W = Why, Who, When?

Why we cannot ensure safety to our kids, toddlers & teenagers?

Why everyday small kids have to face the brutality of monstrous pedophiles?

What kind of pleasure those beasts’ gets by inflicting pain on those tender souls?

Who would take care of the scars, the wounds which would remain etched in her mind for her life?

Why any incident needs to have horrendously atrocious to elicit our outrage?

Why I have to feel terrified every time my toddler is out of my sight?

When would the victim blaming stop with the pleas that accused ‘got carried away’, ‘was staying away from family since long’, ‘never wanted to rape but the girl provoked her’?

When would the victim blaming stop with the excuses that ‘she was drunk’, ‘she was wearing exposing clothes’, ‘she was asking for it’?

Why we have to listen to our politician’s bull shit & mechanical speeches every time after any heinous brutal incident takes place?

Who defines the time line of judgments in Fast-track courts of Indian judiciary system – actual how fast they are?

Why we cannot teach our sons to treat the female clan with equality and respect the diversity of culture?

When would the law enforcers of our country understand their responsibilities rather than scaring, harassing, passing judgmental remarks and sometimes even raping the victim?

Who can be blamed when a rapist slips from the hands of law-enforcers with the plea of being a juvenile?

I can continue these questions endlessly as there are so many which are staring at our face, but right now feeling too numb & disgusted to write a single word more.

Selfless Soldier

As a school kid we found him scary – with thick moustache covering almost half of his face and big rolling eyes, he managed to create that aura in his personality which actually his profession required. He was the watchman – chowkidar – guard who took his position near the gate of Girls Degree College since many years. Our school was situated just opposite to that college. I saw him relentlessly present on his duty every day since I was in kindergarten.  He shooed away the school kids with his loud voice, who loitered in front of that college gate apart from shouting on the cycle rickshaw pullers who jostled to get customers from the college. We called him Muchhad (a typical slang used for a person with big moustache).

This incident happened when I was in Class 10^th. It was the first day of our school’s summer vacation; however the college was still open. Our batch was called to school to attend some extra classes. By the time, we came out after our classes around 2PM; the road in front of our school was deserted with hardly few people around. Among those people, there were few boys in their early twenties who were seen regularly wandering in front of that girl’s college with malicious intentions. They didn’t even spared schoolgirls and always searched for triggers to enter into a fistfight with the boys of our school. They sketched opportunities to vent out their perversion – Stalking, hooting, whistling and sometimes even dared to grope few girls.

I would not dilute their heinous behavior by calling them eve-teasers or road side Romeos, but they were assaulters – who assaulted girls psychologically and physically without any shame. That time, we have already heard from grapevine that some ugly incident has happened few days back. A girl has mustered courage to confront them when she was assaulted and even slapped one of the hooligans. This gave guts to other girls and they managed to scare those guys enough to leave from that place instantly before the college administration stepped into the issue. For next few days, those guys never turned up.

But, on that particular day, I saw those guys waiting like hawks on their bikes. Next I saw a bunch of girls coming out from that college. Suddenly, a bike with three people sitting on it zipped in front of them, forcing them to halt. One of those guys took out a dagger and held it closely near that girl’s neck who has slapped them. Other girls stepped back in fear. The other pillion rider guy leaped in the scene with a bottle of acid in his hand. We were dumbstruck with the fearful intensity of the happenings which has numbed our senses and transformed us into mute spectators.

That creep was about to open that Acid bottle when out of sudden Muchhad jumped into the scene. He started shouting hysterically and hit the guy with the lone weapon in his hand – his stick. He dropped the Acid bottle with the blow which broke into pieces with a sizzling sound and splash of acid all over the ground. Muchhad continued to hit that guy with his stick. By this time, the first guy left the girl and attacked Muchhad to save his friend. He stabbed him with his dagger on his arm twice and all three of them beat a retreat from the scene hastily. I returned to my senses with my fellow classmates shouting and running inside the school for help. Soon, many people from both the college & school rushed to the spot for help where Muchhad was bleeding profusely but still in his senses. He was taken to nearby hospital and his wounds almost took a month to heal. He joined back his duty afterwards and was felicitated by the college management.

Whenever I passed thorough that road even after graduating from the school, I made sure to catch a glimpse of that altruistic person. Few years back, during my visit to my hometown, I searched for him again but found a new face in his place. My niece, who studies in the same school, told me that Muchhad died few months back.

Although this incident took place almost couple of decades back but still today I salute that selfless soldier who never gave a second thought before jumping into the crime scene. Even the fact that those guys were armed was not able to deter his action. His mind only raced & reacted to save that girl whose face & body could have been charred by that acid. His quick reaction and presence of mind not only averted that ugly incident but even managed to draw attention to the shoddy safety measures implanted by management & government for school & college students. He could have remained silent, He could have just been a mere spectator, but his soldier instinct compelled him to act without even caring for his own well-being. Although he was not educated enough, but his action has proven his mettle to the world.

This post is a part of #Soldierforwomen in association with BlogAdda.com

Jane Kya Soche Mann Bawra.....

Following the trend of blogging in pointers, here I am just trying to spill out what going in my mind and my life.

1. After reading an article which talks about the different side of Guwahati molestation case, I don't know why but somehow I am feeling disgusted. Read the article and you would know how efficiently media played its role and what kind of politics wrapped mud-slinging is going on over this incident. There were more articles in the same website which enlightened various other aspects of the issue but I felt pukish to read more of it.
2. The photographs of the main accused of Guwahati incident is flooding the virtual world. Might be sharing his snaps would not budge the slacking law system and sick mindset of similar oxymorons but at least that sicko is getting his share of curses & 'badnami' all over his FB page. Social networking has some good aspects as well!!
3. Demise of Rajesh Khanna has given all the news channels enough fodder to last for at least a week now. I am not a great fan of this personality but somehow the songs lip-synced by him and sung by Kishore Kumar are my all-time favourite. I actually detest this person for his chauvinistic persona. But today when they were showing his funeral procession with his immortal songs playing in background surprisingly I felt lump in my throat!!
4. Now on personal front, Can somebody please explain SG that he is not the only daddy in this world who's brat throws tantrums while combing and tying Ariel like ponytails to her hair. Whenever he finds me having a tug-O-war with Mishti for managing her unruly hair, he makes constipated faces and try to act as a saviour for her darling.
5. Some people are really getting on my nerves with their showing off attitude. I understand you are into something big and appreciate your dedication towards your newly chosen career path of 'Direct Marketing system' or what you call it as 'e-commerce'. I have already made you clear that it is not my cup of tea. You might be sleeping on bags of dollars by acquiring this concept in your life, but I am comfortable in my simple mattress. Also, just because you are this self proclaimed entrepreneur now, don't show-off yourself as the most wise person on this planet and others who are not into your 'business'  are morons. The more you put up stirring status on FB, more you prove your immature buffoonery.
6. My belief that 'too much proximity spoils the aura of a relationship' is strengthened while one of our common friends stayed with us for few(??) days. I tried to extend my help in their turmoil times where they had to search for a rented house in Gurgaon after being transferred and genuinely welcome them while they came here to stay for a week. But, later on I felt like being taken for granted when they showed quite casual attitude in their house-hunt procedure and highlighted some negative point or other in every house they see.But it went off the limit when they extended their stay for another week without consulting us even after getting the house on pretext of shifting, getting it cleaned, unpacking .....means they would keep on unpacking their stuff and decorate the house with wall-hangings instead of getting the AC fixed first and would visit my place for dinner & sleep. I don't know I hate acting this mean, but felt taken for granted. Somehow, I feel better as I get these thoughts out of my system!!
7. My weight issue needs serious addressing now. My 'Madhya Pradesh' still looks like as if I am 7-8 months preggo!! I would be visiting my doctor this weekend to get it checked. Let's see what she has to say about it.  My brisk walk schedule took a backseat with array of guest in house as my whole time vanished in cooking only...charged up to start again tomorrow.
8. Suddenly felt that it has been long that I did a post on new antics of  Mishti.,so next post is going to be on li'l brat only :-)

Celebrating Myself....

Alert: This turned out to be a long post.

As I start thinking about writing on this topic of  'Celebrating Myself', I realized that indeed it is a difficult theme to elaborate. We all must have celebrated so many things & events in our life be it numerous birthdays, anniversaries, our success, other's failure(!!), different milestones of life etc. but the moments when we honestly celebrated being us is quite few.

So, grabbing this opportunity, I want to recall an incident of my life when I celebrated myself . That was not very significant incident but yes, it gave me that confidence & self-esteem which I carry on my nose (as people say... :)) till today. So, I would just rewind the scenario when I was 21 years old. As a kid and a teenager I always had been the Ms. Nobody in my school or coaching centre or my college. With my below average looks, plump body and average academic performance I was hardly to be noticed and kept a low key in any public gatherings. Sometimes my confidence level would hit the ground when I see other girls/boys of my age proving their mettle in academics or sports or other extra curricular activities or might be in wooing boyfriends .

Anyways, coming back to that incident, it was another regular day when I was on my way to BCA classes. That time I generally used to drive my two-wheeler to college but for some reasons I was using public transport that day. So, I took the shared auto which would drop me till a certain stop after which I had to take a cycle rickshaw. In Allahabad ( my home town) these shared autos are any female's nightmare and a perfect environment for sickening gropers or eve-teasers. So, I was sitting at the window-corner seat when a very well-dressed young man boarded that auto from the nearby engineering college stop and occupied the seat next to me. He had a big bag with him which he kept on his lap.

Soon, he started the conversation with me by asking the shortest way to reach railway station. He told me that  he is from Delhi, had come for some entrance exams in my city and would be boarding his train the same night. He was kind of a talkative person and started talking how small my city is and how the conservative mentality of Allahabad is suffocating. Although he was a stranger but I also chatted with him to kill the time. But, after some time I realized that he was way too close sitting next to me in spite of less passengers in that auto ( 3 guys were sitting in the seat facing us and only two of us are seated in other seat which is generally meant for 4 people).  I ignored this, and then again after sometime I felt his hand on my body when the auto took a sharp turn. One part of my brain started sending alert signals but the other part asked me not to over-react and be quiet. I put my folder in between us but it was of no use.That sicko very proficiently used his bag as a hideout for his loitering hand and groped me ...this time his hand was on my breasts!!!

Moreover, that leach is continuously talking with me while doing so!!.My stop was approaching,my brain was  working peculiarly, I pushed his hand with my elbow, got down at my stop, paid fare to the driver and then I just said to that guy 'Listen'. As soon as he peeped out of that auto door, I slapped him!!!.....Yes I hit him on his face....He was dumbstruck. The auto was about to move but the driver stopped ...the other passengers were astonished. This slap was quite unexpected from a small town docile girl. I asked the auto driver to move on and went away to get a rickshaw. Trembling with anger and the outburst I took the rickshaw. I was still not able to believe that I have hit somebody. Other than hitting innocent blows during sibling fights, I had never ever hit anyone in my life.

It was not the first time I faced this sexual harassment but I don't know what triggered to replace my usual mute 'ignore it' reaction to this violent outburst. As my anger settled down a very feel-good feeling engulfed my mind. I was feeling so better than those incidents when I chose to keep quiet and was scared of being judged and labeled in case if I raise my voice against these sexual harassment.

As soon as I reached home I called( it was land-line phone connection days....) both of my best friends and told them about it. When my parents came to know about this they just told me that I could have not been violent but raising a voice and public disgrace would have worked. I felt happy with the fact that they were not advising so because I am a girl but were just concerned about their child's well being ( My mom said what if that guy had been a localite and retaliated with a big gang or acid attack!!!). Anyways, in the evening both my friends came at my place and congratulated me. One of them ( who is at present my hubby) got pastries for me to 'celebrate'. Soon, other fiends also dropped by and we discussed & discussed that matter.I felt at the top of the world.

After this incident, I never kept quiet while being groped or harassed or even being treated biased. Sometimes with an elbow push in DTC bus, or with a stern stare till the time the other person feels uncomfortable or with being vocal and candid about my right to information at my workplace I carried on. My personality also went through a drastic change gradually after this incident with my new found confidence. From an earlier Ms. nobody in college I became Ms. Indispensable in my professional life. I handled double of my work- responsibilities with sheer confidence & presence of mind. I enjoyed being myself. It is not that my looks have improved or I have acquired this zero-sized figure or shone in academic field....I was the same person but now equipped with my persona who is not scared to express her opinions, likes & dislikes ,ambitions or thought process and above all is able to give it back if any 'nonsense' comes her way.

As today I continue to celebrate myself, just being 'Me' ( which I know is very unladylike as per the stereo-types)....still I regret why I had not slapped all those molesters, gropers, flashers or eve-teasers who have earlier trespassed my personal space earlier with their heinous activities.