Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani Collection @Jabong.com - Review

Courtesy: http://www.jabong.com/all-products/?usage=yeh-jawaani-hai-deewani-collection

While casually browsing through some online shopping portals, I accidentally landed on this fabulous collection of Jabong.com. Though I am yet to watch the movie (with a toddler in tow, I avoid going to watch movies outside and prefer to watch when the DVD version is released), but the vibrant chemistry between the protagonists of the movie accessorized with equally vivacious outfits airing in various promotional trailers has already captured my attention.

So, when I came across this Yeh Jawani hai Deewani collection of Jabong.com, I was not able to resist my urge to click on that link. It is categorized into four segments namely ethnic elegance, midnight party, playing it cool and casual cut. Browsing through these categories opened the effervescent world of clothing, jewellery, shoes, bags, accessories in front of my eyes. The whole collection seemed to be synonymic to its name which obviously talks about youth, passion and vibrancy. It looks like assembly of all well-known and popular brands under one big umbrella of Jabong.com. The price range of the products is the cherry on the top with its affordability quotient. Also, Jabong.com is known for its impeccable customer service and quick delivery of products.

The four segments cover all the aspect of dressing need of any young individual for various occasions. So, you can term it as ‘One Stop Shop’ which satiates your need upgrading your wardrobe with few clicks. Although the whole collection is quite attention-grabbing but few items which got my instant likes are:

Courtesy : http://www.jabong.com/e2o-fashion-Green-Sling-Bag-219855.html

Courtesy: http://www.jabong.com/people-Cotton-Black-Printed-Kurta-194106.html

Courtesy: http://www.jabong.com/miaminx-Pink-Tops-216354.html

Coutesy: http://www.jabong.com/hi-look-Layered-Princess-Necklace-212148.html

So, what are you waiting for? Login into this fantastic collection and pamper yourself with some online shopping now!!

This post is written for blog contest by Jabong.com - India's leading OnlineShopping Portal. For more information about the contest please visit Yeh Jawani hai Deewani - Blogger's Contest

Wish someone took care of those warning signs timely...!!

Those warning signs were popping their head since long. But nobody took them seriously. Most of the times it was brushed aside by terming it as ‘ladakpan ka josh’!

No one actually remembers when it all started…or maybe it was there since his birth. He was quite young when he hit his sister just because she refused to take his orders. ‘How can she say No to me…I am her brother…she is just a girl!’ a voice inside him thundered. His family members also took his side and punished that girl for bothering her brother. This first warning sign went unnoticed and in a way this incident established his superiority of male gender in his mind.

 As he grew up, complaints came from neighborhood families about his harassing vulgar behavior and obscene gestures towards their daughters. His family members fought with the neighbors defending him. ‘How can they blame our apple of the eye….those girls must be loose in character’, his father shouted. His mother and grandmother confirmed that those girls are a disgrace to society as they wear jeans occasionally. ‘Boys will be boys ..Right’!! Again this warning sign was also never taken care of.

He always witnessed his mother getting beaten up by his father on petty issues. But, no one in his family ever interfered. He grew up learning that women folk need to be taken control of, and if required violence is necessary to make them toe the line.

After few years, he saw a girl whom he proposed after stalking & passing crude comments. He felt he was in love with her. But surprisingly, she seemed not interested in him. ‘How can she say No to me…I am obliging her by showering my love on her…she is just a girl!’ his mind ranted. She needs to learn a lesson. He abducted her with the help of few friends and raped her. ‘Now she would know what a MAN I am’. The girl’s father complained to the local Panchayat. The Panchayat and other villagers were astonished by the shamelessness of that father. ‘He is making a public farce of his daughter’s rape….ladki ki izzat to gayi!!’ the Sarpanch (head of Panchayat) commented. Anyway, they have to take a decision. So, they ordered that girl to get married to that boy (her rapist). ‘She is already impure now...Who would marry her…at least this boy is decent enough to forgive her for complaining against him and marry her!’ Another big warning sign was twisted to act in his favor.

His married life was similar to that of thousands other couples of this country where domestic violence and tolerating it was a part of fulfilling their marriage vows. He even hit his wife the day after their daughter was born. ‘She deserves to be punished because of her faulty womb which produces a girl’. All the family members’ supported him in his barbaric act. By now, his fire of confidence has been fueled enough as he came out of all these incidents unscarred nonchalantly.

Then one winter night, while driving back from his work on the chartered bus, he saw another girl walking with her friend and seeking public transport. ‘Ohh these city girls, how can they walk at this hour of the day out in streets’, He thought while hatching a heinous crime in his mind. ‘She seems to be asking for it….She needs to be taught a lesson!!’  He did not bat an eyelid to commit the odious felony with his bunch of friends by violating that girl’s physical as well as psychological space. The aftermath of this incident was astonishing …at least to the rapists. Whole country came out in the streets to protest against the barbaric act they committed that night. They demanded for his death sentence. He was confused….. 'I never did anything unusual this time, I am the same person who treated female clan in this way throughout my life…then what is new today? Why are they overreacting?’ He pondered behind the prison bars.

Do we still need the moral of this story? This story is though fictitious with strong resemblance to many individuals of our country who are brought up and conditioned to treat the women in this manner. They are a product of rotten mindset which still prays for male child to be born in their family, who still treat female members of family as the B-grade citizen. The moral of the story strongly conveys the fact that ignoring or feigning unawareness to these kinds of warning signs gives birth to socio-psychological criminals who can rob the humanity of its robe.

Ignoring any warning  signs can lead to worse problems

This post is my entry for Indiblogger contest in association with My Healthy Speak Blog

If it has been there those days...!!!

Dadu! You again landed up with a fracture!...my shriek almost gave another heart attack to the cardiac patients admitted in the adjacent Cardiology ward. I was standing near the hospital bed where my grandfather was lying with a Plaster cast across his right foot.

‘Oh! These hospital people were missing me…so I had to visit them’ Dadu replied nonchalantly.

So, what’s the current count now? 18 or 19? The sarcasm in my voice was evident.

'This is my 19^th fracture, but this is a minor one, only a hair-line crack on my toe' I would not have believed him if I had not known his case-history. He was suffering from acute osteoporosis. Thus, even a small knock or twist resulted fracture of his brittle bones. This deficiency developed in later part of his life and even multiple shots of external calcium supplement didn’t helped to improve the calcium count of his bones. He first broke his bone in the year 1967 when he was still working with Defence Accounts Department of Central Government. That accident changed his whole life. He fell down in a slippery part of his bathroom and broke his left femur bone. Those days, in a small town like Allahabad the medical amenities were too rickety. The government hospitals expressed their inability to procure an orthopedic within stipulated number of days so Dadu has to rush to a private nursing home which claimed of providing orthopedic help to the distressed patients.

That femur fracture required a surgery. However, that hospital very neatly botched up the whole procedure. His bone was wrongly assembled which resulted in shortening of his left foot by 1.5 inches. Yeah…he was never able to walk straight after that! They did couple of rectifying surgeries after this mess but it was futile. Not only that he was crippled for lifetime but few of the nerves of his leg also got affected. Thus the blood supply to that particular limb was also weakened. Not only the hospital messed up the surgical part but they also failed to provide a decent post-surgery support. While his stay in hospital, his family members noticed a small boil on his left ankle. It was brought into the visiting doctor’s notice but they never paid much heed to it. That boil remained there for few months and after that opened up as a wound. However, this was not a simple wound. It refused to get heeled because of lack of blood supply to that part. So, Dadu has to carry that wound on his body which sometimes reduced in size but never heeled completely for rest of his life except once, i.e. next thirty five years!

The only time the wound was completely cured by the help of a bit advanced technology, i.e. skin grafting. A sample of skin was pitched from his thigh muscles (donor area) and placed on the open wound part of his ankle. This procedure was done in early nineties when modern & advanced healthcare facilities have started knocking the door of common man of India.

Modern Day Healthcare has indeed arrived as a boon to the mankind. The advanced medicines & vaccinations, diagnostic tests with the aid of superior machines, Hi-tech surgeries, all these factors has elevated the chances of human race to live a aware, healthy and fit life. Today, whenever I come across any news, article, post about the modern healthcare amenities like this, my heart squirms in pain and helplessness for my grandfather who fought an unyielding battle for three and a half decades. I wish if the present day healthcare infrastructure would have been there to aid him to recoup from a bungled up fracture treatment, the precious thirty five years of his life would have been so different. 

This post is my entry for Indiblogger contest in association with Apollo Hospitals Cutting Edge Medical Care

Maa ...and few realizations!

‘I am writing a Tribute to Mom in association with Parentous.com‘

I had always been the pain in the neck for my Maa (mother) in my own ways. It started while she was heavily pregnant with me and I created ruckus inside her womb from 8^th month only. She had to brave the labor pain for almost four days before giving birth to her first born - that’s me. Yes…you read it correct, FOUR days in severe pain!! Even after my birth I had to send to neo-natal care immediately as my head was bloated with water and most of the people who were eagerly waiting outside the labor-room thought me to be a still-born baby. I heard my birth story almost billion times from all my family members but somehow was never able to relate with the anxiety and tension surrounded with the whole anecdote. I actually enjoyed being the central character who managed to captivate everyone’s attention. But, it seems that destiny has its own plan and timing for teaching us the lessons of life.

When I underwent labor pain which fortunately lasted for only 3 hours, I shuddered at the mere thought that how must have my Maa had tolerated this acute pain for 96 long hours! My daughter had to be admitted NICU (Nursery-ICU) for 24 hours just after her birth because of the excessive bilirubin count (jaundice). I cried and stayed awake for the whole night. Needless to mention here that how I felt like an ungrateful slime ball who never appreciated her mother.

I had been selfish enough throughout the first twenty-five years of my life when I really took her for granted. I rarely cherished her mundane errands which kept her busy the whole day. I understood their significance when I lived alone in another city for my job. The realization part amplified once I got married and had to handle a household of my own. All those chores which she took care and I thought them as automated ones danced like devil in front of my eyes. I wished secretly so many times to hop into time machine and go back to those days when I didn’t acknowledge her efforts.

Last year when I suffered from a type of temporary Anosmia ( a medical state when you lose the smelling sense) and felt like a handicap person by losing one of the important senses  of my life. I felt so incomplete. Then I realized how difficult it was for her to deal with her hearing problem for so long. She is hearing impaired from one ear since her teenage days. But, she had been all ears for her kids to that extent that I was not even aware of her hearing problem for the first decade of my life.

None of her physical shortcomings created hurdle for her as she learned to deal with outside chores with same zeal as she participated in household work. Now, she takes care of the entire bank, post office related jobs, various bill payments and even filing income tax return. She keeps herself updated with the national & international news by her regular dosage of news paper and TV channels.

Today, life comes to a full circle when my toddler sways her hand and says ‘No’ to her Tiffin while munches happily whatever is there in her daycare friend’s lunch box. I can understand how she had felt when I compared my lunch box with my school mates’ box many times. I had been rude to her, acted so difficult sometimes and now I know that I might have to face the same music few years down the line.

Thus, I am taking this opportunity to say ‘Thank You Maa’ for all what you have given, all what you have restricted, for whatever you have taught, whatever you have instilled in my mind to make me the person what I am today. I now can comprehend what you used to say ‘'having a kid is like letting a part of yourself roam outside your body'’!

Two person in this world who made me understand the real meaning of Motherhood 

Selfless Soldier

As a school kid we found him scary – with thick moustache covering almost half of his face and big rolling eyes, he managed to create that aura in his personality which actually his profession required. He was the watchman – chowkidar – guard who took his position near the gate of Girls Degree College since many years. Our school was situated just opposite to that college. I saw him relentlessly present on his duty every day since I was in kindergarten.  He shooed away the school kids with his loud voice, who loitered in front of that college gate apart from shouting on the cycle rickshaw pullers who jostled to get customers from the college. We called him Muchhad (a typical slang used for a person with big moustache).

This incident happened when I was in Class 10^th. It was the first day of our school’s summer vacation; however the college was still open. Our batch was called to school to attend some extra classes. By the time, we came out after our classes around 2PM; the road in front of our school was deserted with hardly few people around. Among those people, there were few boys in their early twenties who were seen regularly wandering in front of that girl’s college with malicious intentions. They didn’t even spared schoolgirls and always searched for triggers to enter into a fistfight with the boys of our school. They sketched opportunities to vent out their perversion – Stalking, hooting, whistling and sometimes even dared to grope few girls.

I would not dilute their heinous behavior by calling them eve-teasers or road side Romeos, but they were assaulters – who assaulted girls psychologically and physically without any shame. That time, we have already heard from grapevine that some ugly incident has happened few days back. A girl has mustered courage to confront them when she was assaulted and even slapped one of the hooligans. This gave guts to other girls and they managed to scare those guys enough to leave from that place instantly before the college administration stepped into the issue. For next few days, those guys never turned up.

But, on that particular day, I saw those guys waiting like hawks on their bikes. Next I saw a bunch of girls coming out from that college. Suddenly, a bike with three people sitting on it zipped in front of them, forcing them to halt. One of those guys took out a dagger and held it closely near that girl’s neck who has slapped them. Other girls stepped back in fear. The other pillion rider guy leaped in the scene with a bottle of acid in his hand. We were dumbstruck with the fearful intensity of the happenings which has numbed our senses and transformed us into mute spectators.

That creep was about to open that Acid bottle when out of sudden Muchhad jumped into the scene. He started shouting hysterically and hit the guy with the lone weapon in his hand – his stick. He dropped the Acid bottle with the blow which broke into pieces with a sizzling sound and splash of acid all over the ground. Muchhad continued to hit that guy with his stick. By this time, the first guy left the girl and attacked Muchhad to save his friend. He stabbed him with his dagger on his arm twice and all three of them beat a retreat from the scene hastily. I returned to my senses with my fellow classmates shouting and running inside the school for help. Soon, many people from both the college & school rushed to the spot for help where Muchhad was bleeding profusely but still in his senses. He was taken to nearby hospital and his wounds almost took a month to heal. He joined back his duty afterwards and was felicitated by the college management.

Whenever I passed thorough that road even after graduating from the school, I made sure to catch a glimpse of that altruistic person. Few years back, during my visit to my hometown, I searched for him again but found a new face in his place. My niece, who studies in the same school, told me that Muchhad died few months back.

Although this incident took place almost couple of decades back but still today I salute that selfless soldier who never gave a second thought before jumping into the crime scene. Even the fact that those guys were armed was not able to deter his action. His mind only raced & reacted to save that girl whose face & body could have been charred by that acid. His quick reaction and presence of mind not only averted that ugly incident but even managed to draw attention to the shoddy safety measures implanted by management & government for school & college students. He could have remained silent, He could have just been a mere spectator, but his soldier instinct compelled him to act without even caring for his own well-being. Although he was not educated enough, but his action has proven his mettle to the world.

This post is a part of #Soldierforwomen in association with BlogAdda.com

Shave or Crave!!

It was my birthday few days ago.  This year it was special as my 18 month old actively participated in all the celebrations… be it wishing me at 12 midnight, savoring birthday cake, enjoying Pizza lunch or accompanying us for an elaborate dinner arranged by my hubby.

To make my day special, my hubby tried his best to give me small surprises throughout the day. However, one thing which I really wanted was that he should get rid of his stubble. It might look great for one evening but that’s it….not beyond that! But, being a non-nagging spouse who believes in giving space (!!) in relationship, I was never able to voice my thought to him. I tried passing subtle hints but alas!!..... He turned out to be a geek in understanding those clues.

 My first try went in vain when I commented that SRK looks like sick old man in his latest flick with that facial hair. Nevertheless, hubby didn't bit this bait as well and never even bothered to think why I am suddenly disparaging my teenage crush.

Then, when he took me out for birthday shopping, I suggested him buying an expensive shaving kit as return gift. But he refused any return gift by showcasing his persona’s humble attribute!

After cutting the cake in afternoon with friends my face was smeared with cream & icing of the cake by them. I purposely applied cake on his face as well so that it might trigger him to shave off that facial mane. But, he came out of the wash room glowing with all the cream facial and I even noticed few white hairs gleaming on his cheek along with the black ones. I took this as an opportunity and casually commented that it exhibits his ‘other side of 30’ age to the world. But he ducked this bouncer and claimed that finally he can portray his much desired ‘salt-n-pepper’ look!

Then it was the grand-dinner time. I wanted to look best for the evening so got ready accordingly. My li’l princess was dolled up in a beautiful princess dress. Hubby also took his time to wear his classy attire. Everything was perfect except that stubble. He thought it gave an intellectual look his guise!

Now, before we stepped out, hubby felt that this moment should be captured in a camera. Being a proud father, he took our daughter in his arms and asked me to click a nice snap. He tried to give a cuddly pose by chafing his cheek on her face…..and Fatttaakk!! The li’l lady pushed her dad’s face away with all her might and shouted ‘Oooohooo, Daddy Oohhhoooo’ and ran away. In her dictionary, this elongated ‘Oooohhhooo’ means pain. Now, it was a funny scenario. She kept running away from her daddy and shouting this melodramatic expression every time he insisted picking her up. Finally, he gave up. He glared at the watch and rushed towards the washroom. Within few minutes the man of our house emerged out with a clean shaven look. Our daughter looked at him intently and then jumped in his lap. He also understood that either he has to 'Shave' or 'Crave' for his daughter's proximity. Daddy happy, Dotty happy ……and me also super happy!! 

This post is a part of the 'Shave or Crave' movement in association with BlogAdda.com

Wow - 5

The best thing in life is…… as per me it is quite relative & subjective to every individual and circumstances. It changes its face value depending upon the dreams & desire of the character. The definition of best thing keeps on altering even for the same individual with due course of time.

A regular life-cycle of a person may witness lots of different ‘best things’ happening to them. But, there is always something ‘better than that best’ which dethrones the previous best phenomenon.

For a little kid the best thing in life is might be the moment when he/she gets permission for that extra time to play in the park even it is getting dark.

For a teenager the best thing in life is might be the little attention he/she receives from their latest crush.

For a young adult the best thing in life is might be the successful clearance of hurdles spread in the path of their desired educational institution.

For a destitute the best thing in life is might be the place he/she secured in the shelter – home for that particular chilly winter.

For a bomb-blast survivor, salvaged life might be the best thing in life while for euthanasia seeking patient end of life can be the best thing for that moment.

For an unwanted girl-child born in a family of patriarchal society getting educated can be the best thing in life.
For a woman suffering domestic violence for years, that momentary courage which helps her to stand against that suffering can be the best thing in life.

For someone the best thing in life can be their wedding day and for some other it can be selection in their best dream job.

A new mom, who had considered other beautiful moments of her life as best things till now, might reallocate this tag to the birth of her newborn. It can also be possible that the same lady after few years consider her grandchildren as the best thing in her life.

Thus this phrase keeps on changing its meaning, its connotation. It depends upon the frame of reference of a person’s life at that particular moment. The occurrences once deemed as best might be outshone by some other ‘better than the best’ happenings.

So, the best thing in life is actually the constant change which keeps on assembling new phases substituting the older ones.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

I really liked this initiative of Blogadda of Writing over Weekend and it seems like it is churning out some decent write-ups from me. Till now my posts WoW-1 & Wow-3 has been selected as best entries, though missed the WoW-4 due to festive season.

Motherhood: A Song for life

This post is written as a part of initiative by Women's web - The ‘Motherhood: A Song For Life’ contest in association with Mom & Me, a one-of-a-kind store for mothers and children.

Six years back when I got married, me & hubby had our priorities clear in our mind. ‘Kids!!!...Nahh, We are not ready yet’, both of us were on the same page. Couple of years passed and we still thought the same. Other factors like home loan, achievements in career track reinforced our thought. We were happy & comfortable in a childless life. Then gradually change of mind happened though it took couple of years more.

Like a perfect project flowchart, everything started happening as per our planning. I conceived, confirmed the news by the gynecologist, informed family members and started planning for my pregnancy. But God has some other plans for us. ‘Thud’….. Our dreams crashed with my sudden miscarriage after a month. Array of mixed feelings flooded my mind in the following months. Strange void replaced that earlier contentment of childless life. I started making use of internet to fish out more information about terms like ovulation & follicular study and took particular interest in TTC forums of various pregnancy sites. I waited for those twin pink lines to appear every month with bated breath.

Finally it happened. This time we were extra cautious and rushed to doctor at slightest discomfort. My pregnancy as well as delivery procedure was smooth as hot knife passes through butter. But the real test commenced after that. Handling that 3 month old all by ourselves evolved me into a "Real Mom". Initial days were quite testing and even a continuous sleep of 4 hours was a luxury for me. I am not embarrassed to confess that many times I just felt like running away from everything to Himalayas or simply say 'I am not gonna play this game' like we used to say as kids while playing with friends.

I know it sounds really horrible feeling for a mom while ideally I should have been mushy and cuddly with my bundle of joy. But here I am jotting down the facts. After working for 6 long years I willingly took the decision to be a SAHM. Decision was tough and the change took its own time to get synced with my system. It was hard to adjust with so many changes simultaneously: soiled nappies, breast-feeding, sleepless days & nights, post delivery low phase, the emptiness which I felt after leaving my job, my health issues....list continued.

But I was able sail through all those changes & turbulent times.  I admit that sometimes I do miss those Pre-Mishti days but I really cherish my life with Mishti as well. I may not be an ideal mom but yes, I have my own criterion of being a "Real Mom". I might not fit into typical stereotyped mother figure and some of my parenting techniques even raise eyebrows of many people. 

My notions are very peculiar about parenting. I may not be a typical parent but now I realize the feeling when people say 'having a kid is like letting a part of yourself roam outside your body'. I get scared for her when I see any so called breaking news crime involving small kids. I feel superb when I see her imitating us. I feel contented when she rushes to me leaving everyone else. I love to hear her gibberish talk. I secretly feel proud whenever she achieves her behavioral & development milestones. I crib when she keeps me on my toes the whole day but pine more about the silence when she sleeps off. I freak out when she throws her ‘toddler tantrums’ but somehow feel fantastic that a new individual brimming with emotions is evolving in front of my eyes.

Actually, she has made us complete. Since her birth Mishti has gradually helped a clumsy, gawky, and klutzy girl transform into a paranoid mom who googles all day about parenting tips & tits-bits. It is because of her I started my blog (somewhat wanted to maintain a baby journal) which carted out my veiled love for writing. But altogether, now I love being a mom….yes, a ‘Real Mom’.

Our Family - Complete with Mishti

WoW - 3

She cannot remember when actually she started believing this cliché and made it a pattern of her behaviour  Every time she does something which follows an awaited result to be declared, she would keep her fingers crossed. And how cannot she forget to mention the chocolate treat after that!!!

Sneh, a bright girl, always showed her mettle is every aspects of life she explored…be it academics, sports, cultural activities, social networking or even in managing her relations. As a kid her dad always encouraged her girl and somehow she aped him in believing on this cliché. ‘Keeping my fingers crossed….’ she had murmured numerous times,hiding her crossed fingers from public eye while eagerly waiting for the winners list. The moment her name was loudly announced as a winner for various diverse activities as elocution, dancing, dramatics, board exams, various entrance tests….the list is long, her dad has treated her with a big bar of chocolate.

She enjoyed her winnings moments in school prior to which she always ‘kept her fingers crossed’.

She topped the city in her college final year and she does remember herself muttering ‘keeping my fingers crossed….!!’ under her breath the whole morning the day results were out. She duly received the big bar of chocolate from her loving & proud dad.

She made it to best corporate giants of the country in the campus interviews. I was ‘keeping my fingers crossed’ till my name was publicized…she recalls.

She met that tall dark handsome colleague….., it was ‘Love at first sight’ for her!! ‘I had been keeping my fingers crossed so many times while we dated’, she recollected. And it worked…he proposed her in the best romantic way over a beautiful candle lit dinner. She ordered Chocolate Fudge Cheesecake for dessert that night.

Her wedding was a dream come true event for her. Her parents ensured grandest wedding of the city by spending a fortune beyond others imagination. Sneh walked the mandap glittering in diamonds, expensive silk and oodles of gold. Although couple of years has already passed since that eventful day, relatives & guests still talk about that grand extravagant wedding.

But her life took a curvaceous turn from there. Dreams shattered after hitting the harsh world of reality. Her confidence, self-esteem & trust were trampled bit by bit by the same person around whom she has woven her silky dreams. Her soul was insulted each day with worse form of verbal abuse. Her inner self was stripped naked by that beastly alcoholic spouse embellished with filthy abuses. She blamed it all on his addiction to alcohol. She thought ‘Otherwise he is such a nice person…just that this alcohol dependency catalyses his inhuman behavior. I am keeping my fingers crossed…..one day everything would be fine’.

But it did not. Apart from verbal abuses he swung to merciless beating. He did not even budge from his violent behavior when she was pregnant. Sneh tolerated this cruel domestic violence with the hope that the birth of their child might bring the betterment in his personality.

Then on a fateful day, inebriated with alcohol he hit her in her tummy and crushed all bleak hope she ever had. He killed their unborn child. She was numb with mental & physical trauma. He unabashedly projected it as an accident to everyone else. She literally lost her voice after that and never protested his version. He has now the perfect alibi even in front of public for seeking refuge in alcohol and drugs.

After few days, an ambulance had to be called to their house to take him to hospital. Hospital staff carried his unconscious body to the hospital…..She accompanied them with a stoned expression on her face. Doctors diagnosed it as overdose of alcohol. He died within couple of hours.

But during those two hours nobody noticed her crossed fingers beneath her saree’s pallu. She muttered continuously ‘I am keeping my fingers crossed…..’ which everyone misunderstood as a prayer of a devoted wife for her dying husband. Finally doctors released his death certificate citing reason of death as ‘natural’ (overdose of drugs & alcohol).

Sneh rushed to the departmental store next to the hospital.

She asked: Do you have that dark chocolate bar whose advertise campaign says ‘You just don’t buy it, YOU EARN IT’…. Can you give me two of that!!!

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

E.T.A. : This also got selected as one of the best entries for the theme. :-)

WoW - 2

‘Paradigm shift ‘can be fitted as most the appropriate term for my life. A person who was kind of workaholic or to be more precise loved to spend time in office finishing various assignments at the earliest  or just covering up for various other colleagues( who were on leaves) while handling their team members is now afraid of the word ‘going to work’ . Discussions about her second innings in professional arena after the maternity sabbatical initiates ‘anxiety pangs’ in her biological system now.

During six years of my professional life there were numerous days when I had spent almost 10-12 hours at work…and that too willingly!! I went to work even couple of days before my baby was born. No one ever assumed even when I was pregnant that I would leave my job & would be a full-time SAHM. But then I made my mind understand and took that difficult decision in my perfect senses….and believe me I am not at all repentant about it.

Initially we decided that I would leave my current job & take a break of around six months and would start searching job by March 2012. But, then my sister’s marriage got scheduled later this year. So we postponed the plan as being the only sibling my presence is quite inescapable in all the arrangements & functions…..and expecting & asking leave just after joining job is quite a turn-off for me. Throughout the whole course of discussion I remained torn between excitement to join work & anxious to leave back my baby at home.

However, I would like to admit here that somehow secretly I felt bit relaxed & happy to be able to spend more time with my kid. I hushed away all the anxiety & sloppy thoughts which hovered my mind whenever I thought about my li’l princess being alone with maid or in an alien environment of day-care. Akin to an Ostrich I denied the presence of storm by shoving my head in sand. I even dreaded to discuss this maid vs. daycare option with my spouse and slyly slipped away whenever he initiated the discussion.

But now, it seems that I can no longer avoid this scenario. Sister’s marriage would be over in November…….So I am waking up, now that September has ended.  I have to shake myself to be awake from my blissful dream to face the reality…..I cannot delay my job hunt more. This is turning out to be a tricky situation….. One part of me wants to join back the league pretty badly while the other part want to be with my kid all the time. I am not weighing any rationale behind this state of my mind……these are just pure ‘wants’ of my soul.

My mind is now taking over my heart and is waking up, now that September has ended. I have started extensive search for good daycare and a full-time maid after settling the required criteria with my hubby.  The next in pipeline is updating my resume in various job-portals. Along with all these search & researches my mind is conditioning my heart to be prepared for the forthcoming change & its twin sister turbulence. Let’s see how I am going to face it…..Kya kare Dil hai ki Maanta nahin!!!

I am so thankful to Blogadda for these topics of WoW which is helping me to blurt out my ramblings in form of blogging.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

JMPE contest won......

Yayayyyy....won the prize for blogging contest by Yashodhara Lal (her debut book Just
Married, Please excuse is launched recently),would be joining the lunch with the writer & Chief Editor of Harper Collins soon.

For a rookie blogger like this is indeed an exciting moment....Looking forward for Saturday. 

Check out other wonderful entries as well....It seems like everyone has some goofy things shoved under their wedding blanket!!!

Again following Smita's book review I have ordered 'Bangalore Calling' from homeshop18. Also, it is so nice of Smita who told me about another website where I can compare the prices of books available in various online stores. Do check it out:

http://www.kbooksearch.com/

Love Marriage V/s Arranged Marriage

Love Marriage V/s Arranged Marriage....

When I first read about this contest, thoughts & counter logic started oozing my mind, but as I sat down to jot down those thoughts it was all muzzled up and confusing. I felt that the reason behind it is because of my neutral views about the subject.

As per my opinion, both types of marriages carry their own baggage. We cannot generalize them under any particular category and measure their success quotient by applying single formula to all these marriages.

I have seen carefully chosen & perfectly matched arranged alliances going haywire and also passionately loving couple getting married after almost 7 years of ‘knowing each other’ and then filing for divorce after couple of years, following a series of ugly incidents.

My idea of marriage includes few important components without which whatever might have been the path of marriage – love or arranged, it is bound to show up cracks……..which either the couple try to fill up with compromise or just let it be there to widen and eventually break up.

First and foremost thing is ‘Mutual Respect’. Yes, if the partners lack the respect then it obviously reflects in their behavior which ends up in hurt sentiments & chipped ego. Be it a Love Marriage (LM) or Arranged Marriage (AM) if the ‘Mutual Respect’ is missing then partners end up fighting with each other hurling sarcastic & irrelevant remarks on each other.

The next is ‘Understanding’. This factor requires lots of maturity from both the partners. Sometimes you just have to understand the emotions & behavior of each other and their respective circumstances to flow freely through this river of marriage.

Another key factor is ‘Expectations’. This develops on the platform of an individual’s upbringing, thoughtprocess & mentality. Wrong or unrealistic expectations kill the marriage – be it LM or AM. One of my ex-colleague boasted about his passionate love story and was always showing off his intense love for his partner. The girl was a MBA & was working in a MNC. She came from a liberal family. Boy was quite aware of her & her family’s contemporary views but the moment they got married he expected her to become docile daughter-in-law who never opens her mouth in front of her in-laws, not even for eating food ( forget about expressing opinions)!!!

Then there are other factors like ‘care’, ‘love’, ‘concern’ & 'attachment'. Many would be surprised with this fact that I have not given ‘love’ that much of importance in the hierarchy. It is because I believe that over a period of time in any healthy relationship these factors develop & grows eventually.

Then there are so many stereotypes attached to both LM & AM.

Some people say that Love marriages fall apart easily because of lack of social security. But that is quite a hideous statement. It is all between the chemistry of partners which takes the situation in its desired direction – positive or negative. So, even if there is an arranged marriage and the tuning is loose, it might go ashtray.

Sometimes, parents & family members take it personally on their ego if the children want to marry their choice of partner. They just cannot accept to let the ‘control' go out of their hands. Bu they just forget that if a person is old enough to vote & elect a government then why he/she can’t chose their life partner. One of my neighbors who is searching an alliance for her son want her DIL to be less educated & very average looking ( yes, she mentioned these eligibility criteria)!!! The reason of her choice is that then the girl would lack in confidence & never dare to speak back to her husband & in-laws. I really feel pity for the would -be DIL who would be brought in the chess game of the house politics as a pawn by the queen bee who loves to reign the house!!!

My personal opinion also negates this concept of love in the whole affair of ‘love marriage’. I feel that unless & until you stay with a person & share the same house you are not able to understand the actual person to a large extent. Everybody presents their best face forward when they meet their heartthrobs or fiancée. So, even if the AM advocates shout about the liberal courtship allowed nowadays before any AM or the LM supporters vouch on their years of ‘seeing each other’, it remains incomplete & veiled till the time both the partners stay with each other to observe & absorb habits, behavior & way of living.

So here I see that I am back to square one where I started this post. It may sound like some rant but I cannot help it much. I mentioned earlier that I have quite mixed opinion about this topic.

This post is my entry for the Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage on Indiblogger.

The 'Just Married, Please Excuse' Contest

Since yesterday when I bumped into this contest by Yashodhara whose debut book has been launched recently, my blogging fingers itched to jot down few of the weird moments of our married life. Also, how can I not mention the highlighted words which caught my attention like “Mamagato”, “Gurgaon”, “free copies of book” and gave me a bleak hope that being a blogger from Gurgaon might act as an added advantage in my favour. (errr kidding….huh! :-))

As I go through Yashodhara’s blog and keep reading her previous posts, I regret why I have not been at her space earlier….Anyway, better late than never!

So here I try to recap few incidents related to our marriage and just after that.

Our marriage ceremony was packed with ‘comedy of errors & misunderstandings’. All Baraatis dispersed & went back home leaving few young cousins and an aunt of SG behind even before the completion of marriage rituals due to some stupid misunderstandings. The groom side priest took advantage of the situation and left hastily after them citing some weird excuses without completing all the important rituals….like Saptapadi or Saat pheras was skipped completely!!

In the midst of all these confusions, while my side priest was conducting the ritual of ‘Sampradan /Kanyadaan’, another funny incident happened which we noticed only when the video recordings were seen later.  SG’s knowledge of Bengali language is quite limited…while he can speak it mixed with a perfect north Indian accent, he, kind of struggles and gets confused if somebody speaks in fluent Bengali. So we saw in the video that SG was trying hard to follow instructions from our priest about when to repeat the ‘shlokas/mantras’, when to fold hands and so on. When the priest asked my dad to repeat after him the mantras of Kanyadaan, he also instructed SG to keep his hand on mine. GOD only knows  what SG understood & the next thing we saw him repeating the mantras of ‘Kanyadaan’ after the priest. So, in case we take all these rituals seriously( I generally don’t..!) it indicates that my dad performed my ‘Kanyadaan’  to SG and the ‘SG’ did my ‘Kanyadaan’ to GOD knows whom!!

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This second incident falls completely in the category of ‘Just married’ if in case the first one fails to make the entry because of the fact that we were still not ‘completely’ married then.

At the time of my ‘Grihapravesh’ in SG’s house, we had a seriously stupid ritual where I (bride) had to hold a ‘live’ fish kept in a bowl of water with my hand for couple of minutes!!! 

Here I should mention that I am a scaredy cat....I am very scared of any living being (except human) on this earth. Forget about dogs or cats, I cannot even run fingers through furry coat of a cute rabbit or birds or even pat an innocent cow. A mouse or mole in vicinity can bring out the most ‘versatile’ dance out of me!!! 

Anyway, I digress. Now, when I had to hold that slimy moving fish I was petrified. Being a new bride, I was even not able to refuse to participate in it outright. I tried to put my best brave face forward, but, the very moment my fingers touched that fish which wriggled away splashing water, all my acting skills botched. I shrieked, jumped, shouted and people even witnessed that ‘versatile’ dance by me duly applauded by my perfect hubby in the background!!

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The third incident happened just few days after my marriage when relatives had dwindled back to their home and we were just enjoying our marriage vacation at my in-laws place.

One evening I wanted to eat Momos, but in that city we don't get roadside stalls to buy  momos easily like we get in Delhi NCR. I thought of bugging SG about it and also test his ‘hubby skills’ to fulfill wife’s abrupt demands.

As SG was in FIL’s shop that time so that my FIL can take some rest I tried calling him on his cell phone. When I realized that he has forgotten his mobile phone in his room, I called on the landline number.

(The conversation happened in Hindi)

Me: Hello, Ghosh!! (Yes, I used to call him with his last name)

Other side:  Haan..Kaun? (Yes.. who is this?)              

Me: Sun na….Yahan Momos milta hai kya?? (Listen…Do we get Momos here?)

Other side: Kya…kya chahiye ?? ( What…What do you want?)          

Me: Arre…Momos !!! yahan pe momos kahan milega!! ( Momos!!!....Where can we get Momos here!)

Other side: Jee…ye to hamari dukan me nahin milega…aap kahin aur pata kar lijiye. (This is not available in our shop…you enquire somewhere else.)

Me: ????

Then suddenly I realized that it was my FIL’s voice which I mistaken for SG. And how can I forget that SG is not the only ‘Ghosh’ here but I am surrounded by the whole ‘Ghosh’ clan.  I hurriedly hung up and cursed my stupidity for this ’face-palm’ moment!! When SG came to know about it…..like a perfect hubby, he shared it with everyone in the family embarrassing me to the core.

While writing this post, I felt that walking down this specific memory lane is quite fun. Thanks to this contest for letting me revive this enjoyment.