pleasure of knowing he was right about Ranndeep being so wrong for her. Ranndeep, all-male, pro-motor racer whom shed been so sure of at the time. So there was only one thing to do. Lara would have to drum up someone else to pass off as her love interest for now. Enter flamboyant Perzaan, Turkish dude full of surprises. With the reappearance of Ranndeep and the gangs other quirky characters, its a week of audacious hookups and mix-ups. Chances are you’ll be guessing right till the end who ends up with whom, if ever.

My take:

The snap shot of this book is more than enough to kindle interest in your mind to read it. Whacky but believable characters, easy-flowing language, hilarious goof-ups, myriad emotions and a gang of friends hook you to this book till its end. The story shifts gear midway and flows smoothly giving way to an enjoyable tale of tangled relationship.

The bunch of friends and their reunion moments would make you nostalgic and might be you can end up whining to meet your old buddies to let the leash free of your inner wackiness. All the characters are reflection of real people whom you can easily identify with and therefore you can relate to their life, desire and aspirations.

However, the over-detailed persona sketch of various characters remains as mild dampener but somehow it did not affect the flow of the narration much. Too many characters and their intricate life moments sometimes becomes too confusing and apart from the mix-ups in the story, I had few mix-ups happened in my mind as well! The length of the book could have been reduced by trimming off few gratuitous facets of this book.

Overall, a one-time read which you can enjoy in journeys or bed-time with a relaxed mind.

• Title - Tick-Tock, We're 30
• Author – Milan Vohra
• Publisher – Westland
• Pages – 412
• Price – INR 250
• My Rating – 3.25/5

This review is a part of book reviews in Women's web. I am glad to be among the chosen 15 bloggers to review this book.

Mishti Unplugged - Sleep Saga!

Now days, Mishti is put to sleep by SG every night. Mishti still takes milk in her bottle while sleeping, so bottle of milk is prepared, and after changing her diaper, I sneak out of room while SG takes over.

SG: Sleep, sleep Mishti sleep baby…

Ok you want a song…..Imlee ka boota, berry ka ped, Imlee khatti, Meethe berr…..

Imlee ka boota, berry ka ped, Imlee khatti, Meethe berr….. tan a nana tanan ana a

tan a nana tanan ana a ….khrrrr khrrr (daddy snores!!)

Mishti: Ummm….daddy, daaaaaaaaaaddddddyyyyyyy

SG: hmmmm…yes yes…what… Sleep, sleep Mishti sleep baby…

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Another day:

SG: Sleep, sleep Mishti sleep baby…

I think you get bored with songs, I would tell you a story like mamma.

One upon a time….There was a Papa Bear & a Mamma bear. They were best friends and then they got married. Papa Bear worked in Quality department while Mamma Bear work in their anti department – operations.

I had to intervene here. I barge in the bedroom.

Me: What is this? What kind of story is this?

SG: This is Reality based story!!

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Few days ago, Mishti wakes up 15 minutes before my alarm goes off. Very sweetly she starts waking me…Mamma, Mammaaaaa.

I try to pacify her with one eye open….yeah beta….you play with your books (yeah, few of Mishti’s books are kept at bedside as well!)…Mamma would wake up in a while OKkk.

Mishti didn’t gulp that bait and climbs on my tummy saying ‘Tagataga’ (her version of tug-bug of horse riding). I still choose not to wake up. She gets bored.

All of a sudden, I feel some watery droplets tricking on my cheeks. Quickly opening my eyes, I see that Mishti is trying to jostle her empty milk bottle (she takes milk in her sleep around dawn) in my mouth.

Mammma….Dodo…Aaaaa aaaa Aaaaa!

As if she is imitating her bedtime routine with me by giving me milk & singing a lullaby!!!

Return to India ~ A Memoir ~ - Book Review

Snapshot:

What is home anyway? Is it a place, a person, or merely a fleeting memory? Can one ever go back home, or is such a trip fraught with disappointment? Author Shobha Narayan captures the dilemma engulfing all those people’s mind who have moved away from their homeland and have adjusted in their new culture. A tale of aspiration & ambition which thrusts a Tam-brahm middle class young girl to make her way to USA. She utilizes her every bit of energy to break the shackles to pursue her dreams in that alien country. This memoir takes us through the journey of the author’s life in USA and her rendezvous with new culture, cuisines, life & friends and then her tryst with motherhood. Being a mother brings radical changes in her thought-process and she halts to evaluate her decisions, her choices with the new frame of reference.

My Take:

The candid narrative in the first part of the book which involves author’s chronicle of passion & determination to chase her dreams hooked me to the book instantly. I was able to relate with her itch to venture out from the conservative family background to initiate a new life of freedom in an unfamiliar land. The respite which she aptly portrays with her immigration to USA from the suffocating & distorted education & bureaucracy system of India was quite freshening. Her wit filled minutiae about her extended clan was remarkably candid.

Author very beautifully sketches the gradual changes that creep in their life and takes us through a realistic trail of her life events. She doesn't bat an eyelid to jot down her exploration of new culture and assorted measures opted by her to resume a living as an aspiring green card holder. However, as the question of ‘identity’ sneaks in her mind in second half of the book the flavor of the tale takes a different turn. Motherhood brings in her life the somehow clichéd NRI attitude for her kids. She starts worrying about the mixed culture of her daughter’s upbringing and ponders about the instillation of Indian values in her kids.

Author keeps on oscillating between the warmth of her close-knit family in India and the materialistic eased out life as an US citizen while portraying the dilemma through well chosen words.

“America, however, continued to seduce with the promise of wealth and the ‘good life.’ Like many others, I succumbed and stayed put, haunted by my homeland’s childhood warmth, but lacking the courage to return to its chaotic systems.”

However I was not able to relate to this part of the book much. I personally feel that we can never compare our childhood & upbringing with that of our kids. Every phase & situation has their pluses & minuses and we cannot force our kids to relive our childhood. Author kept on glorifying the Indian values and dependency culture and somehow I felt tried to fit in her comfort zone with ‘Return to India’ issue. Author tries to create a delusional scenario about all good things of India and travels to nostalgia where relatives go out of the way to help you kids, Nosy neighbours who spend their day idle playing chess & ludo keeps a track on your family activities and so on.

Author brings up some interesting humorous scenarios where she tries to force her ‘born again Hindu’ values to her family by dragging them to temple or wears ‘Saree’ for the whole month. Her spouse’s beliefs were more realistic as he believed in drilling right values in kids; be it anywhere in the world. I don’t deny the fact that this ‘moving back’ issue is too sensitive & required lot of thinking but somehow this part was quite long drawn.

Concluding it I can say that it is a good read. A book which deals with the ‘immigrant’s dilemma’ in detail. It caters those audiences who are away from their roots for long and are pining for their home. Also, I liked this memoir for the candid presentation of author’s life devoid any hypocrisy. The question of returning back to India has never been accessorized by the author with some social messages concealed in hypocrisy. However I would love to read another book from the same author about settling back in India about whom she had high hopes.

• Title – Return to India ~ A Memoir ~
• Author – Shoba Narayan
• Publisher – Rain Tree
• Pages – 380
• Price – INR 395
• ISBN – 978-81-291-1928-5
• My Rating - 3.5/5

This review is a part of the Book Reviews Program at BlogAdda.com . Participate now to get free books!

Shave or Crave!!

It was my birthday few days ago.  This year it was special as my 18 month old actively participated in all the celebrations… be it wishing me at 12 midnight, savoring birthday cake, enjoying Pizza lunch or accompanying us for an elaborate dinner arranged by my hubby.

To make my day special, my hubby tried his best to give me small surprises throughout the day. However, one thing which I really wanted was that he should get rid of his stubble. It might look great for one evening but that’s it….not beyond that! But, being a non-nagging spouse who believes in giving space (!!) in relationship, I was never able to voice my thought to him. I tried passing subtle hints but alas!!..... He turned out to be a geek in understanding those clues.

 My first try went in vain when I commented that SRK looks like sick old man in his latest flick with that facial hair. Nevertheless, hubby didn't bit this bait as well and never even bothered to think why I am suddenly disparaging my teenage crush.

Then, when he took me out for birthday shopping, I suggested him buying an expensive shaving kit as return gift. But he refused any return gift by showcasing his persona’s humble attribute!

After cutting the cake in afternoon with friends my face was smeared with cream & icing of the cake by them. I purposely applied cake on his face as well so that it might trigger him to shave off that facial mane. But, he came out of the wash room glowing with all the cream facial and I even noticed few white hairs gleaming on his cheek along with the black ones. I took this as an opportunity and casually commented that it exhibits his ‘other side of 30’ age to the world. But he ducked this bouncer and claimed that finally he can portray his much desired ‘salt-n-pepper’ look!

Then it was the grand-dinner time. I wanted to look best for the evening so got ready accordingly. My li’l princess was dolled up in a beautiful princess dress. Hubby also took his time to wear his classy attire. Everything was perfect except that stubble. He thought it gave an intellectual look his guise!

Now, before we stepped out, hubby felt that this moment should be captured in a camera. Being a proud father, he took our daughter in his arms and asked me to click a nice snap. He tried to give a cuddly pose by chafing his cheek on her face…..and Fatttaakk!! The li’l lady pushed her dad’s face away with all her might and shouted ‘Oooohooo, Daddy Oohhhoooo’ and ran away. In her dictionary, this elongated ‘Oooohhhooo’ means pain. Now, it was a funny scenario. She kept running away from her daddy and shouting this melodramatic expression every time he insisted picking her up. Finally, he gave up. He glared at the watch and rushed towards the washroom. Within few minutes the man of our house emerged out with a clean shaven look. Our daughter looked at him intently and then jumped in his lap. He also understood that either he has to 'Shave' or 'Crave' for his daughter's proximity. Daddy happy, Dotty happy ……and me also super happy!! 

This post is a part of the 'Shave or Crave' movement in association with BlogAdda.com

Updates Unplugged...!!!

So, here I am back to my normal life. I might have cribbed about its monotonous routine in past but now I realize where my comfort zone lies. Past one month zipped away in my visit to Allahabad to be a part of my sister’s marriage. We came back to Gurgaon with huge baggage of marriage hangover. Although SG says ‘you now have fodder for almost 100 diverse posts in your blog’, I don’t feel like writing even a single word (Blogger’s block!!!!....ehhhh). But as so many changes are floating around in my life , I thought of jotting them down.

• I came back with ailing Mishti who was down with fever, cough & cold. The chest congestion was real bad and gain she has to go through a dose of antibiotics. Doctor advised steam & nasal drops alongwith medicines, both of which next to impossible to be applied on Mishti.
• We had a gala time in the marriage ceremonies. It was whacky tiresome to shop continuously for 10 days prior to that and still missing out few things on the D-day.
• Had a first-hand experience to witness the difference between traditional planning & corporate planning in the event management of the wedding. The generation gap was evident and most of the time it was Me, SG & our cousins Vs or elders ( esp my dad)!
• This wedding reinforced my thought-process about the big fat Indian wedding where money almost flows like water down the drain.
• I managed to get ready on time on the D-day and was first time pretty satisfied with my look. It is not that I am any fashion freak….but I had this desire of looking presentable in my only sister’s marriage. Even SG was looking wow in traditional dhoti-kurta.
• There is a Hindi proverb which says ‘ Sood asal se jyada pyara hota hai’ ( rough translation: The interest amount is more appealing than the principal amount!). Found this line quite true with this Allahabad trip when presence of Mishti diluted much past bitterness and even I received the unexpected wonderful behavior in some relationships.
• Now, as we have planned I am gearing up for my job-hunt. The first step has been covered by hiring a full-time maid from a maid agency. The search for a nice daycare cum playschool is still on.
• My new maid, daycare search & the wedding minutiae demand separate posts so I would soon do that.
• Also, Mishti has added few more words to her vocabulary. This again needs another post….Ahhh poor girl …her mom is so lazy!!!
• Gradually, Mishti is getting back to her normal self. Apart from ill-health she went a psychological change when after being surrounded by so many people all the time she had to be with only two of us here. As SG was not continuously with us there( he went with us came back then again went there before the marriage and came back in 4 days) so Mishti was more clingy to him & she stuck to him as if he might again vanish if she is not in his lap.
• I am yet to write a review of a book from Blogadda and I am almost done with reading that. So expect a book review post soon.
• Also, would like to apologize from my fellow bloggers on whose blog I was regular….I am back and would soon catch up with posts guys!!
• My post was published in parentous.com. Read it here.

So, be prepared for an array of posts in blog. Happy blogging !!

The Bankster - Book Review

Snapshot:

Bankers build their careers on trust, or so everyone thinks, till a series of murders threaten to destroy the reputation that the Greater Boston Global Bank (GB2) has built over the years. Who is behind these killings, and what is their motive? 

When Karan Panjabi, press reporter and ex-banker, digs deeper, he realizes that he has stumbled upon a global conspiracy with far reaching ramifications a secret that could not only destroy the bank but also cast a shadow on the entire nation. With only thirty-six hours at his disposal, he must fight the clock and trust no one if he is to stay alive and uncover the truth.

My Take:

When I initially started reading this book, honestly, it was not able to capture my attention. I just read few pages that too only at bedtime. But, after first sixty pages, the story shifts gear and changes its pace swiftly. And, then it just becomes ‘unputdownable’. A multifaceted plot woven around three parallel sub plots, the story zips through different parts of the world while keeping its readers wondering about the next set of events. A clandestine CIA agent trading ‘blood diamonds’ & illegal arms with some extremist political religious group in Angola -  A septuagenarian fighting on the behalf of common man against the government to ensure the safety measures in development of a local nuclear plant in remote town of Kerela – An international Bank HQ in Mumbai where a big money-laundering scam is sprouting embellished with manipulation, power-clashes & corporate politics, all these plots although being so different from one another gets linked at the end very impeccably by the author.

Out of these three stories, my interest got hooked instantly with the story of the MNC bank where unnatural death of few employees one after other within short span shook the top management people. I was able to identify with the typical stereotyped corporate characters and I felt I have seen similar characters around me during my brief stint with corporate world. Dubious banking practices which are crafted by twisting the rules, targets, deadlines, compliance, audits, quality, appraisals, internal movements and office parties all sounded so familiar to me. The other two stories were not in my familial backdrop so took time to register in my mind.

The language of the book is quite simple and the author has took that effort to simplify the complex banking terms and delineate them in lay-man’s lingo.

The unpredictable twists & turns keep its readers glued and I finished the 3/4^th of the book in almost one day!! The translucent persona sketch of various characters remains as mild dampener but somehow this did not affect the flow of the narration much. However, I felt the climax was too quick and bit confusing as erratic findings keeps on dropping here and there. Also, I personally felt that by the end where the main protagonist, a banker turned journalist chips in to solve the conspiracy is quite dramatic & typical detective TV series type.  

But still I found book interesting & would recommend to everyone who want to read some crisp & devoid of shallow emotion tales.

P.S.: Another thing which I really liked about the book & Blogadda that it came Author-signed :-)

• Title – The Bankster
• Author – Ravi Subramanian
• Publisher – Rupa Publications
• Pages – 358
• Price – INR 250
• ISBN – 978-81-291-2048-9
• My Rating - 4/5

This review is a part of the Book Reviews Program at BlogAdda.com. Participate now to get free books!

WoW - 7

It was too dark. Her head still felt heavy. Partial awake but somehow in trance, she tried to recall the course of events. Damn, she can’t remember a thing except the feeling that she was very elated to go out for her first ever date.

Her wrists are hurting with the rope tied around it. She tried to scream but realized that the gag has blocked her voice. Petrified, injured she tried to wriggle out that bond, but failed. Tears oozed and trickled down her cheeks.  Slowly few other incidents flashed in her memory screen. She recollected how she skillfully lied to her parents to go out on this date with her online chat friend. How could have she divulged the truth to them, they still consider her a kid. She is grown up, she is fifteen!!

They had chatted for almost last six months every day without fail. He now understands her so well. Initially bit hesitant but later she became quite comfortable while chatting with him. His thoughtful quotes, humorous one - liners, philosophical reassurances compelled her to go gaga over him. So, when finally he proposed to meet her, she found herself in seventh heaven.

She bunked her tuition classes and reached the scheduled spot almost on time. His tall built & dashing looks completely swayed her mind. She pinched herself to check whether she is still dreaming or what!!. Then after a while they went for a long drive. It was month of May, so they halted near a shop to get some cold-drinks. But, then…. After that….she can’t recall a single thing.

She again wrestled with the bondage but gave up soon. Drenched in sweat she lay there motionless. It was still as cemetery outside. Only sound she can hear is of dry leaves & some crickets creaking. Suddenly, she heard some footsteps and a ray of street light flashed in as the door is opened. All she can see a tall shadow leaning near the door. Suddenly, ‘His laughter broke the silence’. She was zapped. It is him!!! A shiver ran down her spine.

Now she is able to find the missing pieces of the Zigzag puzzle of her abduction. He had laced the drink with something which made her unconscious.

He creepily came near her and tried to feel her body. She squirmed in repugnance & shut her eyes.  Her parents’ faces reeled in front of her. They are so right…she is indeed a kid, a damn stupid kid!!!

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

WoW - 6

Arrrggghhh…it is 2AM now, and this crackpot has turned me on. At this hour of night what damn entertainment does he expects from me? Can’t I get some minimal privacy for myself!!By the time he would leave me alone and go to sleep, it would be the time for the old man of the family to wake up. Then he would take his turn to avail my services. Gosh…has anybody ever thought how hard the life of a Television is in a joint family!!

Yeah…I am your regular TV which you can find in almost 112 million households in India as per some random survey. I understand my sole purpose in your life is entertainment….but you see; unlike Vidya Balan in Dirty Picture I never have to boast and say ‘Aur main entertainment hoon’. Since the time I have been accessorized with that cable TV, I have lost my sleep & peace of mind. I had heard my forefathers had to serve only for few hours in a day and that too only one channel can be seen on my screen. That vibgyor screen saver was such a relief and they were able to sleep off once it flashed the screen at night.

Remember this one!!

(Image courtesy: Google Images)

But now with 24x7 entertainment motto, I have to juggle between hundreds of channels and that too throughout the day & night. And take my word, ninety percent of stuff aired in these channels in the name of entertainment are utter crap!! Are you able to relate with my plight now? The old grandfather of the house would like to start his day with spiritual channels. Now, that doesn’t matter that he might not have bothered to listen or follow this pseudo-spirituality throughout his life as being busy with daily bread & butter, but he wants everybody in his family to take blessings from that long-bearded ‘Baba’ who keeps on talking with mastered dramatic effects .

Then there are the female clans of the house who take over the battlefield from Grandpa. Old granny loves to watch the ‘Saas-bahu ‘sagas which enhances her knowledge about the various ways of scheming & plotting her family members can do and especially that DIL. But is she aware of the fact that one of her DIL also rely on the same ‘Saas- bahu’ serials (Re-runs this time!!) for her knowledge base while she is taking her afternoon nap.

There are other members like that other DIL who generally prefers to get a quick gist of all the TV soaps from her co-sister and is not regular at keeping a direct eye on me. Then there are some sports fanatics as well in the family, they would bite their nails even watching highlights of that India-SriLanka Cricket match which was played months ago. The young tribe grabs the remote to watch the trendy channels with anorexic, skinny models walking as if their toes are trying to multiply 726 with 35 on the ramp. Few channels want to titillate the emotion of people in the name of reality shows which are anything BUT reality…..Poorly scripted, melodramatic, over the top.

Everyone in the house likes to watch NEWS channels….it is a known fact that these are the best entertaining channels nowadays. You can actually sob, laugh, get scared or be agitated by watching the same channel. But you have to understand their quandary as well, now with a 24x7 airtime their task of showing quality news is getting more thorny and is a mammoth task. So, whether it is ‘Hurricane Sandy on rampage in US’ or ‘Aishwarya Rai’s post-partum weight’, they sell it off as ‘BREAKING NEWS’.

There is the young guy who works in some BPO or IT industry and returns from work late past midnight. He would also take his chance to kill time while watching movies which have been repeated n-number of times or those slimming advertisements which generally flood all the channels after midnight. I rather wonder at their air-time as why would an obese person keep himself awake to just watch those ‘Quick Slim’ advertisements at that hour of night….Don’t they know anything about ‘Target Audience’!!

The kids want to watch kids & cartoon channels all the time. I pity on these kids…..they never can feel the excitement of watching ‘Duck Tales’ or ‘Jungle Book’ on Sunday mornings after a week’s wait.

Anyway, I digress. No doubt the ever upgrading technology has transformed our breed of ugly ducklings into sleek & sexy models…we are slimmer & flatter now. We are hung on walls now unlike past positioned in some corner. Then there are smarter versions of us who are known as ‘SMART TV’. We are able to support so many features now…Blu-ray, HDD, 5.1 surround sound, Wi-fi…..list goes on.

But in midst of all this techno advanced terms and 24x7 over dosage of absolute mediocre shows, I somewhere pine inside my heart to lead the life of my forefathers. That life where my only accessory would have been a shuttered box whose closed doors ensured some respite & peace at least for few hours a day!!

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

It says 'For a minute look around the things near you and then include them creatively in a story', I looked around and saw this flat screen LCD who must have so many stories tucked in its bag!

Some knotty thoughts & an incident!!!

It was the morning of Durga Puja MahaNavami. We woke up quite late as slept around 2AM last night after having a super MahaAshtami. We wanted to reach Puja Pandal early because the Puja committee starts distributing the Lunch-Bhog coupon quite early and reaching late meant getting a slot in last batch at around 4PM. Also, I wanted to participate in the couple games organized by the puja committee along with SG, which was slotted to start around 11AM.

Being a last minute person, I realized that my saree needs to be ironed so I sneaked out to the ‘Presswala’ whose shop was nearby while SG was taking a bath. I knew being a perfect planner he would be damn irritated if he knows that I went for this at the last minute. So, I rushed in jet-speed to the shop, got the work done in record time and started almost running to come back home.

Suddenly, I heard a voice from behind “Aunty, Aunty”. I turned back and saw a small girl of about 8-9 years along with a smaller boy of around 3 years age who were calling me. They seem to be kids of some maids/rickshawpuller who were dressed in their best attire for Navami.

Generally, during Navratri there is a ritual of Kanya Pujan where people feed small girls on the 8^th & 9^th (Ashtami & Navami) day and give them some money. So in those days, you can find these small girls loitering around and gathering Prasad from various houses. Anyway, coming back to the scene, I thought these kids must have called me for asking for money or Prasad. My first reaction was irritation. I was getting late and wanted to avert the argument with SG.

Still I stopped and said “yes”.

Girl: Aunty would you take us to our home?

 Me: How can I?? Where do you stay?

Girl: We stay in abc area.

Me: So, you have lost the way??

Girl: No No….I know the way but I am scared of crossing that main road. Can you help us cross that?

Me: Okkk…. (Here I was about to refuse bluntly but suddenly something from inside held me back)

Me: OK..Come with me. Are you sure you can go to your home once you are on the other side of road?

Girl: Yes Aunty, I know my way to home.

I took them to the main road helped them to cross it. I stood there till the time those kids disappeared into their lane. She waved me before taking the turn. I waved back and again started rushing towards my home.

I felt so good. It was nothing like I had done some great social-service but a streak of contentment lingered in my heart. I don’t know what happened to me or what compelled me to say yes to them. I am quite a non-believer in Puja rituals and also generally try not to promote begging by giving alms to anybody in traffic signals or near religious institutions. But here I want to admit that this thought did flash in my mind that GOD may visit you in different form and test your character. And somewhat, I felt that those kids were just some heralds of GOD who wanted to check out me. I feel amazed at this thought of mine as it is quite unlike me. Human mind is so strange & complicated. It behaves so eccentrically sometimes!

Wow - 5

The best thing in life is…… as per me it is quite relative & subjective to every individual and circumstances. It changes its face value depending upon the dreams & desire of the character. The definition of best thing keeps on altering even for the same individual with due course of time.

A regular life-cycle of a person may witness lots of different ‘best things’ happening to them. But, there is always something ‘better than that best’ which dethrones the previous best phenomenon.

For a little kid the best thing in life is might be the moment when he/she gets permission for that extra time to play in the park even it is getting dark.

For a teenager the best thing in life is might be the little attention he/she receives from their latest crush.

For a young adult the best thing in life is might be the successful clearance of hurdles spread in the path of their desired educational institution.

For a destitute the best thing in life is might be the place he/she secured in the shelter – home for that particular chilly winter.

For a bomb-blast survivor, salvaged life might be the best thing in life while for euthanasia seeking patient end of life can be the best thing for that moment.

For an unwanted girl-child born in a family of patriarchal society getting educated can be the best thing in life.
For a woman suffering domestic violence for years, that momentary courage which helps her to stand against that suffering can be the best thing in life.

For someone the best thing in life can be their wedding day and for some other it can be selection in their best dream job.

A new mom, who had considered other beautiful moments of her life as best things till now, might reallocate this tag to the birth of her newborn. It can also be possible that the same lady after few years consider her grandchildren as the best thing in her life.

Thus this phrase keeps on changing its meaning, its connotation. It depends upon the frame of reference of a person’s life at that particular moment. The occurrences once deemed as best might be outshone by some other ‘better than the best’ happenings.

So, the best thing in life is actually the constant change which keeps on assembling new phases substituting the older ones.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

I really liked this initiative of Blogadda of Writing over Weekend and it seems like it is churning out some decent write-ups from me. Till now my posts WoW-1 & Wow-3 has been selected as best entries, though missed the WoW-4 due to festive season.

Motherhood: A Song for life

This post is written as a part of initiative by Women's web - The ‘Motherhood: A Song For Life’ contest in association with Mom & Me, a one-of-a-kind store for mothers and children.

Six years back when I got married, me & hubby had our priorities clear in our mind. ‘Kids!!!...Nahh, We are not ready yet’, both of us were on the same page. Couple of years passed and we still thought the same. Other factors like home loan, achievements in career track reinforced our thought. We were happy & comfortable in a childless life. Then gradually change of mind happened though it took couple of years more.

Like a perfect project flowchart, everything started happening as per our planning. I conceived, confirmed the news by the gynecologist, informed family members and started planning for my pregnancy. But God has some other plans for us. ‘Thud’….. Our dreams crashed with my sudden miscarriage after a month. Array of mixed feelings flooded my mind in the following months. Strange void replaced that earlier contentment of childless life. I started making use of internet to fish out more information about terms like ovulation & follicular study and took particular interest in TTC forums of various pregnancy sites. I waited for those twin pink lines to appear every month with bated breath.

Finally it happened. This time we were extra cautious and rushed to doctor at slightest discomfort. My pregnancy as well as delivery procedure was smooth as hot knife passes through butter. But the real test commenced after that. Handling that 3 month old all by ourselves evolved me into a "Real Mom". Initial days were quite testing and even a continuous sleep of 4 hours was a luxury for me. I am not embarrassed to confess that many times I just felt like running away from everything to Himalayas or simply say 'I am not gonna play this game' like we used to say as kids while playing with friends.

I know it sounds really horrible feeling for a mom while ideally I should have been mushy and cuddly with my bundle of joy. But here I am jotting down the facts. After working for 6 long years I willingly took the decision to be a SAHM. Decision was tough and the change took its own time to get synced with my system. It was hard to adjust with so many changes simultaneously: soiled nappies, breast-feeding, sleepless days & nights, post delivery low phase, the emptiness which I felt after leaving my job, my health issues....list continued.

But I was able sail through all those changes & turbulent times.  I admit that sometimes I do miss those Pre-Mishti days but I really cherish my life with Mishti as well. I may not be an ideal mom but yes, I have my own criterion of being a "Real Mom". I might not fit into typical stereotyped mother figure and some of my parenting techniques even raise eyebrows of many people. 

My notions are very peculiar about parenting. I may not be a typical parent but now I realize the feeling when people say 'having a kid is like letting a part of yourself roam outside your body'. I get scared for her when I see any so called breaking news crime involving small kids. I feel superb when I see her imitating us. I feel contented when she rushes to me leaving everyone else. I love to hear her gibberish talk. I secretly feel proud whenever she achieves her behavioral & development milestones. I crib when she keeps me on my toes the whole day but pine more about the silence when she sleeps off. I freak out when she throws her ‘toddler tantrums’ but somehow feel fantastic that a new individual brimming with emotions is evolving in front of my eyes.

Actually, she has made us complete. Since her birth Mishti has gradually helped a clumsy, gawky, and klutzy girl transform into a paranoid mom who googles all day about parenting tips & tits-bits. It is because of her I started my blog (somewhat wanted to maintain a baby journal) which carted out my veiled love for writing. But altogether, now I love being a mom….yes, a ‘Real Mom’.

Our Family - Complete with Mishti

WoW - 3

She cannot remember when actually she started believing this cliché and made it a pattern of her behaviour  Every time she does something which follows an awaited result to be declared, she would keep her fingers crossed. And how cannot she forget to mention the chocolate treat after that!!!

Sneh, a bright girl, always showed her mettle is every aspects of life she explored…be it academics, sports, cultural activities, social networking or even in managing her relations. As a kid her dad always encouraged her girl and somehow she aped him in believing on this cliché. ‘Keeping my fingers crossed….’ she had murmured numerous times,hiding her crossed fingers from public eye while eagerly waiting for the winners list. The moment her name was loudly announced as a winner for various diverse activities as elocution, dancing, dramatics, board exams, various entrance tests….the list is long, her dad has treated her with a big bar of chocolate.

She enjoyed her winnings moments in school prior to which she always ‘kept her fingers crossed’.

She topped the city in her college final year and she does remember herself muttering ‘keeping my fingers crossed….!!’ under her breath the whole morning the day results were out. She duly received the big bar of chocolate from her loving & proud dad.

She made it to best corporate giants of the country in the campus interviews. I was ‘keeping my fingers crossed’ till my name was publicized…she recalls.

She met that tall dark handsome colleague….., it was ‘Love at first sight’ for her!! ‘I had been keeping my fingers crossed so many times while we dated’, she recollected. And it worked…he proposed her in the best romantic way over a beautiful candle lit dinner. She ordered Chocolate Fudge Cheesecake for dessert that night.

Her wedding was a dream come true event for her. Her parents ensured grandest wedding of the city by spending a fortune beyond others imagination. Sneh walked the mandap glittering in diamonds, expensive silk and oodles of gold. Although couple of years has already passed since that eventful day, relatives & guests still talk about that grand extravagant wedding.

But her life took a curvaceous turn from there. Dreams shattered after hitting the harsh world of reality. Her confidence, self-esteem & trust were trampled bit by bit by the same person around whom she has woven her silky dreams. Her soul was insulted each day with worse form of verbal abuse. Her inner self was stripped naked by that beastly alcoholic spouse embellished with filthy abuses. She blamed it all on his addiction to alcohol. She thought ‘Otherwise he is such a nice person…just that this alcohol dependency catalyses his inhuman behavior. I am keeping my fingers crossed…..one day everything would be fine’.

But it did not. Apart from verbal abuses he swung to merciless beating. He did not even budge from his violent behavior when she was pregnant. Sneh tolerated this cruel domestic violence with the hope that the birth of their child might bring the betterment in his personality.

Then on a fateful day, inebriated with alcohol he hit her in her tummy and crushed all bleak hope she ever had. He killed their unborn child. She was numb with mental & physical trauma. He unabashedly projected it as an accident to everyone else. She literally lost her voice after that and never protested his version. He has now the perfect alibi even in front of public for seeking refuge in alcohol and drugs.

After few days, an ambulance had to be called to their house to take him to hospital. Hospital staff carried his unconscious body to the hospital…..She accompanied them with a stoned expression on her face. Doctors diagnosed it as overdose of alcohol. He died within couple of hours.

But during those two hours nobody noticed her crossed fingers beneath her saree’s pallu. She muttered continuously ‘I am keeping my fingers crossed…..’ which everyone misunderstood as a prayer of a devoted wife for her dying husband. Finally doctors released his death certificate citing reason of death as ‘natural’ (overdose of drugs & alcohol).

Sneh rushed to the departmental store next to the hospital.

She asked: Do you have that dark chocolate bar whose advertise campaign says ‘You just don’t buy it, YOU EARN IT’…. Can you give me two of that!!!

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

E.T.A. : This also got selected as one of the best entries for the theme. :-)

Strange, weird ...Hallucination!!

Yeah...I would love to hallucinate about a neat & clean home, with lunch-dinner-whatever already cooked, Mishti engrossed in her books & crayons and me- sipping a tall glass of any damn soothing drink, dangling my legs over the sofa armrest while reading a book!!!

But this post is not about my hallucination…I heard about very strange incident yesterday, so thought of sharing it on my blog.

I am learning to drive (four wheeler!!) from a local driving school……and yes, has already completed six-days out of 15 days course.

This story is what has been told to me by the person who is teaching me to drive. It happened like that while I was nervously clenching the steering wheel and praying that all other vehicles on road just vanish, my instructor suddenly became very busy with his swanky phone( it speaks the numbers when dialed…just like train numbers in those robotic announcements!!). He started talking very loudly in Bhojpuri or eastern UP dialect to his ‘Mai’ while giving instructions to me to change gear & apply brakes. After around 5-6 minutes of this loud conversation, I was visibly irritated. Then he said, Madamjee I was talking to my Mom…we are very worried as my kids are missing!!

Me: What!!! Kids?? How many?? ( the way he said 'Bachhe' prompted me to ask how many..!!)

He: Madam, my 4 kids along with my wife went missing 10 days back… You know, I was sending them home with lots of silver jewellery and cash for my sister’s wedding…..but everything is gone now…

Me: Have you informed the police??

He: yeah…but they are doing nothing…actually I know who has abducted them…he was my neighbor who knew about their journey with so much cash…even one of my co-villager saw him with my family in Gurgaon Bus-depot.

Me: So, you told Police about this person….? Your wife knew that person?

He: Arre…they want some witness…Don’t worry…I am going to settle all these things…Last night I saw that her mind is now on track and she wants to come back to me.

Me: (Just ignoring his blabber..) Why don’t you get in touch with some politician regarding this incident…it can speed up the search.

He: I have already met one, they are of little help….Let’s see if at least I get my kids back….?

Me: ( not very comfortable though...) What…you don’t want your wife back?

He: She can come back but you know Madamjee nobody would talk to her in my village anymore…she would be ostracized!!

Me: (Shocked…trying to change the track) so you said you heard her last night…is that on phone?

He: No no…you know there is a very famous ‘Bangali Baba’ nearby…he showed me in a mirror that my wife is now shouting on that kidnapper to get her back to me. He has taken Rs.4000/- and see already my wife’s mind has changed….now this baba is working on to change that guy’s mind as well…so not to worry, he himself would send my wife back!!

Me: Stunned…aghast..Appalled!!

Array of thoughts engulfed my mind after this conversation. This mixed bag of feelings continued to jumble up within itself. Few were:

• I was taken back that how indifferent that person was about the missing of his wife and all he was worried about his cash/ornaments and kids in descending order.
• May be it is all planned by his wife and she has ran away with the neighbor & cash.
• Some serious kidnapping has happened which links to human trafficking.
• The minuscule rate of literacy and awareness in our country facilitate these crooks (that Bangali Baba) to widen their fraud business while they conveniently play with the mind of emotionally weak harried person.
• Somehow, I felt that he has been smoking pot, thus most of his narrative is his hallucination.

Anyway, I was not comfortable throughout the conversation and was quite relieved when I saw another girl sitting in the car today (it was her first class and she wanted to shadow somebody else.)