Everything in this world comes with a price tag...

Everything in this world comes with a price tag!!. Why this sudden realization of materialistic nature of world cropped inside me? This insight actually keeps on popping in my head since my daughter was born.

I am a mom who has to take the charge of the turbulent ship of parenting of a 3 month old alongwith her hands-on spouse who was equally naive about parenting as her.  My mother was there to support me during my delivery and she stayed back for couple of months after that. But prolonging her stay was not a feasible option for her. Following months witnessed a completely different persona of mine. I fretted, got irritated and almost gave up lot many times. I took refuge of Google-dev, got myself enrolled in n-number of parenting forums and fished out internet to amplify my awareness about parenting nuances. My mobile phone bills soared with the long duration calls made to my mother & mother-in-law to discuss the changing color of poop of my daughter. Joining back to work became a distant option for me.

As time passed by, the level of challenges to be a nuclear mommy sky-rocketed.  Activities like taking bath & answering nature calls took record minimal time to get completed. Other household errands took place only when ‘her highness’ doze her beauty sleep. I went green with envy for those ladies who had the presence of elder generation at their home and enjoys the wonderful cushion of support system to handle their kids. Sometimes I also did felt selfish about my change of mindset about nuclear family, a concept which I liked till now.

But, few interaction with one of my neighbor who was incidentally a new mom (her kid is only few months elder to mine) staying in a joint family set up compelled me to review the backdrop of my cribbing. 

Read the complete post in Parentous :) Do share your views with comments.

Motherhood: A Song for life

This post is written as a part of initiative by Women's web - The ‘Motherhood: A Song For Life’ contest in association with Mom & Me, a one-of-a-kind store for mothers and children.

Six years back when I got married, me & hubby had our priorities clear in our mind. ‘Kids!!!...Nahh, We are not ready yet’, both of us were on the same page. Couple of years passed and we still thought the same. Other factors like home loan, achievements in career track reinforced our thought. We were happy & comfortable in a childless life. Then gradually change of mind happened though it took couple of years more.

Like a perfect project flowchart, everything started happening as per our planning. I conceived, confirmed the news by the gynecologist, informed family members and started planning for my pregnancy. But God has some other plans for us. ‘Thud’….. Our dreams crashed with my sudden miscarriage after a month. Array of mixed feelings flooded my mind in the following months. Strange void replaced that earlier contentment of childless life. I started making use of internet to fish out more information about terms like ovulation & follicular study and took particular interest in TTC forums of various pregnancy sites. I waited for those twin pink lines to appear every month with bated breath.

Finally it happened. This time we were extra cautious and rushed to doctor at slightest discomfort. My pregnancy as well as delivery procedure was smooth as hot knife passes through butter. But the real test commenced after that. Handling that 3 month old all by ourselves evolved me into a "Real Mom". Initial days were quite testing and even a continuous sleep of 4 hours was a luxury for me. I am not embarrassed to confess that many times I just felt like running away from everything to Himalayas or simply say 'I am not gonna play this game' like we used to say as kids while playing with friends.

I know it sounds really horrible feeling for a mom while ideally I should have been mushy and cuddly with my bundle of joy. But here I am jotting down the facts. After working for 6 long years I willingly took the decision to be a SAHM. Decision was tough and the change took its own time to get synced with my system. It was hard to adjust with so many changes simultaneously: soiled nappies, breast-feeding, sleepless days & nights, post delivery low phase, the emptiness which I felt after leaving my job, my health issues....list continued.

But I was able sail through all those changes & turbulent times.  I admit that sometimes I do miss those Pre-Mishti days but I really cherish my life with Mishti as well. I may not be an ideal mom but yes, I have my own criterion of being a "Real Mom". I might not fit into typical stereotyped mother figure and some of my parenting techniques even raise eyebrows of many people. 

My notions are very peculiar about parenting. I may not be a typical parent but now I realize the feeling when people say 'having a kid is like letting a part of yourself roam outside your body'. I get scared for her when I see any so called breaking news crime involving small kids. I feel superb when I see her imitating us. I feel contented when she rushes to me leaving everyone else. I love to hear her gibberish talk. I secretly feel proud whenever she achieves her behavioral & development milestones. I crib when she keeps me on my toes the whole day but pine more about the silence when she sleeps off. I freak out when she throws her ‘toddler tantrums’ but somehow feel fantastic that a new individual brimming with emotions is evolving in front of my eyes.

Actually, she has made us complete. Since her birth Mishti has gradually helped a clumsy, gawky, and klutzy girl transform into a paranoid mom who googles all day about parenting tips & tits-bits. It is because of her I started my blog (somewhat wanted to maintain a baby journal) which carted out my veiled love for writing. But altogether, now I love being a mom….yes, a ‘Real Mom’.

Our Family - Complete with Mishti

Happy Birthday Mishti....

Mishtuuuu, Mishtiiiii, Mithai....You turn a year old today. You are a perfect case of  'planned baby'...we like some meticulous parents even planned your date of birth! You never troubled me during the pregnancy or even with labour pains. I still remember the sudden cease of contracting pain with you popping out . Next moment I was asking doctor "Kya hua, Kya hua" and when doctor said "wait wait...let the baby cry first" my heart just stopped beating for that moment. I literally felt the oxygen back to my lungs as I faintly saw the ped patting your back - your waaaaaaaaannnnnn - my doctor saying 'It's a girl'.

This one is one of the initial snaps taken by her mashu who treats Mishti as some celebrity!!

For first few days, I was clueless and confused about my emotions....It was all muzzled up...happy, sad, worry, anxiety, pride, scared. Honestly baby, I never felt mushy or cuddly when I first took you in my arms....but i realized what you mean to me on 4th June when you had to be admitted in hospital for your excess bilirubin count. When they said that you would be there in the NICU for 24 hrs all alone....my heart ached. I literally pleaded to them to allow me to sit in the reception for those 24 hrs....which they didn't. I was not able to control my tears on my way back home. However, next morning we saw you from outside the glass taking UV ray bath with a eye-mask and kicking the walls of the glass box like a "Dabang Chhori".

Pic courtesy: Mishti's Techno-Mamu ( my cousin)

You taught me so many things while you climb up with your milestone ladder. Like I said, you never troubled me hard. You were like 'fill my tummy & check my diapers regularly - I would never bother you guys'. You took your own time in everything. We were about to send mails to Guinness Book of records when you turned on your tummy before you were 2.5 months old. We also thought of taking you to ped when your head was still wobbly and when you never tried to sit unassisted till your 8th month.We worried when you struggled to make your body posture comfortable for crawling and soon we were amazed when we saw you crawling so fast as if you were in F1 track. We never realized how easily your teeth popped out without any teething symptoms ( You have 6 teeth now). But sooner or later we realized that all these would be an integral part of baby mile-stones and we have to relax and take a chill-pill!!!

You are a MOODY eater Mishtu. I don't understand why do you make it so difficult for yourself & Mamma? I never force-feed you, Do I?...and because of that you make me feel guilty that I am not caring enough for you. Some days you gobble everything that is given to you while some other days you just refuse to open your mouth. You love to take your share from our plates even if it is spicy.  Lately you have graduated to the normal food what we eat.

You just love music. You keep yourself glued to watch any peppy songs. Now you also sway your hand & shake upper part of your body as you watch any of your favourite songs or if we say "Nache nache" ( as taught by your dida).

You are able to stand on your own and cruise throughout the house to find anything which you can pull down with your super-grip. You know Mishtu, couple of days back I have even noticed you taking few independent baby steps but never told anyone ... because I know you would never show this feat to them on demand...so let them find out on their own!!!

Mishti...I love the way you rush towards me if anybody cuddles me saying "Amar Mamma". It makes me feel so important. I love it when you put your hand forward for hand-shake if anybody says 'Hi Ishaani...' to you with extended hands.....just because I taught you this!! I love when you burst into giggles with any of our silly games and never feel tired to repeat it again and again. I cannot hide my smile when you show me your index finger when I say 'NO' to you. I love the way you frown & arch your eye-brows like your dad!!

Now a days you have also learnt to throw some tantrums and let everybody know about likes & dislikes on the drop of the hat. You also babble a lot and try to communicate & sing with others in their tone....Like mother-like daughter.

Earlier I thought , I would write to you on your first birthday what I want for you in life ...but as this post is simply about you and not me therefore would cover it is separate post.

Amar Bachha...Happy Birthday to you dear....wish loads & loads of happiness & fun for you . May GOD bless you with a healthy, safe, secure & happy life.

Love U Shona....Keep smiling like this.

12 pics- each for every month

A Mom speaks...

This year on the Mother's Day for the first time I would standing on the other side of fence...yes my first Mother's Day as a mom!!!

Mishti would be one year old soon ( 18 days left!!) and this one year passed as the most happening and significant year of my life. Learned so many things, unlearned many behaviours, discovered a completely different side of mine throughout this year as I sailed with Mishti on the journey of motherhood.

In my case, pregnancy and delivery was as smooth as hot knife passes through butter. But the real test commenced after that. All alone to handle that 3 month old made me a "Real Mom". Initial days were quite testing and sleeping continuously for 4 hours was a luxury for me. I am not embarrassed to confess that many times I just felt like running away from everything to Himalayas or simply say 'I am not gonna play this game' like we used to say as kids while playing with friends. I know it sounds really horrible feeling for a mom while ideally I should have been mushy and cuddly with my bundle of joy. But it is the fact I am talking about. After working for 6 long years I willingly took the decision to be a SAHM. Decision was tough and the change took its own time to get synced with my system. It was hard to adjust with so many changes simultaneously : soiled nappies, breast-feeding, sleepless days & nights, post delivery low phase, the emptiness which I felt after leaving my job, my health issues....list is long.

Does it all sounds like cribbing...no it is not. I admit that sometimes I do miss those Pre-Mishti days but I really cherish my life with Mishti as well. I may not be a perfect mom but yes, I have my own criterion of being a "Real Mom". I might not fit into typical stereotyped mother figure and some of my parenting style even raises eyebrows of many people. 

I may not fuss or get stressed if Mishti shows her disinterest in food & wants only milk every time for consecutive days.

I am Okay if she is crawling on the lawn grass just because she enjoys this activity a lot.

 I do not blame myself if someday her routine gets upset for any reasons and her bath & meal time is delayed a bit. 

But I freak out if any workmen of my FIL's shop try to take her in lap or play with her... I know they are loyal and had been associated with our family for so many years, but still I do not feel comfortable...that's it.

I feel bad if she picks up any bad habit and feel utterly responsible for that

So, you see my notions are very peculiar about parenting. I may not be a typical parent but now I know the feeling when people say 'having a kid is like letting a part of yourself roam outside your body'. I get scared for her when I see any so called breaking news crime involving small kids. I feel superb when I see that naughty spark in her eyes. I feel contented when she rushes to me leaving everyone else. I love being a mom....yes a 'Real Mom'.

Health is wealth....???

Health is wealth....??? Honestly speaking, I never ever cared for this phrase before my pregnancy or even for that matter couple of months after that.

So, this is one thing which I might like to change in myself is my 'Chalta hai' attitude towards my health always. Yeah....I did not treasured my high immunity body type due to which I rarely suffered from common cold, cough, general fever and all these petty bodily infections. Also, albeit high immunity I got slow BMR which resulted of a plump me in my twenties and OBESE me after my pregnancy!!

So what made realize the worth of good health?As I said I always enjoyed high immunity of my body and even while pregnant when generally this immunity level drops I managed to stay perfectly fine with a "housefull" of people suffering from bad throat & cold infections. However, only during my pregnancy I cared a bit for myself with healthy eating & regular walking which yielded my 'normal' pregnancy. I was almost fine after my pregnancy barring lower body pain & stitch scar. I was back to my normal routine the very next day Mishti was born ( I was discharged from hospital the same day my baby was born). Never to mention everything fall into place with quick recovery of my wound , Mishti able to take the breast feed etc

When Mishti was 2.5 months old, I had to go to Allahabad for 1.5 months to stay there at my in-laws place. Just a day before we came back to Gurgaon, I was infected with a strange 'milder' version of chicken-guinea. So symptoms are high body temperature with acute joint pain. This pain hit every joint of body like elbow, shoulder, wrist, finger joints, knee, ankle etc. If it had been usual situation (means if I was not a new mom) I would have never got infected with this peculiar fever but as pregnancy generally lowers the immunity of the body I got hit with this virus. So, after coming back from Allahabad  I was down with this ailment for couple of days......fever was not a matter of worry but the worst part was the acute joint pain which literally made me realize the importance of every bone of my body. Even to cover the distance from living room to bed room I took ages and literally crawled like a snail!!!! But after a week of recovery, this pain was still there in few critical joints of my body ( inner thighs, knee ankle...) and used to show off   its ugly face for every movement of mine.

We switched to homeopathy and my doc asked for a blood test to be done. Findings: The ESR & CRP level is found really high in my blood. I googled and found that it means an early stage of rheumatoid arthritis.That stupid fever had triggered these factors in my body which were dormant  ( I am saying dormant coz due to heredity factor...my mom has arthritis.... these were present in my body). Medication started and so as my my real testing time. 

Handling a small baby all alone, along with house hold chores and cooking and icing to the cake was this joint pain!!! Believe me,changing posture while sleeping had been a nightmare and for turning side it took me real 4-5 minutes!! I was not able to get myself up from bed and stand on my feet...forget about anything else I was not able to carry Mishti properly or lift her at times :-(

SG was very supportive and took frequent leaves to manage the chores but this continued for months.After couple of months it came bit under control but doc clearly told me that due to my 'weight' issues complete cure is getting delayed! I felt terrible...with no time for workouts or even walking I have no option lose even a gram of fat! Now, I got accustomed with this pain of inner thigh muscles...Yes it is still there. It is really painful as I wriggle myself out of bed or try to match pace with crawling Mishti.Doc says it is gonna take time.

Now I understand the importance of losing weight...bad enough, still not able to chalk out a regular routine for exercise as one person has to be completely after Mishti nowadays. Lets see....how early I can make a way out of this trouble. But one thing is for sure....I have to lose weight badly if I want to stop this decay of my health.