N = Name Saga

After zipping through the A to Z challenge almost over the half-mark, when N came across, I have to write about my name which incidentally starts with N.

No, in case if you have guessed something, it is not about how I got this name. My dad gave me this name as he liked it…no fancy story attached to it. However, as a kid I never liked my name. I still remember when I was in Class 6^th; I gave my dad the option of changing my name to Neha or Nisha which was obviously turned down instantly!

I hated the fact that no one was able to pronounce my name correctly. Carrying a Bong name in northern belt of India is quite difficult.  I had heard so many versions of my name that it has ceased to amuse me now.  The most common assumption was that it would spell with a ‘V’ instead of ‘B’. Do you remember how Vidya Balan has to interrupt every time in the movie Kahaani when Bongs called her Bidya instead of Vidya…in my case it was vice-versa. Few inquisitive ones doubted my spelling capability and insisted that it has to be ‘Nivedita’ instead of ‘Nibedita’. I had to explain them that Bengali language has no sound like ‘V’ sound…it is either B or Bh.

In school, I heard so many variations of my name in terms of spelling & pronunciation from teachers & fellow students; it ranged from Nivedita, Nebidita, Nibidita, Nibodita, Nebudita and so on!! The college pals were smarter and they shortened it to ‘Nibz’. I felt so relaxed, it was definitely better than to hear twisted sound of your own name!

I can recall one incident, when I was in Class 12^th and appearing for board exams. For viva-voce, we had to face external examiners. I was so terrified in my Physics practical exam. The examiner asked my name. When I told him, he asked its meaning might be to break the ice….I told him that it means ‘dedicated’…He asked immediately, ‘To whom’? I had no answer ready for it so I just said ‘to God’….and he gave me broad smile. The Viva went very well after that.

My office colleagues started with Nibedita but I was rechristened as ‘Nibbo’ or ‘Nibey’ soon. My bosses preferred to call me with last name only. However, while handling overseas client calls it was a mammoth task to tell my name to them and ninety percent of time I had to spell it with phonetic sounds. So, it would sound somewhat like:

I login into a conference call which is spread across various geographic locations of world.

Hi, this is Nibedita Bose from India, site ABC, Operations.

I am sorry, who is there from India??

This is Nibedita….N as in Nancy, I as in India, B as in Bravo, E as in Echo, D as in Delta, I as in India, T as is Tango and A as in Alpha…..and yeah the last name is B as in Bravo, O as in Oscar, S as in Sierra and E as in Echo……..Hmpffff!!! (I always ensured after this to check whether the person on other side was still alive or not!!!)

Another fact with my name is that, I had retained my maiden surname. But, there were many instances when people assumed my last name to be my hubby’s surname. When we applied for my daughter’s birth certificate it came with my name as ‘Nibedita Ghosh’ instead of ‘Bose’, when asked they said that they thought we have mistakenly filled up the form with different surname, so corrected it!!

Many of my office colleagues congratulated me through SmS, after my daughter’s birth. Few of the messages were like: Congrats, Mr. & Mrs. Bose! I didn’t know how to pass on those congratulations to nonexistent Mr. Bose though!

Till now, I have faced so many goof ups about my last name that now a day, I keep my marriage certificate handy for any kind of paperwork involved in Banks or any other offices.

When it was time to christen my daughter, we raked internet to search for a contemporary but easy to pronounce name….the only criteria my in- laws requested that if it can have somewhat related to God. After an extensive search and rejecting almost hundreds of names, we pinned it down to ‘Ishaani’, hoping that it is not easily twisted as my name was.

So, what is your Name’s story?
P.S: After my Teen years, I started liking my name and I love it absolutely now :)

M = Myths

Few days back I observed a bunch of little girls playing /chatting in our housing complex lawn. Suddenly while getting up one girl's forehead brushed with another's head......the first girl was about to leave when the second girl called her back. "we need to collide our heads once again otherwise we would get horns (Seeng)on our head!!!!". 

This was funny but even I used to believe it as a kid!! So, what all I can recollect from my memory here are few myths which I believed to core as a kid. I am still not sure how I learnt these myths because my 'Thama' (grand mom) was way too progressive to believe in these lines and my mom also never taught me about them...might be possible from school mates I got these ideas!!

(Disclaimer: All the myths & remedies mentioned below are folklore ...believe them or implement them at your own risk.This post is meant for humor only, and not to offend anyone's religious or spiritual beliefs & sentiments)

Myth 1: One time head/fore head collision can result in eruption of horns from your forehead.

Remedy: Collide it again...Yes I am serious, we used to do this deliberately!

Myth 2: Do not pluck leaves or flowers after sun-set...or for that matter Do not touch the tree/plant at all.'Bhoot(Ghost)' will not spare you...mind it!!!

Remedy: Even if you have done this unknowingly just pray to the 'Tree GOD' for forgiveness. Now, I realize this must have been spread across in earlier days in villages to avoid people from inhaling Carbon di-oxide which plants release after sunset. And like any other custom it just got downloaded in present times without any logic.

Myth 3: If someone is sitting or lying do not cross over them. It stops their height growth. (Considering my vertically challenged figure, I am damn sure that the crowd which gathers for 'Kumbh Mela' at my hometown must have crossed over me while I was sitting!!!)

Remedy: Cross again but this time from opposite side!

Myth 4: Do not touch feet if anyone is sleeping or lying...it symbolical to touching feet of a dead body!!

Remedy: I do not know...but yes this one was followed in my family and we used to get lot scolding if done.

Myth 5: If you happen to touch any stuff related to studies ( books, pens, pencils, eraser....) with your feet or for that matter if any of these fall to ground , you would surely get a blot in your academic career!!

Remedy: Pick it up touch it with you forehead and kiss it. I follow this still today as was told once as kid that actually Goddess Saraswati ( Goddess of learning & education) resides in all these items.

Myth 6: Snakes do come out and start dancing (not like Chikni Chameli but just swaying their hood!!!) if that particular 'Been' (musical instrument) is played. The credit of this belief goes to movie 'Nagina' where Sridevi who was actually a 'Nagin'(snake) danced like inebriated person every time the tune was played.

Remedy: Run away from that place where this tune is played!!

Myth 7: If you see a funeral procession, always put palm of your hand to your head till the time it is not out of sight. I am not sure what happens if we fail to follow this one.

Remedy: I don't know.

Myth 8: Never throw any discarded stuff from you body like used bandage/cotton, bunch of you hair unattended outside. Might be this was a way to teach hygiene actually.

Remedy: Spit on it and then throw ( Huh...here goes hygiene out of window!!!)

Myth 9:Do not touch anyone with broom, especially small kids. They lose weight and become thin.

Remedy: Not sure, but just don't do it. I am sure this must have been said for hygiene reasons. (Also, seeing my over-weight body structure, it clearly means, I should get broom- beating everyday two times, like some medicine dosage!!)

This is what I can remember for now...would surely add on if can recollect more!! But honestly, feeling very nice as I walk through my childhood days in my mind while writing this post.

So, What myths you all know or follow....write about it...it is fun!

L= Like

L is for Like. No, I am not talking about any affinity stuff but I am talking about that ‘Like’ button on Facebook which has transformed the actual meaning of this term. The Like button has come handy for the people who want to keep a tab on others lives but not actually bother to communicate with them.

Some key features about Like button are:

• You can let your presence feel in the virtual world without taking the hassle of actual communication with your friends, relatives or any random person and still keep in touch.
• This button can be used to reciprocate appreciation or 'liking' in virtual world. Liking each other’s status, posts & photographs sometimes are mere symbolism of ‘Scratching each other’s back’!
• Invariably, A person professionally on a high position or a celebrity gather more number of likes even on their below average ‘wall staring’ snaps. You can butter up your boss by liking all his trash and even can feel yourself lucky that Facebook has made your life so easier….Imagine if have to 'like' everything about your boss in real life – face-to face!!
• Spammers have found their way to hit the net-users with this ‘like’ weapon randomly. Many times you see a photograph posted on your wall of religious deity or famine hit children asking .pleading/threatening for a simple like from you. How can anyone express their devotion by a like button, or for that matter how would those disaster hit people would get help with your like? 
  
• Like button is very helpful when you are lacking time or interest to give a simple compliment to anybody’s photograph. It also works when you actually do not want to appreciate at all….a and liking it in real mode is too difficult.
• However, I strongly feel that Facebook should put up some ‘Unlike’ button as well. I am sure I would be using it so frequently!
• Constantly liking all post, updates, photographs & videos of your latest crush might make him/her notice you.
• Statutory warning: You might depressed with less number of likes received on your wall or might even feel jealous of others who overflow with 'Likes'
  
   


So, these are my observation about this ‘Like button”..What do you think?? At least …Like it please!!

**Images courtesy: Google images

K = Koi Baat Nahin…Lakshmi Aayi hai!

Ok...Here I am cheating. I thought of writing something else for K but some other really silly thing has come up my way. I have already posted this just after my daughter was born. But, thought of sharing it with my fellow A2Zeders....Please pardon me for this cheat post.

Koi Baat Nahin…Lakshmi Aayi hai!!!!(Translation: Nothing to worry…Goddess Lakshmi (Goddess of wealth) has arrived)

This is one common line which I heard from couple of people when my daughter was born. However, not to mention that their tone never had that excitement if in real Goddess of wealth had arrived with a big gunny bags of gold & diamonds!!

The consolation in most of the people’s tone was quite audible. Sorry to say but like reading between the lines sometimes you can hear beyond the lines. Few smart ones quickly said “It doesn’t matter it is a boy or a girl, just a hale & hearty baby”. and they are smart ones to alter their original comments because of my ‘firebrand’(!!) nature but forget to wipe the consolation in their tone.

One of my elderly relative said 'Ohhhh (I am stressing on this big Ohhh)….daughters bring good luck to family'. Excuse me…if I had given birth to a son then why would have his ‘luck quotient’ had been lesser???

When I was in my 2^nd trimester, there were two or three more female colleagues who were expecting. So we used to have our group discussion forum on maternity issues anytime, anywhere. Few other female colleagues (generally moms) would also join us. One day, a mom to a 2 year old brought a fun test (a questionnaire kind of list which asks whether you like to eat sweet or salty food, which side of your tummy the baby has more movements…) to decide the gender of the unborn baby. All of us took the test for fun. After an hour I found one of the preggo ladies crying in the washroom. When I asked she told me that how mean of that other lady who deliberately twisted the test and told her it’s a girl!!! I got so irked that I sarcastically said that she can very well exchange her result with mine( I got the result that it’s a boy) and barged out of the restroom. Imagine an educated lady, working in a MNC crying because someone told her she would be a mother to a girl….horrible!!!!

She had told me later that how her SIL (a MBA, mother of a male child) says that at least the first child should be a boy so that her importance in her household is maintained. I felt even she was also quite convinced with this logic!!!

Another really weird viewpoint I heard when one of my close relative told me that if my genes overshadows my hubby’s genes then it would be a girl  ( we are two sisters only, no brothers  and my hubby has a young brother, no sisters)and vice versa. What a twisted genetic theorem…..I really felt like taking out my notepad & pen and explaining her complete XX & XY chromosome theory!!!!

Some futuristic people advised me to start saving money for my girl. When I asked snapped them if it had been a boy then a saving was not needed, they few got the drift and changed the topic to “money is nowadays such a necessity for better upbringing of a child”.

I really fail to understand why there is crazy attitude to have a son. Might be I won’t ever experience it as my parents never injected this fact that I have done some crime being a girl. We are two sisters and my parents never yearned for a son. When I was pregnant I read the news of a newborn girl killed by her mother in some village, I literally begged to Almighty that “please if a baby boy is in my womb exchange it to someone’s girl who are crazy for a son” (You see…pregnancy hormones were elevated at their best that time…J!!!!)

Jokes apart, I really feel sorry for these people. Some traits are injected so deeply that even high education cannot wash it. Another very common term I had heard that “Ye meri beti nahi beta hai (She is not a daughter but a son to me). This again turns me off. Why can’t we accept our girls as simple human daughters without labeling them as Goddess, good/bad luck charm or a son? Why any daughter has to prove their mettle by camouflaging as a son?

But I had saved the best for the last: My girl is fairer as compared to me and my hubby. So one of the elderly relative told me that “Good she is fair….you won’t face any difficulty while searching a match for her” Damn…Give me a break!!!

I = Indiscipline

My previous post talked about my hometown – Allahabad. I am continuing my complain spree about the city. Indiscipline or simply lack of civic & common sense is rushing in the blood veins of the local residents.

I would not reiterate the horrendous way of driving people has adapted here. Traffic rules, traffic sign and indicators of vehicles act as mere showpieces. The person who is driving in front of you can suddenly decide to turn either left or right or even stop at the middle of the road. After this he would even stare you for your ignorance about reading his mind regarding the turn of his vehicle. This terrible driving sense is common in many other parts of India as well.

But here, I want to highlight a different issue which I came across. I went to withdraw money from the Automatic Teller Machine placed in our local market place in Allahabad. I saw a small crowd at the gate of the ATM. From the glass door, I could see more than required number of people inside hovering over the screen of that ATM. I thought that it might have got dysfunctional and turned back to leave from there. My dad was accompanying me. He asked me the reason of hasty retreat and then said this machine is perfectly fine and this is a common scenario in almost every ATM of Allahabad.

No queues….people jostling to enter the cubicle…..apart from the person who is operating his/her account in that machine, there would be many other random people lurking on his/her head. Few are actually waiting for their chance but I was startled when a couple of boys told me that they are just chilling off  as there is an Air-conditioner switched on. I was not able to digest this indiscipline at all…and promptly rushed to the branch of the bank situated next to the ATM. I put forward my complain to one of Customer service representative who looked at me as if I had asked him to take off his clothes!!.
Then, after sometime when he understood what I am saying, he sent a security guard to shoo off the unwanted people from that ATM. It worked for exactly 5.86 minutes and the situation went back to square one after that. I had altercation with couple of people when I insisted on forming a queue and then entering the cubicle alone. They blamed me of wasting their precious time!!

I can never ever imagine of this kind of indiscipline and chaos in Gurgaon, not even in older part of the city. I have seen many unmanned ATM as well where no one has to prompt anybody to form a queue but people by default wait for their turn standing outside the ATM.

What can I call it….Allahabad’s typical nonchalant attitude which resists any new change to its core!

H = Hometown

Allahabad .....My hometown....my birthplace....a small city of Eastern Uttar Pradesh where I had spent almost 24 years of my life. Most people in India & across the world know about this city for MahaKumbh festival. I would not dig deeper into the minutiae of the large scale internationally recognized festival held in Allahabad…Google already has enough information regarding it. Rather, I would traverse through my perception about this city. 

A small religious city which basks in the glory of its numerous temples…some quite ancient & well known….some newly constructed…some huge and flaunts wealth of its devotees…while some just cropped up street side or rather encroaching the pavement almost overnight. 

Another striking feature of this city is its affinity for the preparation of various administrative & civil exams viz. IAS, PCS exams. Various coaching centre of different shapes & sizes have mushroomed all over the city which in turn has given refuge to aspiring ‘red/blue beacon’ students from neighboring villages and smaller towns. This breed of students has taken that spider’s story too seriously who never gave up even after failing multiple times to climb the wall!! They stay in the city in rented rooms while fooling their family members back home with the rosy picture of their dreams of civil services jobs. When asked, they boisterously claim that they are doing ‘Tayyari’ ( preparation) and this can continue till the time they are not crossing the upper age limit for appearing in these exams. I know few person who were staying in my locality when I was a teenager and doing ‘Tayyari’ and are still doing that. Many of them have forged their date of birth so many times you can even spot a balding, way above thirty, gentlemen who still declare himself as ‘Tayyari’ student. In reality, they do nothing other than attending coaching classes & roaming like free bulls in local market places while hogging from various street vendors. 

This city has a perfect laid-back attitude with bagful of vulnerable ego. People do not want to work and you can be looked upon as some alien from different planet if you expect customer service from any commercial point. Any kind of change and upliftment is least welcomed in this city. So, it still remains somehow same what it was a decade back. People have ample amount of free time here……I know few people who used to hang around near the local betel shop, chat endlessly while staring and stripping all female clan passing from that road with their creepy eyes when I was in school/college…i.e. almost more than a decade ago. Last time I visited Allahabad few days back, I found them still there. They have spent their whole life doing the same thing or rather nothing. 

This city still judge you by the clothes you wear…and here I am not experimenting much but talking about how jeans/trousers worn girls are still looked down with raised brows. 

I am not being a cribbing worm here but actually I feel bad when I see other smaller cities zipping past my hometown in development, infrastructure and other positive changes while it foolishly remains aloof from all the changes around it. 

G = Give me another chance!!

Give me some sunshine, Give me some rain, 

Give me another chance to grow up once again. 

All of us have some secret regrets…not exactly regrets but something like “I wish I could have done that”…some unspoken, undone remnants of life. After completing three decades of my life when I look back and walk down the memory lane, I find many such moments which I want to relive with some improvisation. 

I wish I could have spent some more quality time with my grandparents. They stayed with us in the same house and had more than fifty percent credit in our upbringing. I had so many sweet-bitter-lovely memories of them. I feel myself blessed to have their companionship till my twenties. But, even after almost a decade has passed since their demise, I still cringe for their company. 

I wish I shouldn't have wasted my precious time in a useless relationship with a person who never understood me or valued my presence. I missed many fun & enjoyable moments of my life just because I was too bogged down by the insensitive & nonchalant attitude of that person. 

I wish I could have been not so overtly emotionally dependent on that person that even I was scared to speak my mind due to the insecurity in our relationship. I wish I could have asserted my feelings & thoughts more often and understand that it can never drive away the right person from your life but can help to weed out the wrong ones. 

I wish I could have chosen my subjects more wisely in the initial years of my academic life. That time, I only knew that I love Mathematics and it was my strength but along with that came two monster twins’ physics & Chemistry which I was never able to tackle comfortably. 

I wish someone told me, When I was 11 years old that it is absolutely fine to raise hell against that creep who relentlessly sketches excuses to feel my body in a bad way. I wish someone told me that you need not to feel guilty about the whole thing and it is that slime ball who should be ashamed. 

I wish I could have been in touch with more of my school & college mates. I tried to revive the bond later when Orkut & Fb came into existence, but by that time the aura of the bond had already faded. I am still in touch with few of my school friends who studied with me since class 1 and the charisma of our relationship has remain almost intact. But, surprisingly the college friends group hare now only FB friends with whom the relation is tangled in ‘likes, comments & status updates’ only. 

I wish I could have revived my reading passion earlier. But, better late than never. 

I wish I could have stepped into this wonderful blogging world few years back, when it came into existence. 

I wish I could have been more prudent towards my health and shouldn't have neglected the weight issue which has completely gone out of control now……sigh!! 

Ohhh My God…this list is growing so long….rest I am leaving to pen down in some posts…you see, I have to sustain till Z and it is only F now!! 

F = Feku!!

I know this is not an English word, but when I saw #feku trending in Twitter today, I was unable to resist ranting about a bighead feku whom I know very well. Before I precede further let me explain that feku is a Hindi term which denotes a person who brags a lot. So, just thought of taking it out of my system which otherwise I can never say on his face.

This person has joined some ‘pyramid structure networking business’ almost a couple of years back. I really admire his risk taking ability and the dedication with which he has taken up this new assignment in his life. He even left his job a year back so I think he must be doing well in that business. I am not challenging that….and would always feel good if he does well in his life considering him as my childhood friend. He has approached with his concept to us earlier which we had declined politely, but somehow he seems to not understand the term ‘No’. He keeps on his persistence convincing session from time to time.

Now, comes the annoying part. As per his business’s rulebook, he is trying to make use of the social networking sites to show off his successful journey in this business. I have no problem when he posts 86 snaps of his new sedan car in FB which he bought after selling his hatchback. I even do not care when he tries to pass it on as new car which is actually a second-hand buy. But he irritates a lot when he puts up stirring status regarding his buy while demeaning other people who have not joined his business. He keeps on posting insulting status & photographs about corporate employees showing what an unfortunate morons they are who have to slog to earn their living, while he is on his bed of dollars even at 12PM on Monday mornings.

Now days, he deliberately arrives late in our get-togethers citing his busy schedule as reason. Recently he crossed all the limits when he carried his own bottle of liquor of some expensive brand to our parties. He boisterously mentioned that the regular brand which others are having doesn't suits him now and he would prefer this drink only. He never felt any need to show courtesy to offer his ‘expensive brand’ to anyone else.

I understand his show-off attitude is actually the raw material for enticing new prospective clients for his business, but sometimes it becomes too much to handle. But, in the midst of all this drama, he forgets that we are his childhood friends who knows in & out about him…..so, no matter how much he flies his own kite we are aware of his origin & his real self and would never get trapped in his sparkling ‘business’ web.

Updates Unplugged...!!!

So, here I am back to my normal life. I might have cribbed about its monotonous routine in past but now I realize where my comfort zone lies. Past one month zipped away in my visit to Allahabad to be a part of my sister’s marriage. We came back to Gurgaon with huge baggage of marriage hangover. Although SG says ‘you now have fodder for almost 100 diverse posts in your blog’, I don’t feel like writing even a single word (Blogger’s block!!!!....ehhhh). But as so many changes are floating around in my life , I thought of jotting them down.

• I came back with ailing Mishti who was down with fever, cough & cold. The chest congestion was real bad and gain she has to go through a dose of antibiotics. Doctor advised steam & nasal drops alongwith medicines, both of which next to impossible to be applied on Mishti.
• We had a gala time in the marriage ceremonies. It was whacky tiresome to shop continuously for 10 days prior to that and still missing out few things on the D-day.
• Had a first-hand experience to witness the difference between traditional planning & corporate planning in the event management of the wedding. The generation gap was evident and most of the time it was Me, SG & our cousins Vs or elders ( esp my dad)!
• This wedding reinforced my thought-process about the big fat Indian wedding where money almost flows like water down the drain.
• I managed to get ready on time on the D-day and was first time pretty satisfied with my look. It is not that I am any fashion freak….but I had this desire of looking presentable in my only sister’s marriage. Even SG was looking wow in traditional dhoti-kurta.
• There is a Hindi proverb which says ‘ Sood asal se jyada pyara hota hai’ ( rough translation: The interest amount is more appealing than the principal amount!). Found this line quite true with this Allahabad trip when presence of Mishti diluted much past bitterness and even I received the unexpected wonderful behavior in some relationships.
• Now, as we have planned I am gearing up for my job-hunt. The first step has been covered by hiring a full-time maid from a maid agency. The search for a nice daycare cum playschool is still on.
• My new maid, daycare search & the wedding minutiae demand separate posts so I would soon do that.
• Also, Mishti has added few more words to her vocabulary. This again needs another post….Ahhh poor girl …her mom is so lazy!!!
• Gradually, Mishti is getting back to her normal self. Apart from ill-health she went a psychological change when after being surrounded by so many people all the time she had to be with only two of us here. As SG was not continuously with us there( he went with us came back then again went there before the marriage and came back in 4 days) so Mishti was more clingy to him & she stuck to him as if he might again vanish if she is not in his lap.
• I am yet to write a review of a book from Blogadda and I am almost done with reading that. So expect a book review post soon.
• Also, would like to apologize from my fellow bloggers on whose blog I was regular….I am back and would soon catch up with posts guys!!
• My post was published in parentous.com. Read it here.

So, be prepared for an array of posts in blog. Happy blogging !!

Just Like That........Surprise

A TV commercial of a leading jewellers shows a couple where the man teases the woman who is getting ready by saying her neck is bit crooked and then gifts a beautiful necklace as surprise gift!!! Did someone noticed that the matching ear-rings of that surprise gift are already dangling on the woman's ear from the start of the commercial! What a surprise!!!!